


Feeling Good Was Easy

by Loran_Arameri



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Actually Everybody Needs a Hug Because, Dom Loki (Marvel), Dom/sub, Domestic Avengers, Drinking, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Has Issues, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pizza/Thor, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Sub Tony Stark, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Under-negotiated Kink, slightly anti-Team Cap, the Avengers are a dysfunctional family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2019-10-06 06:05:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 77,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17339957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loran_Arameri/pseuds/Loran_Arameri
Summary: Thor had brought Loki to the tower, as a prisoner. Tony's only concern was that Loki was locked up save. Until, one night, he found himself craving company.Meanwhile the Avengers were looking for Bucky to bring him home.





	1. Winning a Battle Is Not Winning The War

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you'll enjoy this one.  
> Updates irregular from here on out. But we only have a little bit to go. Chapterwise; Emotionally is a whole other scale.

Of course, Loki did not startle when the armored door to the anteroom opened late that night. He could not stifle some surprise, however, as Thor was not due to come back for another twelve hours at least. His brother kept a regular schedule while he was on Midgard, making sure his prisoner didn’t go too long without food or company.

Although Loki was not sure if prisoner was the right term for his current occupation. Pet might have actually come closer. After all, he was sitting in something resembling a large, round aquarium for several weeks now, well fed and fairly comfortable. He hated it.

Stark obviously had taken some ideas from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Hulk enclosure when coming up with the design but had added 'strongly in the tech department' as he framed it. Thor had brought in magic in some form. Loki was still figuring out what was repressing his magic, how it was bound to the cage, and who was its originator. Thor might have been Frigga's natural son but all he did pick up were her looks. There was no way he would be able to provide this level of magical confinement by himself.

The entrance chamber hugged about a third of the the cage, with the rest facing concrete walls. Due to the spells, (and he still wasn't convinced it were spells after all), Loki was unable to see who his late night (or rather early-morning) guest was before they were out of the door’s shadow and well into the room.

His initial surprise at the late-night interruption grew when Tony Stark wandered in, a tumbler with some liquor in hand and, for the first time since their encounter before the battle of New York, without his armor in Loki's presence. He looked tired and, under a layer of grandeur, worn out.

“Finally, someone who’s not sleeping. All the other middle-schoolers are in bed already. But you are awake.” Stark made a welcoming gesture, quite too big for the intended audience. It could have been a habit he picked up after donning the Iron Man armor regularly, to counteract the machine-like appearance, but Loki doubted that after what he had seen of the man so far.

This was a curious development. At any rate, Loki was going to use an opportunity when it presented itself. “To what do I owe the visit of my honorable host? Until now you were content to let other people handle my … accommodations.” He made sure his tone was teasing enough to make the Midgardian notice. Although he knew he was not as dense as your average Asgardian, so there was no need to make it overly irritating.

Stark did not seem to be dismayed by his remarks. “For all intents and purposes, you’re Thor's problem. I merely support this with room, money and tech to make sure you stay where he intends you to stay,” he answered lightly.

This was going to be interesting.

“As shiny as your contraption is, even you cannot be blind enough to believe that is what is keeping me here,” Loki said. It wasn’t bait, at least not solely. 

“For your Houdini moves: again, that’s Thor's business. But I remember how you broke a window using me as the emergency hammer and that was not fueled by the scepter or your magic. Hence the contraption,” Stark said with a flourish. “I favor the idea of you in here over you in a S.H.I.E.L.D. designed cardboard box.”

There it was again, Stark’s pride. It wasn’t a weakness that was hard to spot. Not in a man who had put up his name in giant letters on his tower to be seen from miles away.

Loki spoke his next words casually, hoping to have them poke even deeper. “And, yet you are willing to let the major part of my safekeeping be handled by forces unknown to you.”

And satisfyingly enough, Stark's face soured.

“Magic sucks. I would love the world going back to pure physics this instant and really wouldn’t miss a thing,” he grumbled. “But as this is not going to happen any time soon, Blond-and-Flashy has to provide for his genocidal baby brother and he has confidence in his subcontractors.”

Subcontractors. Plural and with a good relationship to Thor. The ‘contractor’ part could be due to Stark's relationship with words. It seemed to be of an unreliable nature, in a crafted fashion. Loki could not avoid acknowledging that in the Midgardian.

“Relying on your Asgardian guard dog once again, where humans fall ridiculously short of the task?” He tried to wind Stark up further.

“Humans were fine on the great scale of things until your family decided to make Earth your Monopoly board,” he snapped. “Now we are some kind of prize to be fought over by the most unsavory groups of the universe. And getting the worst of this contained is something we will very damn well take Asgard's support for, as it is fucking due.”

This was amusing.

“Prize, hmm? At least, you have no illusions about which role you are to play,” Loki hummed.

Stark let out another sigh and all tension visibly left his body. He took another sip from his glass before answering. “How about we just don’t do that? You explaining in minuscule detail how humans are so far below you that we should be thankful if you enslave us and me telling you how that’s not going to happen and that we will fight until we win or die. You laughing about the sentiment that this would make a difference. Me pointing out that the last time we won. You saying 'Winning a battle is not winning the war.' Yada yada yada.”

Loki watched silently, as Stark rubbed his brow with his free hand, before looking around to find a surface to place the now empty tumbler.

“We did not really consider furnishing this side of your suite. Maybe I should get a couch and a table. Does Thor just stand all the time he spends in here?” With a huff he placed the tumbler on the floor next to the wall of the enclosure and, after a moment of consideration, sat down beside it, leaning sideways against the glass, his head touching its cool surface.

Loki was intrigued by the faith Stark had in his own invention, only separated from him by the frail looking barrier. But he knew from his first night what that glass was able to hold up to. He had smashed all of the sparse furniture on it without it even leaving a scratch, let alone breaking through.

Stark seemed not inclined to start talking again unprompted, but Loki was not about to get less out of this situation than possible. He aimed for not stressing the fragile human further, as he might get too agitated and leave. Measured and in a neutral tone, he said, “Then let me instead ask you again, Stark, why did you come here?”

Stark took a moment before answering. “As you will stay here for some time and I really have no nerve to address you as Liesmith or something, you can start calling me Tony. People calling me Stark usually want something.”

Loki ignored the fact that he wanted a whole lot from Stark, first and foremost information, closely followed by a possible way out of this cage.

“So, Tony, why are you sitting on the ground before a prison cell containing somebody you referred to in the last minutes as: a problem, genocidal, and the worst while this tower contains surely well-furnished rooms with your friends and allies in them?”

Stark acted amused by the question. He cocked up one of his eyebrows with a grin as he looked up, making eye-contact with Loki. 

“Making lists of the names I’m calling you, Snow White?”

Loki just kept the eye-contact not giving the man any reaction. It was a deflection so obvious that he did not even consider to honor it with an answer. After a few seconds, Stark rolled his eyes and turned his head, addressing his next statement more to the room than to his opponent behind the glass.

“See that is the point. People not being manic geniuses tend to sleep at this time of day. I just needed a break from revolutionizing fluid mechanics, so that Barton can have his new wonder-arrows. And I thought it would be kind of nice to talk to someone with a face once every three days. No offense, JARVIS.”

“None taken, Sir,” the disembodied voice answered. Another thing Loki wanted to know more about.

Stark continued, still speaking to an audience that was not there, “And as I was pretty sure to find you here, and you do keep odd hours–”

Loki was a diversion. Readily available in Stark’s menagerie to indulge the bored Midgardian, but only when no one else was giving him the time of day. “It is certainly convenient to have a conversation partner that cannot escape.”

Stark looked hurt by that, which surprised Loki. He had not thought the man easy to read before. Maybe it was the late night or the alcohol. Or what he said had struck at the core of it all.

Stark got back to his feet, albeit slowly, his mind seemingly too heavy for his body.

“Yeah, got the hint,” he said, readying himself to leave.

And there he had already pushed Tony over his threshold.

Loki gave it one last try to save the situation, or at least gave it a more positive spin, whatever might help him in the future.“I am sorry. I am just not used to entertain guests in my new home yet. I could offer some left-over pizza Thor brought today.” He waved with the box.

Stark rubbed his whole hand over his face.

“I know I’m disgusting, but that sounds actually good. I’m not even sure when was the last time I ate.”

Loki blinked. He had meant it as a quip. But he got up and put the box in the air lock anyway.

Tony gathered it out the other side and opened it without much enthusiasm. Then he shrugged and picked up a slice.

It was somewhat dreary: Loki in the cage, which had seemed huge the first time he saw it with just a bed, a small table with a chair and the small bathroom pod. Having been confined to it for two months now, it felt like it shrunk everyday. Tony in the visitor room before it also looked smaller than he had two month ago, but then he had also been in his armor.

Silence stretched out and became uncomfortable.

“This isn't bad though,” Tony said at some point, obviously to say at least something.

“Yeah, I thought so the first ten times Thor brought it. After the twentieth time I stopped counting.” He grimaced. Thor’s visits were not as disconcerting as they had been. They had both arranged with the situation. But Loki could not share Thor’s ceaseless admiration for flatbread. “If you would give him some pointers regarding Earth cuisine, I would not be ungrateful.”

Tony's face lightened up. “I could also bring you the wares myself, cut out the middleman.”

Giving Stark a reason to return? That should be favorable. Loki none the less waited a moment before answering, “You may as well.”

Stark had put his grin back on, easily just like another piece of his attire. Or like his armor.

“It's a date, Munchkin.”


	2. He Is My Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve asks Tony for help.

“Hey, you’re late.”

Tony frowned at Steve's assessment.

“Did I miss a team meeting, or did we have an appointment?” He was about to ask JARVIS why he hadn’t gotten a reminder.

“No, I’m sorry. You just said yesterday that you would be out on SI business until noon.”

He looked a bit longer at Steve's polite smile and nodded, before heading past him to his apartment's small kitchen. He had vacated the penthouse shortly after the team had moved in. It had become the common floor, as Tony decide he was not spending nearly enough time away from the workshop to argue for hogging the best space. Not that anyone had argued, but he didn’t want to wait until somebody did feel the need to.

“Yeah, would've been, if there had not been this new knucklehead appointed to the board, who seemed unable to grasp that Pepper's the CEO and I am head of R&D and the majority shareholder and that there won't be any change to basic company policy, we’re not on board with.”

He got himself a bottle of water from the fridge and gestured to Steve, offering him one too. He denied with a wave.

“We basically spent the afternoon quenching a would-be coup and getting a new board. Or Pepper did that. I mostly yelled at people.”

He smiled at the chuckle Steve gave. It had been an agonizingly exhausting afternoon. He had avoided as much of dealing with the business side of SI as Pepper let him get away with for years now. If he was honest, it was mostly avoiding the people associated with it. He still checked on the numbers and strategies to be able to support Pepper and make sure his tech did fulfill her needs. But he had more energy to do that when he didn’t have to play show pony for the board as often.

Talking to Steve was almost relaxing in comparison. At least for the moment. Tony should be grateful as long as it kept. It usually didn’t stay that way for long. He leaned onto the counter, sipping from the bottle.

“So, why were you waiting for me? And you didn’t wait all afternoon, did you?” he asked, his earlier concern coming back.

“I just came up fifteen minutes ago. JARVIS told me you were on your way back, so I stayed.” Steve shrugged.

“Good, good. Everything else okay though?” Tony could not shake the sense of worry on the unusual event of Steve waiting for him in his own apartment and the slight tension he could notice on his team mate.

“Yes, everything’s fine. No attacks, no threats, none of Clint's pranks gone wrong. I just wanted your opinion on what is basically a — a technology question.”

“Oh, you’ve come to the right place, mon capitaine. Let me impart my borderless wisdom on you. Or is it just your phone again, showing calls you never made? We talked about butt dialing.”

Steve did not even seem to notice the jab. “No, it’s not my phone. It is more a private project of mine. I would not drag you into it if I could avoid it. Nat and Sam have been already exploiting all knowledge and resources they have, but it's not enough so far and I’m afraid we are running out of time.” Steve's anguish was tangible.

“You are looking for the Winter Soldier.” Tony absolved him of making the confession.

Upon the intense frown he received in return, he clarified, “Look, after DC I did some research myself.” An intersection symbol looked really happy compared to Steve right now.” Hey, stop with the glare. We’ve been hunting down Hydra ever since and the team could’ve been in danger if he would’ve been deployed by them.” He made the decision that his personal interest in the story of Sergeant James Barnes was not relevant to this conversation. Or to any other.

“From what I picked up, he has been gone since then. Hydra has definitely no access to him anymore and there haven’t been any incidents involving him. I figured most likely he would be out of the picture on his own accord and left it at that.” He kept telling himself this were good news. Steve should be happy. No need for either of them to be upset.

“From my inquiries at that point it was obvious that I was not the only one looking and I know at least some of Natasha's methods by now.” He could not avoid swallowing sharply at that thought.

“So, you’ve been gathering intelligence without telling anyone. Again.” Steve's face had adopted his righteous Captain America stare by now. Better or worse than the frown? Tony was just too tired to decide either which way.

“As did you.” Tony did not want the retort to sound snappy, but was not sure if he'd managed. Actually, he was sure that he didn’t.

“Bucky is my friend,” Steve said.

Tony took a deep breath. He was able to do this. The probability of not getting into a fight with Steve over this had to be larger than zero. At least mathematically. “I am well aware of that. If I had found anything more substantial, I would’ve let you know. But there was nothing to tell. He knows how to disappear for good.”

Steve continued to stare at him. Tony braced himself for what was surely to come next and felt anger rise from the back of his throat. They were doing this now every few months. Tony did what he always did: work, invent, engineer, research, program and organize ('care' something in the back of his mind supplied before he shoved it aside) until some of it upset Steve or somebody else on the team. And then they would get in the same fight as always. About how this was supposed to be a team, that he could not just hide things from them, that he was selfish, that he was unreliable, that he could make an effort for once, that he did not own them, basically that he was not enough. Or too much. Or both.

Bruce and Rhodey would mostly try to calm down the arguments and let him not get that much heat, but they were both not permanent residents at the tower, Rhodey being deployed a lot of the time and Bruce trying to stay out of Avengers business whenever possible. The frequent arguments certainly were no incentive to stay either.

At some point they would be hurling accusations across the room until somebody walked out, and everything was tense for at least a week. He would apologize to the person who was initially upset by him, trying to fix whatever it was that went wrong. And slowly they would head back to a semi-stable state, where they acted as if they had forgotten about it, avoiding any mention of sensible topics.

“Okay.” That was all Steve said for the moment.

Tony let go some of the tension. Obviously this was not going to escalate. Yet.

“So, there is no way for you to find him at the moment?” Steve's disappointment was undeniable.

Tony smirked. “I did not say that. Even if there is no way to find him yet, I may be able to come up with one.”

“Would you be willing to try that? Not as an official Avengers mission, more as a personal favor?”

Tony could not help but flash his teeth in a grin. “On a scale from parking ticket to switching all CIA data for text files of War and Peace, how illegal am I allowed to go?”

“I would prefer if your inquiries stayed under anyone's radar. And if you could not endanger national security while doing it, that would be a plus.”

“Aw, don't be like that. We had such a good thing going there,” Tony replied. “Now shoo. I already lost enough time today dealing with the Bounty crew. I need to get back to work.”

After Steve had left, Tony got rid of his suit in favor of jeans and an old t-shirt. He thought about eating something, but he had some snacks in the workshop and planned on going down to the cage that night anyway. With the obligatory take-out. He hadn’t yet decided where to order this time.

He sighed inwardly.

Usually it surprised him to some degree, when Steve and the others got upset over what he did. But this? He knew they would get angry. If they ever found out.

Objectively there was nothing wrong, with visiting their guest. It was not dangerous, it was not immoral as far as Tony could tell. And Pepper insisted that he needed to talk to people. Other than her. They had stayed close after their break-up, but she could not be his go-to person any more. They agreed at least on that much.

And it was not his fault that talking to anybody else in the tower was so fucking hard lately, especially if he didn’t want it to end in flames. Talking with Loki had become surprisingly easy. They had taken a few weeks to find a rhythm and establish some ground rules (by trial and error and decidedly not talking about it) but now it was … convenient. He could bitch about his work if he slightly redacted it. He had somebody who was able to dish out insults at a level he appreciated. Somebody who was not wrapped up in everything else.

As every time he had followed this path of thought down the rabbit hole, he decided that it was fine. It was harmless. Nobody seemed to care where he went anyway. He left for the workshop after making a short stop at the wet bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is set in motion now.
> 
> I love to hear from you. Leave a comment or visit me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loraneldin).


	3. Reading Suggestions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony shares something with Loki.

Loki heard the door and stayed on his bed, book in hand. He allowed himself a grin as Stark would be only able to see his back from the other side of the glass. He had expected his late-night visitor as it had been three days since his last visit, and that was the most time he usually stayed away.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Stark said after a few moments.

“Is that why you gave me this book? So you do not have do get creative with your insults?” Loki got up and faced his visitor, who was standing some feet from the glass wall.

“A: I am very creative. B: that wasn't an insult. And C: these stories are a piece of culture common to a large portion of the world and I am determined to have you at least know what you are insulting all the time. Plus, we already have to explain references to Thor permanently and you cannot just go and ask the others.” And with that Stark fell abruptly silent and did not move for some time. He was staring somewhere into the distance while actually looking at a wall only a few feet to his side. This usually meant he would come up with a new suggestion very soon.

It was some moments before he started speaking again without focusing his eyes. “Maybe we could get you set up with some sort of limited internet access? Basically Wikipedia. And Urban Dictionary perhaps. Though it would need to sort out any articles on anything government, current events, Avengers … uh, that list gets too long. Hmm...”

Stark continued to stare in silence.

He kept on insisting to not tell Loki anything concerning the Avengers, lest he might get some leverage out of it. Thor of course never had such inhibitions, being as subtle as, well, thunder, so that Loki was well informed on things going on in the tower. Which did not take away from the more delicate bits and pieces he was able to discern from Stark's supposedly safe topics. But there was always something to be said for getting more. Loki wasn’t even concerned what kind of information he got, as long as it was coming from Stark.

“JARVIS could just scan for certain topics as he does when he does research for me,” Stark muttered.

He had Loki's full attention. Until now he had no possibility to interact with the disembodied voice that Thor and Stark commanded so easily. He knew that JARVIS was not human, but an incorporeal intelligence, that could command almost everything in the tower and was in charge of Tony's life. The one time he had tried to prod Stark in the direction of the topic to get more information, he had given him a wary look before making some excuses to leave earlier than usual. Loki had chided himself for not being more careful.

He had asked Thor the next day, who seemed honestly surprised. “Friend JARVIS, you do not talk to my brother?”

The disembodied voice had been very short in his answer. “Mr. Stark made adjustments to my programming when the cage was installed.”

Thor furrowed his brow in puzzlement. “I will ask Tony about this as JARVIS is a very helpful friend.”

“Thank you, Thor,” came the prompt answer. 

They had never gotten back to that topic, and Thor had not talked to the JARVIS voice any more when visiting Loki. Loki had learned from both incidents and not made any attempts in that direction anymore. But of course his fascination with the topic had only grown.

Stark was meanwhile still babbling, while Loki made sure not to draw any attention back to him as things went in such a favorable direction. “We would just set you up with a StarkPad in kid mode, or trickster-god mode in your case, and have JARVIS pre-scan all site requests.”

Loki had been long enough on Midgard before to know what Stark meant with most of his ramblings. He wondered if this would mean that he would be finally able to get a hold of his own on this entity.

“I might run it by Thor, but he will just be as enthusiastic as for all upgrades we have done until now. So we can also just go and do it.”

The upgrades as Stark chose to call it had been a few furniture pieces. A love seat with a small table had been placed in the anteroom even before Stark had returned with the promised food the first time. Something to this arrangement apparently had not been satisfying and the day after his second visit there was delivery with a high backed chair for the inside of the cage. Stark had explained on his next visit that it was called a lounge chair and Loki did not have to eat at the kiddie table anymore. Loki had to admit that it changed how they talked to each other.

The small bookcase had come with the first of Stark’s reading suggestions. Loki was not sure if the books were there to warrant the case or vice versa. In any case, there was enough space to also fit the books that had been piling beside the bed. The maybe strangest thing had been when Stark had started to complain about the light fixtures and few days later robots had started to refit both sides with new lamps.

Loki was sure the interior of his cage was now nicer to look at for Stark. How comforting. 

Stark's watch started to vibrate and pulled him out of his musings about tablets and site requests. Loki saw him giving it an irritated look before grumbling, “JARVIS, what’s the problem? I’m right here. Just talk to me.”

The voice sounded even more neutral than usual. “Due to my current configuration this project would not be possible in this form.”

Stark furrowed his brow for a split second before blatantly fixing Loki with a stare. “Right.” There was a level of scrutiny back in Stark's face which Loki had not seen for some time now. His eyes did a quick sweep of the glass barrier of Loki’s confinement.

It wasn’t a disappointment, just another challenge to Loki’s effort.

He decided to best not have more of his interest in this topic show. “You will need to keep on explaining your awful humor yourself. A tragic fate. Did you bring food?”

Stark's stare lingered a bit longer before turning to the bag in his left hand. He briefly shook his head as to get rid of something.

“Laotian. Larb, it’s one of my favorites. Laos is in between Thailand and Vietnam. Also a long and changeful history.” Tony ordered JARVIS to open the doors on his side of the airlock. He got his own two containers from the bag and placed the rest inside.

After Loki got the bag from the other side he faced Tony again. “The food that Thor brings is not half as good, but it usually comes without a lecture. So, I am somewhat torn.” Loki succeeded to draw a slight huff from Tony with his mock annoyed face.

“Just trying to give you some new ideas where to wreak havoc next time. Or maybe just spent some time having a vacation. Maybe fifty to a hundred years. Then you can ruin somebody else's peace of mind.”

They settled in their seats on their respective sides of the glass.

“Already tired of me?” Loki purred with a smirk. He did not expect Tony's sigh.

“I’m tired, all right. Getting down here is usually the highlight of my day and that should be enough to make us both cringe.” Loki ignored the latter half, meant to establish distance that had been melting for weeks now.

“Things upstairs are not going to your liking?” he inquired instead.

Tony was carding his plastic fork aimlessly through his food, obviously trying to decide what he was able to share.

“Actually, things are better than they have been for quite some time. Somebody has asked for my help, basically trusting me with … a lot.” Loki knew better than to interrupt once he got Stark talking.

“But of course, the thing is private, and the others do not know about it and should not know about me doing this, but half of them know anyway, and I just don't know if it’s a facade to cover this up or if this somebody is really even more pissed at me in all other situations.”

He finally started to shovel some of the food in his mouth.

“I mean I did not expect this project to make everything magically better, but I am trying here because he asked me to. I know I can be hard to stand, but that should get me some credit, right?”

Loki bit the inside of his lip hard to not interrupt. Tony wasn’t finished and there was more there. He confined all his discontent objections to the back of his mind for now. 

“I did agree to return to the consultant role, not being a full-time Avenger. But he won’t let me consult. I skip most of the strategic meetings already. It should not be so unbearable to have me around for practice occasionally.”

Loki kept on eating in silence, waiting what else Tony might spit out. It was the most he had said about the Avengers since he started coming down to the cage. However, Loki didn’t really care about that part.

“So, what happened today?” he carefully nudged after Tony had been attacking his food in silence for a while.

“What do you mean?” Tony growled back.

Loki gave him a calculating look. “Your mood is erratic even for you. You already spaced out twice this evening. You tore me down without getting a good joke out of it and then you unduly berate yourself. What has happened?”

Tony searched his face before taking a deep breath. “You know I cannot tell you about what the Avengers are up to.”

Loki held his gaze. He knew it was a risk. It came indistinguishably close to the topics they were not talking about. And there was nothing much to gain from it. Nothing he could have explained. It felt right somehow. He had an — an intuition. Intuition was the word. “I am not asking about the Avengers; I am asking about you.”

Tony averted his eyes and let his hand tap the arm rest while biting his lips. When he spoke again the words were just barely more than a mumble, “I was asked to stop coming to the training sessions altogether.”

“Why?” Loki felt the sharpness in his tone only after he spoke.

Tony grunted. “I did not get a formal discharge. He just said he would consider it preferable, if I concentrated on my tech as I am only a consultant.”

Loki did not need to ask who he was. “Did you tell the others?”

Tony laughed with dead eyes, making heat rise in Loki's throat. “They were there. Well, most of them. There was no objection, most of them signaled approval in some way. It actually did not seem to rouse their interest very much.” Tony shrugged.

Loki never had considered the Avengers fools, not since New York. He had heard a lot about their missions from Thor. And their efforts seemed to be honorable (although Loki might be not the best judge of that) as well as smartly executed (of which he considered himself a great judge). But alienating their strongest asset in the field and behind the scenes seemed more stupid than he had thought possible even for humans.

Tony's body was maybe as fragile as typical for their species, but his mind in combination with his spirit made for a fine weapon and armor. And then there were of course the fruits of that combination: money, power, and the Iron Man suit.

“I already skip most team nights to work on either SI or Avengers tech. If they remember to tell me about them, that is. I didn’t think that I was that much of a pest to be around.”

Loki snickered. “At least you are not as dull as the rest of them. Otherwise I would need to use one of the plastic utensils to tear my own eardrums.”

Tony shot him a skeptical but bemused look. Loki counted that as success.

“So, maybe you should stop building stuff for the ungrateful lot. You could do better things with your time. For instance, come up with a better lecture then 'Laos had a long and changeful history'. You're disgracing yourself with your performance.”

Tony looked at him with an up-drown eyebrow but was unable to hide a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After somebody explained to me how to look up how many subscriptions this fic has, I'm really blown away by the resonance. I hope you all enjoy the story so far and future chapters are to your liking. :)
> 
> I'm also grateful for every comment, short or long.
> 
> See you on Friday for another installement of 'But where is Bucky?'


	4. Better Off Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha asks Tony about his progress with their project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we are continuing with the search for Bucky, I wanted to clear one thing up to keep you from wondering:  
> In this AU the Winter Soldier did not kill Tony's parents. They will have enough to deal with as is. ;)

Tony heard the door to his lab opening. He had cut the music when he had started to review the results of their latest sweep. As JARVIS had not changed the display to an innocuous project to cover up what they were doing as soon as the elevator reached the floor, the visitor could be only one of three people.

“Ah, Natasha. I thought, I didn’t hear footsteps.”

She only gave him a curt nod. “Tony.”

“May I ask to which completely un-creepy reason I owe the honor of you showing up here?” He knew the answer but was not in the mood to ask right off the bat how high he should be jumping today.

“Just checking in on our private project. My sources haven’t produced anything new lately and maybe you have something I can use.” Her expression was pleasant. Calculated but pleasant. So at least they were playing nice.

“Last sweep of the European servers came up empty. Looks the same for India and Russia. Meaning: no government agency has seen anything or heard of Carmen Sandiego in ninety-five percent of the world. Which is good for him and should buy us some time. If you haven't heard anything, anti-government bodies are not on his trail either.” He tried a slight smile but was met with Natasha's scowl.

“That will not help us find him,” she reprimanded.

Apparently, he was not able to stay on her good side. So, why the hell keep trying. “Which just may be exactly what he wants.”

Her face slid into a deliberate neutral expression within an instant. “You are unsure if this is the right thing to do?”

Tony knew she was basically interrogating him now, but he was not planning on leaving something unsaid anyway. Most likely it would get directly back to Steve. Good.

“I was going into this with the impression that we wanted to help Steve's old pal who got problems with the proportions of a blue whale sized horse. But, plot twist, he is pretty good with monster horses. Basically, built and trained to ride one. And he seems to want to keep this one. And if he comes and asks for help building a stable, I am all in, but, if he just wants to be alone with his four-legged friend, who am I to shoot it.”

He coughed slightly, considering if he needed to try again, when Natasha said, “But he cannot tell us, can he. If we want to know he is okay alone out there, we will need to ask him. And we can’t ask him if we don’t know where he is. So, you could invest some of that energy you spend on your bizarre metaphors and try to actually find him.”

Tony took a moment before answering, “And when we find him, we will knock on his door with balloons and cookies and ask him if he needs help moving?”

“More or less,” Natasha said.

“And if he says no, we leave our card and eat ice cream on the couch in our bathrobes all day?” He was not buying it. “And what if he says, he wants our help? I can get him the best lawyers, and nobody will know where he is unless he wants them to, but Steve has been on the ‘redeem my bestest friend’ train since quite some time now. Will he be able to wait until Barnes gives the word?” He managed at least not to state his clear-cut opinion to the last question.

Natasha did not show any reaction. “Find him and we will take care of collecting him. You don't have to worry about the rest.”

Tony could only wonder how she managed to be so precisely wrong.

She left him alone with this train of thought. Natasha, and Steve for that matter, considered him to only be consulting on finding James Barnes. He should be using his tech to find anything that might be hidden to other sources, explore the whys and what ifs. And there was no question that Rogers knew Barnes best. But that had been a long time ago and all the files Tony had gotten for this side project said that a lot had happened since then. And if Tony was in his place, he wasn’t sure that he would want all that dragged into the light. Hell, he had worked hard to keep certain things under wraps after Afghanistan. But Rogers could be stubborn as a mule when it came to other viewpoints, especially if they were more gray than black and white.

Which was a constant sore spot between them. Steve Rogers was righteousness incarnated, which had always impressed Tony, even if he would never have admitted to it. But he also expected others to rise to his level and Tony couldn't. Not that he didn't try. But somebody had to pick up the dirty work at times. And think about less savory topics. For instance, what would wait for James Barnes once he would return to the United States (officially). Tony was sure they could handle the government, the press and popular opinion. But there would be a fall out. There always was.

Tony had no doubt that Steve wanted the best for James Barnes, but he was not sure he could actually see what it was. From Barnes’ viewpoint he could understand if he would want to stay hidden. He might not even know that he could find help with Steve and the team. But to tell him that he could they had to find him first. Natasha was right about that much. But Barnes needed to decide his future for himself and when they found him that option would be forever gone: To stay hidden from everybody. If they could find him once… 

Sometimes one was better off alone. It was just easier. Until one night you really needed to talk to someone to get out of your head and ended up with a non-friendship with your kind-of-maybe-nemesis. Tony had no idea how that had happened.

Point being Barnes might not be ready to trust any help offered. Especially not after seventy years of Hydra. Even something that could be good like a prosthesis was fucked up with these guys. Not to insult the engineering integral to the arm. It was more advanced than Tony had ever seen in this field (and he had done extensive research after AIM and Extremis). But the execution was a different matter.

Thinking about it, there might be an angle worth looking at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short update today. I hope you like it anyway.
> 
> As always I'm happy about comments, either here or on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loraneldin).


	5. Almost Comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor visits Loki.

Loki was scrolling through the recommended YouTube videos list, which must have been based on some pre-selection Tony had made. Most of the thumbnails had cats in them. The first one he opened was a series were different cats pushed breakable objects off ledges while staring at the camera. 

“Tony has gifted you with one of his wonderful Stark Pads,” Thor boomed happily.

Loki shut down the screen and put the tablet on the nightstand. Surprised he realized that he was looking forward to continue his exploration of the device later. He sighed inwardly. Being confined like this obviously had a numbing effect on his intellect.

He got up from the bed and went to sit down in the lounge chair close to the front of his cage.

“Yes, though he spent quite some time making sure I do not use it to annihilate the city. Seems to be an inbuilt element on the standard model.” Loki did not expect the grin from his brother as answer to his quip. “You seem in good spirits.”

Thor nodded contently, while looking around the cell and its adjacent visiting area. “I like the changes Tony has made in here. I think you are much more comfortable than when I brought you to stay.”

Loki chuckled. “You are still not able to say incarcerated?”

Thor scowled at this.

“Imprisoned? Impounded? Caged?” He enjoyed mocking Thor. At least that hadn’t changed.

The look on his brother’s face went stern.

“The way Father handled your — punishment was inadequate. You helped me save Jane. He could have seen that there was a different way.” His scowl grew. “But you did not leave it at that, you returned to Asgard and provoked more retaliation. And Midgard had not forgotten your last visit either.” He took a moment before he continued, “I still think this the best place for you for the time being. I am allowed to be your guardian as long as I ensure you do not return to Asgard or pose a threat to any of the other realms. I’d rather have you by my side again in time and this is the only way I know how.”

They both stayed silent after that. Loki knew that it there had been a lot of people interested in having a part of him. He had been most surprised that Odin had not insisted for him to go back to his cell in Asgard. Maybe he decided, as Stark had put it, that he was Thor's problem now. Loki was sure that the tension in his jaw upon that thought was contempt for his supposed father and nothing else.

Thor's wallowing, however,was tiering. So, he tried to go back to the beginning of their conversation.

“Tony says he will make a selection of music for me, so that I, in his words, 'do not end up listening to some of the garbage out there because I do not know any better'.”

He had calculated right, Thor was back to grinning by the end of his statement. “Yes, he has very strong feelings regarding music. I heard him discuss this vividly with Clint many times. As I understand Clint is very much in favor of the garbage.”

Loki could not hide a smile at that either. Although he wondered if these good-natured quarrels were still occurring. Tony did seldom talk about the team, and, if he did, it was mostly not sounding quite as harmonic and brotherly, as Thor did make it seem.

Thor continued, “Tony has really done a lot to make your life here more agreeable. I know he was down here a few times, to see what you needed. Although he always declines when I ask him if he wants to join me in my visits.”

Loki wondered what his living conditions looked like to Thor. There had been more upgrades since the love seat, the chair and the lighting. 

First was a winged chair with an ottoman which Tony declared ideal for reading. Apart from the books he kept on bringing along he had also tried with puzzle games. Little trinkets that were supposed to go together or come a part in some way that wasn’t apparent. Loki had gotten them out of the airlock and left them on the table. That he never sat at anymore. That evening they had mostly eaten in silence and Tony had left soon. The next day a robot came to remove the table and the abandoned games with it. When Tony had asked that night he told him not to bother replace it.

“But you need a surface to…” Tony’s thinking seemed to trail off on the hunt for a thing he would do with a table. “Do you need pen and paper? Quill and parchment? You know to write things down?”

“For whom?” Loki didn’t say anymore. Stark was smart enough to figure out that he would not note anything down that was for himself as there was no way he could actually control who read it.

“Well, what do you want then?” Tony was blundering on in an obvious attempt at not repeating the stiff silence of the night before.

And that’s how Loki started to make suggestions. He didn’t ask for things, but, if Tony asked about what would be suitable or which of two things he preferred, he did not see a reason to not influence these decisions.

The upgrades had become more frequent too. Almost every time Tony came down he had something new in tow. Sometimes it was just a book and sometimes a sideboard for the visitor room. One evening, he talked about getting a bar installed, so he could have a drink after dinner. Loki's comment, that he at least would have it after and not instead of dinner, caused a somewhat ashamed look on Tony's face and he never mentioned it again.

The love seat had been moved to the back of the visitor part after the first night Tony had fallen asleep on it. The next day he brought a much more comfortable and much larger sofa. Just in case he would nod off again. Not that he planned to, mind you.

And through the steady adding Loki’s abode now looked much more like an apartment then a cell. Without the panes of glass between them it could have looked almost as if they were comfortable around one another.

Several emotions seemed to run over Thor's face before he began to speak again. “You could just talk to him when he comes to check on you again. You were always so good captivating people.” He looked like a distressed little dog when he looked in Loki's face. “It would be good for you. Having someone else.”

He ground his teeth. Tony obviously did not share with Thor the amount of time he spent down here. Of course, Loki hadn't either, guarding as much information as possible. But Tony had been searching him out, not the other way around. He had not sent him away, as this was an opportunity. And he certainly did not oppose the upgrades that they had made. He had suggested an amount of them himself. Stark was amusing, he was not denying that.

But Thor was suggesting that he might need the human’s pitiful attention. Something hot was pooling in his stomach. He turned this heat outwards, as he felt it would otherwise burn him up from the inside.

“You suggest I seduce Stark with my sweet words as to secure my increased living conditions? So, you can saunter off to Asgard again when Odin calls?” He knew that was not even close to what Thor had said, but he would rather have a nasty fight over nothing than the talk they were venturing towards before. “So you can hand of my leash to Stark and can be sure that I don’t bite the hand that feeds me?”

Thor sighed. “I will not leave any more than I have to. You will not lack any physical amenities if I am gone.” He wrung his hands. “And I really do not care for you manipulating Tony. I think you two might have liked each other if you had been given the chance.”

The burning pit in Loki's stomach did keep on churning, but he just clenched his teeth, left his seat, and started to pace as far as the round cage and his increased amount of furniture allowed him to.

“Because you know me just that well,” he snarled. The other part he did not say out loud. Thor didn't know Tony either. He did not know about the amount of time he spent down here and not about the reasons he had, for buying half the things in and around the cage. Loki knew these things. Only he.

“We might not be as close as we were as children, but I do know you brother. You might prefer your own company to most other people, but even you need people around you. But of course, I will not force you if you do not want Tony around.”

He stopped and looked sharply at Thor. His face was a display of utter neutrality, but he could have sworn that his sudden letting go of the topic was aimed precisely.

“I don't care if he is around or not. But I will not grovel before your new shield brothers for scraps and favors.”

“As you wish brother. I will not say another word.” Thor's face did not betray his words, but Loki could not shake the feeling that he knew that Loki was not as decided on the topic as he would have him believe.

He sagged back down in the lounge chair and stared at the floor. Why did this rile him up as it did? He had received a lot of favorable things from Tony. But he was not at the man's mercy. It bore repeating, Tony came to him. Insisted on upgrading the cage. Made himself comfortable in Loki's presence. Spent more and more time here.

And with the state of Tony's friendship with the team Loki was doing him a favor. If there was somebody else around for Tony to talk to, he might not be visiting at all.

Loki did not like this thought. He didn't like it at all. But just because Stark was the best chance he had at finding a way out of his confinement. That was the plan. Not becoming the pet of a bored hero.

Thor's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He had completely forgotten about him. “I guess I leave you for today.”

Loki's gaze trailed behind him when he exited, but his thoughts were already back to racing each other, futilely trying to catch up with his lashing emotions. 

-

Later the same night Tony strolled in with pasta and salads, sparing him a lecture as they had already covered anything from the Roman Empire to the second World War. Loki figured Tony just liked Italian food a lot.

It seemed just too easy to settle back into their comfortable banter. Making snide remarks on whatever Tony was sharing about the world outside and discussing what would be the best strategy to win over this trade partner or that government official. He was getting some information from it surely, but, if he was honest with himself, was that still his only aim?

Tony disrupted his musings. “You seem terribly scatterbrained tonight, strawberry sprinkles. You know I hate not being the center of attention.”

Loki could not contain a grin. Maybe this was not so bad. Yes, he was not at all times working on getting out of here anymore, but he had never been good with working towards one specific goal in a linear manner. He just twisted opportunities in his favor and waited for the fall out, while manipulating something or someone somewhere else. Sowing seeds of mischief and waiting for what would bear fruit. And if he could amuse himself while doing that, where was the problem?

“Maybe you should try to be more interesting then?” Loki actually laughed at the 'How dare you?' expression on Tony's face. “I have not received any presents in twenty-four hours. I am used to a higher standard by now.”

“Telling me that I have spoiled you is not a good incentive to give you more stuff.”

“Should I be gushing about the unbelievable wonder that your Stark Pad is? I mean it is pretty nice, given the kind of primitive world it sprung from.”

Tony just looked at him with a smirk that said he was not going for the bait. If that wasn't a challenge.

“I shouldn’t insult your creation. Really, it isn’t at all bad. It was quite amusing as these things go. It might be actually useful to somebody who has to rely on such a thing, I guess.” Loki was pleased with the way Tony was trying not to show how satisfied he was with the compliment because they both knew Loki was playing it down on purpose. “But of course, you created it, so most likely it is copied from some alien technology you were able to acquire somewhere.”

Now, Tony looked honestly outraged. “Are you saying I steal my tech? I have you know this is one hundred percent me. If any of you alien overlords have something better, bring it on. But without magic, you would still be wading through horse shit on Asgard.”

Loki just snickered at him.

And after the shortest display of confusion Tony chimed in. “Okay, you got me there.”

“Don't I always.”

Yes, he could do this for a while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Bucky!
> 
> I'm struggling a bit with this fic at the moment (working on chapters 11 and 12). I still plan on finishing it anyhow, but your comments really do help. _*bats eyelashes*_


	6. If You Let Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wonderful brokenEisenglas has beta-ed this chapter (and the next ones coming up). So many thanks go to her.  
> I noticed, I never thanked Nix (shame on me), who read an earlier version of this fic and provided feedback and cheering. A big thank you to them, too.

Tony was going over the data again, searching frantically for any mistakes he might have made. He already had told JARVIS to call in Steve, Natasha and Sam. If he had fucked it up, he’d better find it before they came to the workshop. He turned over the steps that let him there.

Natasha had helped with some simple profiling; basically sorting out locations that Barnes would seek out to lay low, narrowing their field of search. Tony combined that with information he picked up from Hydra files the Avengers recovered at one of their missions. From what he had derived, the prosthetic was in constant need of upkeep. It was a botch-up job if Tony had ever seen one. Yes, the performance may have been astounding, but Barnes would need to seek out certain drugs and replacement materials constantly. This was actually not in the files, which were Hydra commending themselves for a job well done, but Tony understood what they did and what it would mean to be relying on this particular piece of tech. The thought made him unconsciously rub his chest at a not-so-long forgotten ache.

All of the third-tier engineers and low-life doctors that had given Barnes his new arm could go to hell in Tony's opinion.

This had let him to monitor in-cash sales of the parts and cross referenced them with reported disappearances of the drugs. This still had gotten them a few hits, for which he had JARVIS monitor surveillance footage. JARVIS was able to actually look for somebody and not just run a facial recognition algorithm and he was able to do it with hundreds of feeds at the same time. This morning he had found something and asked Tony to confirm. And there he was, face always hidden from the cameras, but Tony had no doubt that this was Steve's lost puppy. The way he was always just at the wrong angle for the cameras to pick up his features, was the most certain give away.

Sam was the first one to arrive. “Stark, I hope for your sake that this is not a drill. JARVIS asking me to come see you immediately while I am showering will give me nightmares for the rest of my life.”

Tony chuckled. “JARVIS, please make a note of that and put in a file titled 'Ways to creep out Sam'.”

“Should I store it with the files of the same name for the rest of the team, Sir?”

“Whatever makes you happy.”

“Very, well Sir.”

Sam was shaking his head. “You are a sick bastard. You know that, right?”

At that Steve and Natasha entered the workshop. Steve didn’t waste time with small talk. “What’ve you found?”

Straight to the point, one of the things Tony liked about Cap in mission mode. “Suit up, boys and girls, we are going to South America.”

“We are going nowhere, before you explain what you found.” Natasha was spoiling his fun at the reveal which brought back his nervousness from before.

He shortly explained the way he chose the places for JARVIS to monitor and pulled up the footage from this morning.

For a moment all life seemed to drain from Steve's face. Then he settled back to a neutral concentrated look and fixated Tony. “How long ago was that?”

JARVIS answered before Tony could open his mouth, “Fifty minutes. I have not identified him on any other camera around the building complex since then.”

Steve took only a moment to contemplate the information. “With the Quinjet we will be down there in three hours. Sam, Nat, get ready. We are leaving in twenty minutes. Tony, you stay here and keep an eye on the scene. I want to know anything that is going on down there.”

Tony felt his hackles raising. “JARVIS can deliver any information we need to the jet or the suit. I am going with you.”

“No, you are not.” Steve did not even seem to be surprised at his rebuttal. “Sam, Nat, go ahead. I will be on time.”

Tony did wait until he was alone with Steve before snapping, “What the hell Steve? We have been searching for him for weeks. If he spooks we might not find him again. And now you will risk that because… because... Why, actually? Why are you not letting me help?”

Steve sighed. “You are helping. By staying here and doing what I just told you. Three will already be a lot to do this quietly and Iron Man is not the first choice for a stealth mission.”

Tony shortly thought to ask for what Iron Man was still “first choice” but grimly thought otherwise.

“Can I trust you to have our backs on this?” Steve looked at him sternly.

“Of course, I will. It would just be easier, if you would actually let me though.” Tony snarled back.

Steve turned with a slight shake of his head and left the workshop.

Tony tried not to think about how he would survive the next three hours without destroying something or going on a binge. Instead, he poured his energy into screening the mission site for anything and everything. Again.

-

Collecting Barnes had gone more smoothly than Tony had expected which just meant nobody died. Steve had insisted to go in first without the cowl and shield, wearing an unmarked stealth version of his suit. Tony had insisted to have this version for every new suit he designed for Steve and hoped that after that day the discussions as why that was necessary would stop. Just because Steve wanted to keep a low profile, he should not be going in with outdated gear.

Although it had not made any apparent difference. Barnes had attacked on sight. Still Steve had insisted for Natasha and Sam to stand down while he tried to remind his friend of who he was. From what Tony was able to hear through the comm link connecting him to the field team, the fight was for the most part evenly matched. He could not hear anything that was coming from Barnes but they were obviously talking as he heard Steve say things like “I can’t do that Bucky.” and “It’s gonna be okay.” He had almost felt compelled to believe Steve had a well-developed plan when he ordered Sam and Natasha on some superhero version of an fool’s errand away from the fight to a distance where they would not be able to back him up or extract him if anything went wrong. And to Tony's horror both went.

He yelled at them through their comms to not fucking dare obey these orders but to no avail. As soon as they were out of reach, he heard Steve declaring, he was done fighting Bucky, and Tony was pretty sure that the impeccable idiot had lowered his hands, just standing there without cover.

Tony heard himself screaming at Natasha and Sam to get their asses back in there, his knuckles white from grabbing the edge of a bench, hearing Steve groan from obviously being beaten to pulp until his communicator went silent. Tony started yelling commands at JARVIS, one less rational than the next, as there was nothing they could do from thousands of miles away with no tech to control at the site.

It took what felt like forever, until he heard Sam say, “It’s okay, we’re clear.” Whatever that was supposed to mean.

It was evening when the Quinjet arrived back at the tower. Steve had ordered their way to his apartment clear, bringing Barnes there without any interference. He insisted to stay there, sending Sam and Natasha back up to the penthouse. Steve also refused medical treatment, claiming that he had nothing that would not be fixed by his own healing within the next days.

And so, the day ended terribly anticlimactic, without seeing hide or hair of Steve or Barnes.

Tony had done about everything he could think of that could be done in the situation. He had updated the security protocols for the tower to include Barnes, ordered some spare clothing for him for the first few days, had put extra medical supplies in the hall to Steve's apartment before their arrival, prepared a press statement if there should be anything leaking through from the mission (although he was pretty sure, there wouldn't be. They had managed to limit the fight to the building, not getting in any one's way), and he had made sure JARVIS was calculating for another super soldier metabolism when stocking the fridges and pantries. Then he had dealt with the passive aggressive answers of the AI, who was not amused by the implication he would not have thought of that himself. Also he had thought for the umpteenth time about installing some hidden surveillance features in Steve's suits. He didn’t do it for the umpteenth time as well, as he was sure Natasha would notice it immediately and both of them would give him hell.

After he exhausted everything he could do at the moment, he gave in and poured himself the first drink of the day, had JARVIS make some more notes about things they might need in a few days or weeks and went back to one of his current projects: safety updates for the War Machine armor and how to hide from the army that this was mostly a secret back door for JARVIS and him to keep Rhodey safe in a worst-case scenario.

He had worked on that for hours, when the rumbling of his stomach made it impossible to concentrate. He had already checked the workshop fridge twice and was sure that it would not have magically filled itself, if he just checked once more. Reluctantly he left the floor to head for the penthouse with its properly filled pantry and fridge. On the way up, he thought about the things that needed his attention next. There had been some attempts to attack the tower’s system that JARVIS had recorded and classified as a minor threat, but he would need to get a look at it himself to allay his worries.

When he reached the Penthouse floor, he saw lights already shining from the kitchen. He shortly thought to turn around, but then he would still have no food and there was no real reason to avoid the others, at least none he could have given words to. When he entered, Barnes was sitting at the counter with a bowl of cereal. He knew that this should startle him, but with the time he had spent searching for the man in the last two months, he could not shake a sense of familiarity. He sharply reminded himself that Barnes could not be expected to feel the same way.

“Good morning,” he offered while going straight for the fridge. He rummaged around a bit, found some pizza cartons and pulled them out.

“Hey”, came the tardy answer. Turning around, he found Barnes mustering him with a questioning look.

“I’m Tony.” Yeah, he could have started with that.

Barnes mouth slid into a smile. “Yeah, I figured.”

Tony opened the boxes one after another until he found one that pleased him. He put it down on the counter so he was facing Barnes while finally having something to eat.

After a long moment of them both chewing in silence, Tony asked, “So, where's Steve?”

Barnes gave him only a quick glance before returning his focus back to his food. “Asleep downstairs.” He poked his cereal with the spoon, as if testing if it was mushy enough. “I haven't killed him, if you are asking that.”

Tony knew he should not find Barnes's response funny and it wasn’t. But with this day developing as it did, a snicker broke out of him like a pressure release. He answered, "Oh, no. Definitely not what I was asking, Terminator. But, he doesn't really need help with that, does he?"

Barnes’ head flicked back up, tilting slightly to the side with raised eyebrows and a second smile, which went lifeless after a moment. “It seems some things just don’t change.”

While they went back to their respective meals, Tony thought about telling Barnes that he had access to all common floors in the tower, but he obviously already knew that. He thought about offering him an apartment of his own once he was settled but did not want to insinuate a need to separate him from Steve. He finally gave up and just went along with the silence for once.

When he had enough, he put the remaining boxes back into the fridge. Before heading to the elevator, he broke their silence one last time. “If you ever need something done about that glorified monkey-wrench of yours or anything else, just let me know. You'll find me in the workshop.”

“I'll find you in the workshop at any given time? Even this late?” Barnes asked with a dubious undertone.

Tony shortly thought about where else he could be found regularly.  
“Just try your luck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four more chapters to go in what I consider the first act of this story.
> 
> I'm still very excited over every comment this story gets.


	7. Prod at It Until It Explodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky visits Tony in the workshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again a big thank you to brokenEisenglas for beta.

JARVIS lowering the volume of his music alerted Tony that somebody had entered the workshop. He ordered him to cut the music completely, while he finished soldering the wire he was working on. When he turned, Barnes was standing at the end of the bench, looking curiously at the bots that were working on their own project.

“Hey, Barnes. Does this mean I finally can get my hands dirty on that can opener?” Tony asked with a smirk.

Barnes didn’t come closer, still taking in the space around him. Tony got that. It was a lot when you saw it for the first time. 

Slightly distracted he answered “Yeah, no engineering before the third date. And you could start by calling me Bucky.”

“Alright, Bucky … But cereal and pizza in the kitchen totally counts as having dinner.“ 

“Cheapskate.”

They locked eyes and there was the glint again that Tony had seen in the kitchen the other night. If that was a typical James Barnes reaction, this arm could become his new favorite project.

He made a small gesture with his head towards the appendix in question. “Flirting aside, may I take a look?”

“Could we perhaps— Tell me first what you think you could do with it?” Bucky's brow furrowed.

“Sure, the question is, what you want me to do with it.” Tony shrugged. “I have some documentation from the Hydra engineers who built it, but I would guess that they made changes that never appeared anywhere. If not, it wouldn’t be working anymore.”

He noticed Bucky's frown deepen and tried to hurry to give him some good news. “Of course, there are some obvious improvements to be done. We could rebuild some of the circuitry, get rid of the need to replace the capacitors so regularly.”

To Tony's dismay Bucky looked outright shocked at that. “That was in the files? That wasn't supposed— The scientists and handlers were constantly trying to hide that from the higher-ups.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “In the files this thing was the holy grail of engineering. But the schematics and description make it obvious that they have massive heat management problem when you look closely, which I did, and aren’t a total moron, which I’m not.” He made a short pause for effect. “It was the bread crumbs we had been searching for when looking for you.”

Bucky scowled and took a step back, squinting. “That's how you found me?”

Tony wanted to smack himself in the face. “He didn't tell you.”

Bucky took another step back.

Tony took about half a second to decide to have the conversation Steve didn’t seem to have bothered with in the last week. “It was the capacitors and the additional neurotransmitters.”

Bucky looked like Tony had landed a blow to his gut.

On a hunch Tony added, “Combined with some super spy intel and a one-of-a-kind AI. This is nothing anybody else would have been able to do. Nobody else could have used that. We are just that good.” Tony tried with a grin. It didn’t seem to relax Bucky, but at least he didn’t look like he was going to run any more.

Tony continued softer, “And we can fix both, the need for capacitors and the nerve connection issue. If you want to disappear again, you will be able to.” He was not sure if he was guessing correctly at the source of Bucky's uneasiness.

The sergeant nodded once, but the tension was still tangible.

Tony was more or less sure that this was one of the things, he was again not supposed to do and that it would most likely blow up in his face in the future. But that's how he made stuff, prod at it until it explodes and rebuild from there. “If you want to run and you want to let me know in advance, you can make it easier for yourself. Gear, money, people. Just tell me what you need, okay? No strings, or tracking devices for that matter, attached.”

Bucky's eyebrows were raised in disbelief. “You would let loose an unstable serial killer on the general public again? Why?”

Tony shook his head making a tsk-tsk sound. “I’m pretty sure you do not qualify as a serial killer. As for motive and so on, and then you seem pretty stable to me. Killed anyone in the last forty-eight hours?”

Bucky did not react to his attempt at banter. He did not say anything for a while. Finally, as if coming up from a deep dive within his brain, he searched Tony's face. After another moment, he started to speak slowly, “I don't think I am stable. There is actually no way I am. I haven’t been… with Hydra for almost a year now. And I am not—” His hands started to clench as if to grip the right words. “I am not the man I am supposed to be? Not the man I was. Not the man Steve was searching for. Not completely”

Tony did not really want to point out the obvious, but there was nobody else there to do it. “But you are also not the Winter Soldier. You did not go back. You ran and made sure Hydra would not get to you.”

That seemed to agitate Bucky. His next words were brusque, their anguish tangible. “But the moment a handler says the magic words this all goes to shit. Nothing has changed. Hydra is in me and sometimes when I wake up, I still expect them to be there. I am surprised when they are not, when there are no orders, no control. One moment I am laughing with Steve and the next I know that they will wipe this memory away as they did before.”

After that the tension seemed to very suddenly leave his body and he slumped down on a stool next to Tony. “I still don't remember everything that Steve tells me about. A lot has come back, but there are black holes where I am sure there is supposed to be something. There are also holes from the time with Hydra, but I know that I don't want that back.”

Tony waited a moment before he answered, “We will not let Hydra or anyone else get to you. You are basically in the most Hydra-proof facility there is with the Avengers as bouncers. And nobody knows you are here which is even better. It’s obvious that Steve is happy you — whoever that person is now — are here. He didn't level me with a ‘You-are-inappropriate’-glare all week.”

Bucky gave him a questioning look.

“What? Don't tell me you have never seen it. I will let you know when it comes back, should be any minute now.” Tony was relieved to finally see a smile return to Bucky's face.

“And everything else we will sort out. You don't have to do that alone. I’m sure it would take the end of the world to get Steve away from you again. I’m surprised he’s not here right now, telling you to not listen to me, as I’m a pretty bad influence. — You can count on him. And you got me now, too. I fix things.”

“You think you can fix me?” Bucky said softly.

Tony couldn't hide a sad smile.

“I don't think you are broken. In time, if you want to, we can get you somebody to talk to. Professionally I mean?”

Bucky nodded in understanding and the shook his head.”I don’t think that— that—”

When the loss of words started to frustrate him enough that he was balling up fists, Tony cut in, “You don’t have to have an answer now — or ever. Not for me or anyone else. Just tell me if you want to see someone.”

Bucky relaxed his hands and nodded again and Tony realized that for all the misery this talk held for Bucky he had not once looked away from Tony.

“But I can help you fix other stuff, if you want. Like that arm,” Tony motioned at it. “What would you want to do about it?”

Bucky's face was unreadable. “Can you remove it?”

Tony had not expected that. “Technically, yes, but why?” His face surely was showing some form of dismay. He did not want to be selfish and think about all the ideas he had for that arm, that wouldn’t come to pass, but he did.

“It's just another part that is not me. It led you to me, practically betrayed me. It's just another part of Hydra. They made it so that I could kill people.” Bucky sounded exhausted.

Tony did not lose a second. “I could build you a new one. That would then be part of me. On you. Which I think is a good start.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Bucky snorted. “I will think about that.”

Tony grinned. “Late at night, when Steve's asleep? Or in the shower?”

Bucky laughed. “Okay, stop. You can build me a new arm if that keeps you from imagining me naked.”

“Keeping me from it? It's my excuse.” Yes! Tony was giddy with his success and Bucky’s laugh was a good soundtrack for it. “Tell you what. Just come by in the next few days, and we start planning. I might need some more input from you before working on a first design.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy about all your comments :)
> 
> I will be traveling on Friday but hope I will manage to post on time. Otherwise it will be Saturday. I hope you all have a great week.


	8. Isn’t That Better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony helps Loki with his insomnia.

“So, you are still awake.” Tony had tried not to make too much noise after he had managed to wake up a disgruntled looking Loki the other night.

He came to a halt some feet away from Loki, who had gotten up and was also standing, his posture a little more rigid than the situation called for.

“I don't fall asleep that easily.” He seemed displeased with the topic.

“That is nothing to brag about. I would probably sell my soul to be able to just nod off.” Recently he mostly stayed at the workshop until he could not think straight and then crashed on the couch in there for some hours. Once or twice a week he would catch closer to six or seven hours on the couch down here. Maybe three times.

“I don't think it is preferable to just let your conscience slip that easily when you might be interrupted.” Tony did not know if Loki was being polite or if he thought Tony would not pick up on what he meant. 'When you are actually a prisoner not in control of who walks in on you.'

“If there is nothing you can do about it, you might as well. You need to sleep at some point.” He knew he would be wary, too, but at the same time he found it unsettling that Loki might be pushing himself, just because Tony might catch him sleeping again. He told himself later that it was only this concern that led to the next sentence.

“You know you can always jerk off to help with the relaxing part. That usually helps me.” He took a moment to realize what he just said before blundering on. “There might actually be some interesting science behind this. There are theories that the release of particular hormones is linked to being able to fall asleep faster. I think there haven’t been studies on that yet. But it is viable hypothesis. Not sure if this is applicable to Asgardians in the same manner, though. Maybe somebody should look into that. Of course, there are also other contributing factors. For instances, the distraction it provides, that makes it harder to turn over every shitty pebble in your head.” Tony shrugged at his own attempt at nonchalance.

He tried to keep looking at Loki's eyes, but the bemused stare was threatening to have him blush. He coughed and averted his eyes instead.

It was not such a preposterous suggestion. Masturbating was a time honored and traditional sleep remedy amongst humans. And Asgardian biology seemed to have a lot of similarities. He was just being helpful. There was good chance that Loki was doing it anyway and just trying to grind his gears by not answering. Maybe waiting that he blundered on and would eventually put his foot in his mouth. Again. So, he would just try to keep his trap shut for once and give Loki no more ammunition.

It took him an embarrassingly long while to finally notice that his wandering gaze had settled on Loki's crotch. He rapidly brought his attention back to Loki's face who was now outright grinning. Tony felt the need to simultaneously take one step forward and one step backward, undecided between feeling horrified and something else entirely. Instead he just stayed very still, concentrating on keeping his breathing under control.

“Now, Tony.” The drawl had Tony's neck hair standing up immediately. “As tempting as this proposal is, I would rather not have any records made of my sexual pleasures. And as it was made very clear to me that there is no possibility of me being alone while the cameras are turned off...”

Tony did not even think before offering “I could stay. As long as I am in the room I can tell JARVIS to turn off the A/V feed.”

Loki's face lit up even more if that was at all possible. “That is terribly kind of you. Being so … helpful.”

Tony had a sense of daring he had not felt since he had been a teenager. Which, given the stuff he did in his twenties, was not a small feat. He told JARVIS to cut out the surveillance and delete everything, starting when he had entered the room. He was standing with his side turned towards Loki when JARVIS gave the all clear. Somehow, he could feel Loki’s presence like a giant fire just burning a few feet away.

“I–” he started.

“Yes, dear?” Loki's tone was sweet, almost inviting.

“I–” he tried again, noticing that he had no idea where this sentence was supposed to go. Should he offer to turn his back? Or should he just sit down and stare at the ceiling? Was there a social protocol for these situations? Did it extend to alien gods? He probably should be–

“Why don't you come over here, darling?” Loki's voice was soft.

Tony followed, relieved his head had stopped spinning. A moment later he was standing in front of Loki, as close as possible with the glass between them, and the god gave him a warm smile. He was standing close to the glass pane as well, looking slightly down on Tony, who couldn’t stop thinking about how Loki could easily reach out and touch him if not for the barrier between them. 

“Your pants look like they might become very uncomfortable soon. I’d say take them off and also the shirt if you are already at it,” Loki suggested.

Tony had somehow managed to ignore his growing erection and for a moment wondered if he could hide from Loki somehow. But Loki's gaze made his skin tingle and the suggestion made his cock grow harder. Stepping back and pulling his shirt off over his head, he tried not to act too hastily and get tangled up in his clothes. He hesitated when only his boxer briefs were left. In that moment Loki gave an appreciating hum, which caught Tony's attention again.

“Come closer.” Tony followed immediately. Loki's eyes seemed to take in every inch of his body, while Tony had only eyes for the content smile on Loki’s face. It seemed to wash over him and displace any discordant thought trying to come up in his mind. 

“Aren't you the prettiest thing?” Loki's eyes were back on his face and he felt the sudden urge to cover at least the scars on his chest. He folded his arms and rolled his shoulders inward, taking a moment to stare at the floor.

“Hey, no hiding, sweet thing. I'll take good care of you. Will you let me do that?”

Tony's eyes shot back up. Loki's voice made his skin feel warm all over. He nodded slightly.

“I would very much like to hear you say it, Tony. Will you trust me to take care of you?”

Tony lowered his hands and stared into green eyes. “Yes, Loki.”

Loki's eyes seemed to catch fire at that. “Oh, you will be so good for me, won't you? You will touch yourself for me. Start by rubbing your cock with the palm of your hand. Slowly.”

Tony started to palm his cock through the cotton. He did it carefully as instructed although his mind already suggested getting as much friction as possible.

“Do you want more of that?” Loki asked softly.

Tony gave a whining moan at that, and he could see Loki’s erection twitch in his pants.

“Oh, if I could touch you, I would bind your arms and tease your cock all day just to hear you make that sound.” Tony gave another needy moan and Loki chuckled.

“Take them off.”

Tony hurried to comply, eager to get more of whatever Loki was planning to do and threw the last piece of his clothing somewhere in the general direction of the rest. He wanted to go back to rubbing his cock, but searched Loki's face first.

“Oh, you are so good, darling. Now use your spit and show me how you like to be touched.” Tony spat in his hand and dragged his hand along his length in long even strokes, tightening his grip before stroking back to the base. He lost himself in Loki's voice, who was telling him how much he enjoyed watching Tony and pushing him further with encouragements which were sweet and increasingly filthy at the same time.

“Do you know how good you look? Touching yourself for me. I would hold you, while you made yourself come, my cock pulsing against your hip. Would you like that?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Loki.”

“That’s right, if I get to touch you, I will make you plead my name. Make it the only word you remember.”

Tony was increasing the speed of his strokes, panting audibly, while wrapped in Loki's voice. He could see everything Loki was promising him, could feel his touch. For a moment he had to remind himself that they were still undeniably separated by the wall of the cage.

The more his arousal grew the more unsteady he felt on his feet. But he didn’t want to let up and he wasn’t sure how Loki would react to him moving away to sit on the couch. His legs started to tremble slightly, but that was enough for Loki to notice. 

“Oh sweet thing, so good standing there touching yourself for me, while your legs are killing you. Let’s make this easier for you. Do you want to kneel down for me?”

Something twinged in the back of Tony’s mind at the suggestion but his legs were already acting on their own. Kneeling, he looked up at Loki who was now towering above him behind the thin layer of glass, looking at him with a mixture of hunger and amazement.

“Look how beautiful you are like that. Isn’t that better?”

Cradled by Loki’s voice Tony continued to stimulate himself, losing himself in the feeling. He continued going for ever more friction now. He was so enraptured, it took him a few moments to notice when Loki stopped speaking.

Tony opened his eyes although he couldn’t even remember closing them. Again green eyes and a wide smile caught his gaze.

“There you are. No, don't stop touching your cock. Just keep your eyes on me. Use your other hand to touch your balls. Just like that, squeeze them a bit. Do you do that when you are alone?”

“No.” Tony managed to produce a clear answer, which somewhat surprised him.

“Hmm, would you like me to do it?”

“Yes, Loki, I want you to touch me.” That drew a deep moan from Loki. Tony's eyes dropped to where Loki's hands were opening his pants.

“Where would you like me to touch you?”

“Everywhere, I want to feel you everywhere.”

Loki now had his hard cock in his hand stroking it languidly, leaning on the glass with his other hand.

“What about right now? Where would you like my hands specifically?” he asked.

“In my hair,” Tony answered, drawing from the picture that had just sprung up in his head from seeing Loki's cock for the first time.

Loki grunted pulling on his cock now more vigorously. “Ask for it,” he demanded.

Tony felt the heat of his impending orgasm pool in his abdomen. “Loki, I want your cock in my mouth.”

Loki gave a lewd sound.

“You will have that, darling. When I get my hands on you, you will swallow my cock, while I stroke your hair. You will look wonderful with your lips stretched around it. Will you let me fuck your face? Hm..?”

Tony couldn’t even think straight anymore. He moaned hoping it was answer enough.

“I would hold you still and you would let me. Of course, you would. Let me make use of that wonderful mouth, stroke your hair, mark you with my come. I can almost feel your throat clenching around my cock right now.”  
Tony could not hold out anymore. He tried to remember what he was waiting for. Finally, he managed to breath the words “Loki, please, I need to come.”

“Oh yes, come for me, sweet thing.”

That was enough for Tony and with the next strokes he covered his hands in his own come. He kept on stroking through the last waves of his orgasm, his breathing coming in gasps and his body trembling with exertion. He kept his eyes on Loki who was coming quietly, shivering with waves of his own pleasure, his gaze intent on Tony. Through it all, he still looked composed, standing before Tony still impeccably dressed.

Tony was unable to move for a while, unable to even think about getting up. When he had wound down at least a little bit, he carefully stretched his legs, before standing up and getting tissues from one of the tables and trying to make sense of what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is :D  
> The first smut I ever wrote.
> 
> Thanks go to brokenEisenglas for beta.
> 
> Serinah read an early version of this chapter and cheered and did so much more than beta. I owe much of the deliciousness of the smut to her.


	9. As It Should Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki needs to clarify something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for beta to brokenEisenglas and Serinah. Sometimes I need somebody to tell me to use more words XD

It had been three days, not longer than their usual interval, but Loki was on the verge of being furious. He had been sitting in the lounge chair facing the entry to the visitor's chamber for hours now. He had started to mentally grab at the magical barriers of the cage again, although he knew it would leave him exhausted.

He already had spent hours at the beginning of his incarceration searching for the magical equivalent of a seam or a ledge to pry on and whenever he had found one it took him enormous concentration and prowess to loosen it. Just for it to fall away and nothing of the barrier was actually gone or changed, despite it suddenly being completely altered. It was like taking down a concrete wall and in the blink of an eye finding it intact and made from steel.

Three days he had not seen any part of Tony. He had heard of him every day from Thor who seemed to flaunt that he had access to the mortal all of the time. On the first day he even had asked if Tony had been down for another visit recently, to which Loki had answered with a general affirmation without being too specific about time and circumstances. At the same time he was remembering Tony’s face, fragile with an expression of pure awe and raw need. He wanted nothing more than making time move forward to that evening when Tony would come back. But he didn’t appear this evening or the next. 

On the third day, after Thor had shared some story of a feast including all the Avengers, that Tony had left prematurely, he had inquired if Thor knew where Tony went. That left Thor with a broad smile so that Loki regretted the question instantly. However, Thor was just aware that Tony went back to the workshop as he always did.

When Tony finally came in on this third evening, Loki did not address him but only glared at him, awaiting the explanation for his absence with the sense of anticipation a spider holds for the shiver of its net.

Tony came in and just startled for a moment when his eyes met Loki's.

“Ah, I get the feeling we are in a great mood tonight.”

Loki did not grace this with an answer but kept fixated on the human. Tony plunged down onto the couch and sighed when he found Loki's stare still on him. Loki did not avert his eyes for one moment, but there was no way of not seeing the tiredness in Tony's face and the way his body was slumping in the seat. He had seen these signs quite often by now, but tonight they just enraged him more. What was Tony thinking he was doing? Staying away and not taking care of himself on top of that. Loki was still waiting for an explanation.

After a while of continued staring Tony cast his eyes down. “If you are busy I can come back later...” But he made no attempt to stand up.

It took another minute of silence before Tony started to spill. “Okay, so what? You freaked me out. That was— How did you even do that? And I thought, okay, that happened. Just leave it at that and everything will be peachy, and I sit in a meeting only to have your voice in my ear again. And during team night. And I asked Thor about his magical barrier artefact thingies and he ensures me that they are still in place and working, but how... how are you in my head?”

Loki was nonplussed for a second. “You think I put you under a spell?” He might have been giggling.

Tony shot him an offended look. “I turned off the cameras and stripped. And I run around and act as if everything is normal.”

Loki hardly managed to only snicker lightly.

Tony by now was red all over and snapped “I hear your voice every time I jerk off.”

That stopped Loki from laughing instantly and the anger that had been boiling in his chest the last hours turned into something softer but not less hot. “As it should be,” he purred. “Oh, my sweet thing. I have been thinking of you, too.”

That managed to get Tony to let his mouth drop open. A whole range of emotions ran across his face. The last of which seemed to be somewhere between pain and hope.

“Now you should get some sleep. And when you need to hear my voice, you just come here instead of getting lost in your head again.” He added in a firmer tone ”And this is not a suggestion.”

-

This time only one day went by. Tony came back at his usual time and brought food, as if there had been no disruption to their pattern. He still was quieter than before, to a point that Loki almost felt compelled to ask about the architectural achievements of whatever nation was sponsoring their food tonight.

After they had eaten mostly in silence, he told Tony to get the big plush blanket that Thor kept around and ordered him to wrap himself in it. He already looked so lost and Loki got the feeling that being completely exposed would just have been overwhelming. There were no questions or hesitations from Tony, not even when Loki told him to cut the cameras, open his pants and stroke his cock.

Loki murmured endearments and compliments all the way through Tony's silent masturbation. When Tony's eyes found his the first time since he had gotten the blanket, the heat in Loki's chest started to roar with a new intensity. Tony’s orgasm was mostly silent but the shiver running through is body was all that Loki needed to see. Tony was his; to play with and to take care of. The certainty and satisfaction of that thought caught him by surprise; all doubts and quarrels gone for the moment. He allowed himself to indulge in the simplicity of it. Just for tonight.

Tony managed to fall asleep on the couch and Loki made no attempts to wake him, just kept vigil from his chair by the glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to squish this in between the regular updates as it is a) short and b) very closely connected to the last chapter. I could just have stuck it to the end of the last chapter, but I didn't want to ruin everyone's afterglow.
> 
> Your reactions have been wonderful and I'm amazed by your comments. (Is this my way of asking for you for more? Of course it is. :D)
> 
> I'm also on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loraneldin).


	10. Just Drop By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bucky make plans for the arm.

It was a week after they made the decision to replace the arm that Bucky came back to the workshop.

“You said you needed some input from me before you can start on a replacement?” he asked instead of a greeting.

“And a wonderful morning to you, sugarcane.” Tony was not grumpy, at least not without good reason. He had had a very late video call with representatives of a Japanese competitor company, that Pepper had insisted he needed to be on. Afterwards, he had decided to be responsible for once and went straight to his own bed instead of workshop bingeing or visiting Loki. The result was that he had drifted in and out of a fitful sleep for most of the night.

Additionally, he had lost valuable time on his projects. And to start this morning directly in the workshop instead of going for coffee first, was also a gross miscalculation. Luckily, that was easy to fix.

“I will need some time to finish this prototype first. How about you go get yourself a coffee and come back in half an hour? And when you are already at it, you could also bring me a cup?” He flashed a grin that he hoped was convincing.

Bucky thankfully took it in good spirit. “How about this, sunshine: I get us both a big cup right away and you tell me what you are working on while you finish?”

“Deal, buttercup!” Tony said, then added “Black.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows unimpressed. “I knew that.”

He came back with the coffee a short time after, sitting down at the short side of the table, close to where Tony was working. He prompted Tony to start talking and asked questions along the way when he didn’t understand something.

Bucky had a surprisingly good basic knowledge of electronics which made the conversation easier and a lot more interesting for Tony. He had a pretty good guess where this knowledge was coming from, but he put the connection back in a box in his mind labeled ‘Not helpful’.

He finished up in the time he calculated it would take, which was a surprise in itself. A sharp whistle and the carrier bot he had specifically designed for this task came whirring to his side.

Bucky looked at it surprise. “What does he do?”

“He takes it to the R&D guys down on the SI floors so they can do the periphery.”

Tony laughed at Bucky's confusion. “You didn't think that I do all of the development of our products?”

“Of course, I did. After all you seem to never leave this place. If I didn't know you had your own floor, I would guess you live here.”

Tony sent the bot away and turned on his stool to face Bucky. “More or less: I do major developments for SI and some minor subsidiaries, all the Avengers gear including my armor, some pro bono engineering work for Stark charities and make kick-ass metal arms for beautiful, but obviously not very bright strays.”

“Stray? Really?” Bucky glared at him, trying to avoid smiling with no success.

“That is the part you chose to be upset about? Don't be. After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. that is what everybody on the team is, according to Rhodey. You really need to meet Rhodey if his current mission ever ends. You are just the latest addition to our traumatized farm upstate. The stay comes with any replacement limbs included, so why don't we get started?”

Bucky's posture became more rigid. “Okay, what do you need?”

Yeah, that wouldn't do. Tony's engineering was a part of him and he would not shove it at Barnes while he looked like he was readying for an attack.

“I know I ambushed you with the replacement the other night. I can get carried away with my ideas and I know it is hard to stop me in my–” Tony harrumphed. “Enthusiasm, let's say. But you don't have to. You say the word and the idea is off the table. Repair is still an option. Even removing it if that is what you really want. I can set it up on a nice display and you can throw darts at it or knives or whatever your preferred super assassin weapon is.”

Bucky relaxed a little. He momentarily closed his eyes.

“I like the idea of a new arm. Just getting it is...” Bucky had troubles finding the right word.

Tony was ready to wait for him. He wanted to know what was going on. It was important to get anything out of the way that could interfere with him creating a wet dream of a prosthetic arm. That was of course the main reason. He mostly ignored the other thing in his chest that wanted to hug Bucky until the pained expression was gone.

“It’s so many things. And so many feelings. The Asset has no feelings. Or that's what I thought. Maybe it can stow them away. I can't. I should be grateful for that, but, yeah.” He shrugged.

“It just seems so much easier without any random emotions popping up, that the situation never called for and you don't know what to do with?” Tony asked. He could relate.

Bucky looked at him and gave a slight nod.

“I remember how that sucked. Fuck, I still get that today. Just not as often anymore. I mean the feelings are still there, they just don't feel so overwhelming anymore, I guess. At least most of the time.” The feelings he had weren’t always nice. These days they actually seldom were but they were clear and he knew where to find some diversion. He got along somehow.

Bucky still looked trapped in his own head space.

“We start slow. Let me get some scans and we take it from there. Just tell me when you need a break or anything else, okay?”

“Scans?” Bucky asked, still much to restricted for Tony's taste. “Like X-rays or a CAT scan?”

“JARVIS has his own ways of getting diagnostics. You just need to place the arm a little further on the table and he'll be done in a few minutes.”

“So, no extra … machine?” Bucky asked.

And again, something clicked in Tony's mind, and he wished it didn't. The chair from the Winter Soldier project he had seen in some of the material taken from the raided Hydra bases looked like something from a horror movie. His imagination had run wild with the implications the next time he slept and had thrown some of his memories from Afghanistan in for good measure. He had just spent the next three nights working in the workshop afterwards.

“No, just move it a bit to the left. Right there. Okay?” Tony waited for Bucky's nod. “JARVIS, the complete package, please.”

“I initiated all available scanning programs, Sir.”

Tony did his best to distract Bucky while the scan was underway. “Have you already thought about the design? I’ll let you make the final decision on that if you are nice. If not, I'll go with a Hello Kitty theme.”

Bucky glared at him. “You know that I can get a can of spray paint within an hour?”

Tony acted scandalized. “You would not dare ruining a masterwork with a half assed paint job.”

“And your ass can do better? With the colors on that tin can?” Bucky asked with a smirk.

“First, wouldn't you like to know how good a job my ass can do.” Tony never had been one to back down from a challenge. “Second, how dare you?” And that actually drew a chuckle from Bucky.

Tony continued “And you know you bringing me coffee actually constitutes a second date? One more and I get to engineer you all night long.”

The grin on Bucky's face made Tony's stomach flutter.

When the scan was done, Tony pulled up the data and diagrams on one of the table displays and started to point out differences from the Hydra documentation. Bucky standing beside him, added information about the function and limitations the arm had in everyday use. They spent some time discussing what flaws needed to be ironed out and what would be good additions.

At some point Bucky stepped even closer and lent over into Tony's space to unnecessarily point something out on the opposite side of the display and just did not step back afterwards. They kept on brushing against each other for the rest of the discussion.

Tony grinned inwardly and made note of how warm Bucky was. He abandoned the thought of pushing the game further, to see how far Bucky would go. Bucky had taken to the flirting like fish to water but of course there had to be a line somewhere. Tony genuinely enjoyed the contact and didn’t want Bucky to back down when Tony would find the point that was definitely too much. Tony had no doubt that the point would come.

They made a list of features to be included in the new limb and Tony jotted down some ideas and concepts.

“I will make some final specs before I work on a prototype. I let you know when they are ready, so we can go over them together,” he said when they were done.

Bucky was smiling at him. “Or I just drop by when I am around and see how it's going?”

Tony smirked. “You do that, rose petal. But don't forget my coffee.”

-

The next day found Bucky in the workshop again, knowing very well that there would not be anything finished yet. But he did not even get to say that.

“You are kidding me right?” Tony grunted, annoyed. “The scans are not even dry yet. ‘A few days’ usually specifies more than one day last time I checked. That even beats the most ridiculous demands the rest of the cheer squad ever had.”

Bucky just gave him a broad smile. “Good morning to you, too, honeysuckle. Should I just go then and take your extra big coffee with me?”

Tony's eyes instantly dropped to the cup he brought along. “This might change things,” he drawled.

“So, you're gonna take a break, tell me what you're working on, until you finished the cup?” Bucky held it just out of Tony's reach.

“I think you underestimate the time I need to finish a cup of coffee.”

“I think you underestimate the speed at which you usually talk.”

“Touché. Now come over and gimme that cup.”

Bucky grinned to himself and probably on the outside too as Tony looked at him and rolled his eyes. But he started talking once he got his coffee and Bucky couldn’t quench the feeling of accomplishment.

They kept the conversation going long after the cup was empty while Tony continued to bend several metal plates he had cut to form that morning.

When he needed to bring out the welding cutter again, Bucky just said, “I'll be over there,” moving towards the workshop couch and took out his phone. He could see Tony starting to protest from the corner of his eye, but ignored it when Tony didn’t actually speak up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was again betaed by the lovely brokenEisenglas.
> 
> _*looks at subscription numbers*_   
> Hi, you all. Glad you are here.  
> I'm still marveling at your response to this story. With this being the rare pair that it is, I never expected it.  
> Thank you for giving this your time and your comments ;)


	11. I’m Okay For Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some conversations are had. Others are avoided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to brokenEisenglas for beta and to Serinah for help with that one scene.

Since the first day of Bucky living in the tower, Steve came into his bedroom at 4:30 am to wake him up. In the beginning it was only for breakfast, but, after he had healed from their encounter in South America, they instead would go down to the gym first. 

Bucky had a hard time accepting that Steve held no grudges over the fight. It had taken him some time to have it actually click that Steve was there, alone, and not going away. That he was offering him a way out. Or more precisely a way in. Back into a somewhat normal life. 

And Bucky had decided to take the leap, to trust Steve again as he had always trusted him. Even when there was still something within him resisting. And, now, he was back in New York and being woken by this stupid ass best friend at 4:30 in the morning. 

The guilt made him go along with it for about four days. Then he thought that maybe a stable schedule would do him good. That got him through another three.

On day eight, after the first time he had visited Tony’s workshop, he threw a pillow at the door when it opened and growled loud enough that Steve closed it again. 

When they met two hours later in the communal kitchen, Steve just said, “ Not a problem, skipping one day. We will try again tomorrow.”

“Try and the next thing I throw at you won’t be a pillow.”

Steve just looked at him unimpressed.

Bucky could have appreciated Steve’s concern and looking after him if it was at all warranted. “Look, I know how to ask JARVIS to wake me at much too early in the morning. If I am not awake, I don’t want to be.”

Steve had made sure to acquaint him with the tower AI at their very first breakfast. Bucky got the feeling that Steve expected him to react badly to the incorporeal butler, but he was actually fascinated.

Steve put on his earnestly patient face. “Bucky, regular hours and physical exercise are important factors—”

“Cut the bullshit, Steve. I won’t go on a murder spree because I get up at 6 am instead of 4. You can’t define what my life here is going to look like if it’s supposed to be my life.” Bucky couldn’t let Steve get comfortable with the thought that he was in charge. Not of him. “Speaking of which. When you found me, you said you found me through security footage.”

“Yes, we did.” Steve’s sudden curtness was telling. He was obviously uncomfortable with the topic which was at least something.

“We live on a pretty big planet though. Now, I know why you looked at this footage in particular,” Bucky said evenly, in spite of the subliminal anger he could feel creeping in. "I know about the capacitors and the neurotransmitters."

“Tony,” Steve snarled.

Oh no, Tony was really not the one in trouble here. “Hey, this is not about him. You tried to keep that information from me.”

“Just in case. This is a new situation. You need time to adapt.” If Bucky hadn’t for decades been used to Steve’s idiocy when it came to his own convictions, this might have escalated. But he remembered enough about Steve to know where the conversation needed to go.

“You mean I could disappear or become the Asset again and you don’t want to lose your means of finding me.” Bucky could see the tactical advantage. He would have been stupid not too. But Steve needed to see that he couldn’t let people control him like that anymore. 

“We would have found time to talk about it once you were settled in.” 

“Am I a good person, Steve? Good people?”

“What Bucky? Of course. This isn’t – I know what you are saying, but I’m not trying to control you.”

“Good, because you won’t be able to once I get rid of the arm.” Bucky knew it was not a fair move, throwing it at Steve like this, but he preferred to stop this idea dead in its tracks, Steve’s conviction that all decisions would be run by him.

“Get rid of it? Bucky–”

“Steve, stop! I will tell you when I want your input on this. I’m good, for the moment. There have been no decisions, yet.” After a moment he added, “I will let you know when there is more to know, okay?”

“Okay.” Steve sighed. They both went silent for a minute. Then Steve spoke again. “Can I ask you if you want to eat breakfast or are you going to throw the cereal at me too?” There was a small smile on his face again despite Bucky’s verbal headbutt. Bucky swallowed relieved. They were probably going to be okay.

They ate mostly in relaxed silence. When Bucky got coffee for the both of them, Steve started to talk again. Bucky reminded himself that he had the best intentions.

“You have been talking to Tony?” Steve put on a smile. It looked like he had a swarm of insect in his mouth he was trying to keep from escaping. 

“Yes, as I have been talking with all other people here. Or is there something particularly interesting about Tony?” There was a feeling that Bucky had developed that there was everybody and then there was Tony. Everything seemed to be friendly, but in a strange way, they seemed to exist in different worlds.

Steve stared at him. “Tony…”

After a moment, when Steve didn’t seem inclined to continue, Bucky asked a little impatiently “Yes?”

“Is…” Steve trailed off again.

“Almost having a whole sentence there. Go on; you can do it.” Bucky thought about smiling but somehow it didn’t want to come out.

“Different,” Steve settled on, his mouth pressed into a thin line.

Bucky was not going to let him get away with that. “Said the ninety-year-old super soldier.”

“Come on, Buck. You know what I mean.” Steve pushed back his chair, crossing his arms.

“No, I actually don’t. You have a tower full of the strangest combination of people one can imagine and somehow Tony is the odd one out?” Bucky shook his head.

Steve bunched his forehead. “But you notice all the quips, right?”

“Since when are you afraid of quips?” There was something Bucky was not picking up on.

Steve still wasn’t good with being challenged. “I’m not afraid.”

“Then what is the fucking problem, Steve?”

Steve studied Bucky's face, considering. He sighed. "I guess you got everything handled living here.” Silence lingered momentarily, then Steve nodded almost as if to himself. “Maybe things are due for a change." 

Perhaps Steve was finally catching on. “Yes, Steve, I still know how living works. Could just be that I’m a bit rusty.”

“You are adapting much better than I did.” Steve’s expression was melancholy and Bucky regretted that he had not been there when Steve woke up in the future.

“I wasn’t asleep for seventy years,” he said with warmth in his voice.

Steve looked pained at that reminder nonetheless.

Bucky smiled at him. He hoped it was reassuring. “I’m okay for now. And I get along very well with Tony. Could be his stubbornness and ignoring his own well-being reminds me of someone.”

~

When Tony had started to buy clothes for Loki, instead of just buying more of the initial pieces Thor had chosen, he had felt awkward. He knew that it was telling even more than the rest of the stuff he was buying. His self-conscious feelings all but evaporated when Loki started to wear some of them. 

By now it was quite homely down there. Loki’s part of the room was outfitted with more furniture, a second book case, two dressers, a small side table, rugs, more lamps for indirect lighting, blankets and throw pillows. 

Loki had never asked for anything exactly. In the beginning he had made suggestions. From there he had gone straight to … demands might not be the right word. He expressed what he thought was required and Tony bought it. They had never made the detour of Loki asking for something.

Tony had also hung some art in the anteroom, as he was tired of looking at blank walls all the time and Loki probably felt the same. Sometimes he got the feeling it was all too much but as Loki didn’t say anything he figured it was probably okay.

To be sure, Tony told Loki to just throw out the stuff he didn’t like and Loki never had any quarrels with that. It diffused Tony’s fears of buying too much or the wrong things. One day, when Loki picked up one of the shirts Tony bought and lowered it with an incredulous look on his face, Tony stammered “I thought you might look good in it.” It didn’t wander on the pile to be thrown out. Later, when he saw Loki in it, he didn’t actually like it, but Loki was wearing it because of what Tony had said and, yes, he liked that look after all.

-

When Tony started to go back to his place to shower and put something decent on before going down to level 54 almost every single night, he told himself he just didn’t want to be out matched by Loki, who managed to look elegant and immaculate at any given time. Tony had to put some effort in for that. Especially after a long day in the workshop. 

Cleaning up somehow felt right and became its own ritual of sorts. 

Of course, I didn’t take Loki long to notice. “Have you been dressing up for me?” Tony couldn’t deny it when Loki put it like that. 

He spent that evening undressing piece by piece, while Loki told him how to bring himself to the edge of coming and, every time, just as he felt he was at almost the point of no return, Loki would tell him to stop. After the first time, his shock and frustration must have been visible as Loki said “But, my sweet, I’m appreciating your effort of making ascertain you look good for me. I just want to be sure that when you come it is in my favorite stage of undress. For that we have to try them all out. Now, take off the vest and turn around.” 

And when Loki said ‘all’, he meant it. By the end of the night Tony was sweaty, completely naked, and, after Loki had finally let him come, happily floating. He slept a full nine hours on the couch.

-

When Loki started to choose things for him it was a different matter altogether.

Tony had just started to wonder aloud about replacing the towels when Loki told him he had a better use for Tony’s resources. Tony stepped close to the glass pane, as Loki indicated that he wanted to show him something on the tablet. Tony almost swallowed his tongue. He could feel Loki’s eyes on him gauging his reaction

“That’s quite … colorful.” It was a dildo. Loki had found an online sex shop. “I can certainly — You know what? I’ll set the system up so that you can buy anything on there. Same day delivery. You won’t have to wait. It’s awesome.” He was was babbling. His skin was heating up and he wanted to put his head against the glass just to cool it down.

Loki didn’t speak for some very long seconds. The words that followed were very pointed. “No. You will order that one. For now. And then I will spend some more time thinking about what you need, and when I find something, I will tell you. Isn’t that right, my sweet one?”

Tony thought for a moment about not doing what Loki asked of him. Just saying no. But he didn’t want to say no. “Yes, Loki. You decide.” He looked up into Loki’s eyes and thought about what Loki would choose for him. The internet was a bottomless pit of things to use in various body orifices. He had several toys upstairs in a box shoved somewhere into the back of his closet and not used in a long time. Now, he would be told to order new ones. It was hard to deny that he loved the thought. Loki choosing for him. In a way, he had been choosing everything else for Loki who seemed to appreciate it. 

It was not completely the same though. Loki couldn’t go out and buy a toy for Tony in a shop. As much as this thought disgruntled Tony, he loved the idea, the fantasy. Loki getting out to get something to use on him and returning with it. 

Return. Right.

His cage might be unbelievably comfortable but it was still a cage. If Tony was thinking that Loki would ever look back if he found a way to leave, he was delusional.

Tony shook away the thoughts and looked back up at Loki who was watching him seemingly fascinated.

~

Bucky had gotten an introduction to all the Avengers from Steve. He wanted it to be fair grounds for Bucky as the team already knew about him. What the information and Steve’s comments did say about Clint was that he was the world’s best marksman, a top secret agent and that he was ‘fun to be around’. 

He found out what that meant when, just after meeting Clint, he suggested to go down to the tower’s shooting range for practice. 

“You’re supposed to be good at that right?” Clint was grinning, apparently sure to be in a different league.

Bucky agreed anyway.

The shooting range was on the same level as the gym and training facilities. Bucky opted out of using a firearm but gave one of Clint's backup bows a try. That hadn’t been a weapon the Asset had used as far as he could remember. For the fact that Clint was supposed to be an excellent undercover agent, he was very obvious about his amusement. He apparently didn’t expect Bucky to be any good with it. Bucky was satisfied with his result putting all arrows fairly close together although his aim was a bit off. He knew it was probably no challenge and that Clint would hit the center of the target with all of his arrows. 

Instead Clint shadowed everyone of Bucky’s arrows with one of his own, taking about ten seconds for all five.

Bucky was grinning when he searched the weapons locker for a minute before he went back with two sets of throwing knives. Switching to the target set up on the next stand he handed Clint one set. The archer seemed very confident that he would win this round also. From the flow of his movements it became clear that he was also trained with knives. He managed to put all five in the inner third of the target and looked back at Bucky with a smug grin as he stepped aside. He was probably too proud to point out that the target was too far off for really precise throwing. For normal people at least.

Bucky took longer than Clint but managed to hit all five knives in the center on a palm sized area, all nearer to the center than Clint's.

“Yeah,” Clint said, “now we only need to ask the bad guys to stand still for a minute, so you can kebab them.”

“Final contest,” Bucky offered sure there was a glint visible in his eye, “You take the bow. I’ll take the knives. I get the amount of time it takes you to fire five arrows. You in?”

Clint looked at him skeptically but offered his hand, “Loser has to be Natasha's sparring partner for the week. Winner can watch how he gets beaten up.”

Bucky took the hand.

They cleared both targets and decided that JARVIS would give the start signal.

Clint focused completely on his target but Bucky could see him throw sideway glances at him while getting ready. “Maybe you want to concentrate on your target instead of me.” He laughed at Bucky, absolutely sure he would win. Bucky didn’t bother taunting.

Clint fired his arrows in rapid succession and Bucky had to concentrate hard to anticipate his movements before he made them. But he managed.

When they were done, Clint looked incredulous at Bucky, who had thrown his knives at Clint's arrows instead of his own target. All were lying not even halfway to the target cut in two somewhere around the middle.

“Fucking super soldiers,” Clint muttered. “Just ain't fair!”

“Ah, c’mon we both have no weapon at the target, so let's just say it's a tie,” Bucky beamed at him. He hadn’t thought that target practice would be that much fun.

“Not happening,” Clint told him, “Natasha will drag me to the gym anyway if I can provide no other victim, and you, my friend, are going to share that tragic fate.”

~

Tony knew that there were several people that would probably need to come see him in the next two days: Natasha for her bites, Steve for the fundraiser planning for the fall, and Sam for some issues with the Quinjet’s autopilot system. But when Thor and not Bucky came through the door, he noticed a pang of disappointment in his chest.

“Tony, are you engaged in something important at this time?” Thor asked.

“No. What’s up, Hammer Time?” Tony asked, clearing his expectations of showing Bucky some of the new designs from his mind.

Thor was standing by the door and smiling his usual 1000-Watt smile. “I came down here to thank you for all the things you have done for my brother.”

Tony noticed how his own answering smile tried to slip from his face again. “Don’t mention it. It’s nothing.”

Instead of readying himself to leave, Thor came further into the workshop. “It’s hardly nothing.”

Tony tried to swallow whatever else he might say on the topic, but somehow his throat didn’t cooperate.

“I should have thought about a lot of these things myself. That is why I am grateful for you taking the time to visit him down there and improve his quarters so much.”

Tony tried to breathe through the upcoming panic. Thor liked Loki, and he wasn’t treacherous. Most likely he was really grateful and here to thank Tony. They had talked about the first minor upgrades. And there was no way that Thor knew what else Loki and Tony did. What Loki did to Tony. What Tony let Loki do to him. Willingly. Gratefully.

“I don’t think he needs to sit in an empty cell as long as he is imprisoned here.” Tony noticed that he had to force himself to use the word ‘imprisoned’. How much had he deluded himself over the last weeks? 

“But I don’t think we should make too much fuss about the upgrades. I’m not sure the team would approve.” He made himself look back up at Thor, hoping that this discussion would end soon.

“Why would you think that? Why would they object to your excellent ideas?” Thor was still smiling, although now with a hint of confusion. 

He probably couldn’t see why the team could think that it was wrong. To provide Loki with about everything Tony could find to make his cell more comfortable. There were slate-grey 600 thread count silk-striped Egyptian cotton sateen linens, for crying out loud! Tony was throwing everything at Loki that money could buy, because he knew whatever he did, didn’t matter; wasn’t enough.

Tony took a breath and tried to explain. “They are excellent ideas to make a cell more habitable. A cell for a prisoner some of them hate enough that they seem to have pushed his existence from their minds.” And he would prefer for it to stay that way. The more Loki, and him for that matter, stayed under anyone’s radar the better. The way things were, was working for them and any disturbance to that balance only meant problems.

“But he is still imprisoned. I don’t think the team would be so cruel as to demand that he also be kept from basic comforts.”

Tony mentally snorted at the term ‘basic’. 

Thor continued unfazed, “It is understandable that our teammates are wary of Loki still. They haven’t seen the other side of him, like you and I have. But they aren’t cruel.”

“If you think so…” They weren’t cruel but there was no leniency to expect from them either.

Thor looked at him and for the first time the broad smile disappeared to make place for a more sympathetic expression. “I think you spent a lot of time alone in recent weeks. Maybe you’d want to join us for training today?”

“I was dismissed from training if you remember. Steve told me to focus on my work.” Tony didn’t gripe. It was fine. It was probably better.

“Yeah, but it will be fun. Work can wait.”

Thor didn’t seem to grasp the issue. It wasn’t that Tony had too much work to join them (which, of course, he had) but that he was not welcome.

“I think I’ll pass.” There was no need to pull Thor into all of this. He was already doing the right thing for Loki. Tony could take care of himself.

Thor seemed to be more aware of the issue than Tony accounted for, though. “I know you and Steve sometimes don’t see eye to eye. You talk about the same issues, but don’t speak to each other.” That was a very creative way of expressing Steve and his relationship, but Tony was curious where Thor was going with this. 

“But in all those situations, this is still the person you fight side by side with on the battlefield. You trust him with your life.” Thor paused and mentally seemed to shift gears. “You have asked us all to move in here, welcomed us in your home. I would think you consider us friends.”

“Of course, Thor, you are very—”

“If we are your friends, then do you think we would dismiss you that easily?”

Thor made it sound like Tony thought that the team were bad people. They weren’t. Tony knew that, but he had no idea how this team thing was supposed to work. The way it had been over the last month it might be better if they only met for missions and went their separate ways otherwise. The thought hurt, although Tony told himself that there was no reason for that.

Thor interrupted his train of thought. “Someone once told me that if a person is dear to you, that is more important than what they say or do because your heart knows them. You can find a way to see them for what they are beyond everything else and find it in you to see past things that have happened when the time comes. But you can’t do that if you cut every connection first.”

Tony was perplexed. About a hundred things were running through his mind. But one thing was taking the spotlight. “Who was the person who saw the need to make you look past someone’s actions?”

“My mother.” Thor smiled and Tony could have sworn he guessed the next question before it left Tony’s mouth.

“But you are talking about Steve right now?”

“Take it as you will.” Thor smiled one last cheeky smile and walked out.

~

When Clint told Natasha a few days later he had brought Bucky because he volunteered to be her sparring partner, she smiled as she always did when Bucky was around. It unfailingly left him feeling the need to take cover somewhere.

Clint went over to the benches, and they started by circling each other for a few moments before Natasha made the first move. She kicked low at his leg trying to bring him off balance, but he side stepped easily. She was testing the waters more than actually attacking. Next, she delivered a flurry of punches, which Bucky just blocked. There were more of these kind of attacks; Natasha darting forward to make use of an opening to her advantage, but withdrawing instantaneously after. Bucky noticed that she never came too close, dealing more kicks and punches than making any riskier moves that would actually grant her a chance in a real fight. He knew what she was able to do and was not going to insult her by going easy on her.

When she tried to deck a few punches to his face, obviously to make use of the resulting distraction to get to his back, he just did not block. He instead took the punches and clamped his metal hand around her upper arm. That seemed to set something in Natasha off. In a matter of seconds, he was being choked by her legs, got several punches to his lower back and found himself lying face down on the mat. He could hear Natasha breathing all the way over where Clint had been sitting and watching them.

“What?” Clint said confused. “Why do you not just stop when I go down? Why is he allowed to just lie around after smackdown?”

Bucky took a few measured breaths. He had an idea what this was about and therefore gave her an out. “Maybe you two show me how you usually handle these things, and I take the bench for a bit.”

“Yeah, nice way of saving your ass another beat up.” Clint mockingly glared at him but made his way over.

Sparring between Clint and Natasha also needed a moment to get going, but then it was easy to see how used they were to one another. This meant that Clint was able to counter more attacks than Bucky initially thought and also landed some himself, but Natasha had him pinned soon every time.

He could see how she gave herself challenges after some time: not using one arm or refraining from moves that would require her to bend to a certain angle. It was a simulation on how to fight with different injuries.

He knew about the Red Room program from two sides now. The information that Steve had given him detailed that it was a spy training camp for the KGB with inhuman methods. It was awfully unspecific.

The other angle had been the mission dossier the Asset had received, when it was deployed to assassinate a dignitary guarded by Natasha. That information had not been so kindly redacted. He knew full well what she was capable of and how she came by that skill set. The emphasis of the Red Room had been less technical and more psychological than the Winter Soldier program but effective and brutal in the same horrifying way.

Surviving the Red Room and the life after was a testament to her strength and her intellect. 

Bucky understood all too well why she was guarded around him, especially after she had been shot by the Asset already once. He thought she might be the one on the team who got the clearest picture of him.

Clint did not suggest training with Natasha anymore after that day. If Natasha had told him anything, or if he picked up on the tension himself, Bucky did not know. However, Bucky was glad (and felt only the tiniest bit guilty) that Clint did not retract from him, too.

~

The rest of the Avengers made sure to make Bucky feel welcome in an unobtrusive way. The team had certainly a family quality to it, with somebody hanging around the common areas at most times if Bucky was looking for company. Dr. Banner and James Rhodes were the only two people he hadn’t met yet. Rhodes was being deployed as a safeguard on an international mission for several months and Dr. Banner had taken a leave of absence, without specifying where he was going, about half a year ago.

That left Clint, Natasha, Sam, Steve, Thor and Tony. The only time they all had been together in one place was movie night about two weeks after Bucky's arrival. They had movie nights at least once a week, but usually somebody was missing. Somebody being Tony.

On one of these evenings Bucky had already jumped up from the couch and declared that he was just skipping down to the workshop to ask Tony if he wanted to join them when Clint said, “Don't bother. I asked when I was just down there collecting the new arrows for testing. He is busy.”

“As usual,” Sam chimed in. “Not the people person the press always sold him for. Especially not since Pepper.”

“Do you think that is still the issue? It has been more than a year.” Clint was skeptical. “I would have expected him to have someone new by now. But with him holing up in his lab, even Tony Stark cannot have women falling at his feet.”

“It is not nice to talk about teammates behind their back,” Steve reprimanded.

“Consultant,” Sam corrected him and earned a unamused glare. “Hey, he is always the first to remind us of that. Anyhow, get the movie on. If he doesn't want to join, it’s his decision.”

They all settled down to watch the film, but afterwards Bucky couldn't have recalled anything that happened on screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter in my head is the beginning of the second act. Just so you know.
> 
> Please speculate in the comments what the shirt Tony bought looks like. :D


	12. Oh Man, Waffles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets new information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the thanks again to brokenEisenglas for beta and her continuing support.

Tony just wanted to grab some coffee from the common kitchen before heading to the workshop. He did not expect to find Bucky and Steve having what appeared to be a very late and very excessive breakfast.

“Hey, aren't super soldiers supposed to be up at dawn and doing soldiery stuff and not having brunch until noon?” he asked.

Bucky gave him a welcoming smile. “Good morning, sunshine. Come sit down and have some. I might have highly overestimated Steve's appetite. But wasn't my fault. Everybody made such a fuss about the mountains of food he would devour.”

Tony had stopped his way to the counter. There was fresh coffee on the table. “JARVIS used the average consumption of a four-person-household as stand in for him when the team moved in. That was surprisingly accurate,” he said.

Steve chimed in, “Bucky, just considered his portions and doubled that for me. And here we are.” He gestured to the table which still held enough delicious looking food to feed another three people. “So please help me. I’ll get you a plate.”

Tony decided he could start somewhat later in the lab. Steve came back with a plate and a mug after a moment and loaded a bit of everything on it.

Conversation was surprisingly easy and the food delicious. When Tony commented on that, Bucky gave him the most radiant smile, and Steve explained that Bucky always had been good at creating nice meals from the limited resources they had.

“You have practically everything at your disposal here, and you guys have coffee and stale doughnuts for breakfast,” Bucky chided them.

“I feel so attacked right now,” Tony answered. “Which is my cue: I should be heading to the workshop. Come by later to have a look at the specs for the arm when you have time.”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Bucky seemed as happy to spend more time on this as he was. “I need to make sure that Steve has not convinced you to put a tracker in there after all.” He gave Steve a challenging glare which made the blond sigh.

“I said, I am sorry. I understand that it is not right to constrict your freedom for my peace of mind.” The way he said that made Tony wonder how much trouble he had been in for not understanding it the first time.

“So, you two talked?” he said in what he hoped was a neutral tone.

Bucky had taken some time to come down from the shock of discovering that his arm had led Steve and the team to him. Or it might just had been the shock of not getting this information from Steve.

“Yes. Yes, we did.” Steve sounded somewhat pained by the memory.

Bucky took over. “I just reminded Steve, that in his words 'If you feel the need to control good people, you should check which side of the line you’re on'.” He smiled smugly.

Tony was impressed. “He said that, hmm? Good to know.”

Steve sat back and rolled his eyes, smiling.

“Yeah,” Bucky continued, “Anyway, if you had wanted to lock me up in here you may want to rethink your image of prison facilities. Ten types of cereal are not standard. Even though a proper tower should come with a dungeon.” He didn’t notice the change in atmosphere immediately. “However, you may want to omit it from the floor list.” He began imitating the computer voice in the tower elevator, “Level fifty-eight: gym, level fifty-nine: in-house super-secret prison complex.”

“It is actually on level fifty-four,” Tony quipped.

“Tony,” Steve reprimanded, but far less harsh than Tony expected. Tony turned to face him and noticed the resigned line of his lips.

Bucky glanced from one to the other with wide eyes while Tony tried to read in Steve’s face what he thought they were supposed to tell Bucky. 

“You guys are serious? You lock your supervillains in your basement and throw away the keys, or what?”

Without breaking his stare at Steve, Tony continued to talk to Bucky. “It is just one guy and he is Thor's brother. It is basically as if your roommate’s brother came for Thanksgiving and does not leave afterwards. Extended family visit.”

“Against his will?” Bucky was adamant.

Tony finally looked over at him. “He pissed off not only his home planet, but several others, too. Including ours. You have heard about what happened here in New York three years ago? That was him.” After a pause he added, “He enabled it at least.”

He could see Steve furrow his brow in question from the corner of his eye.

Tony ignored him. “After the last shit he pulled in Asgard, Thor brought him here. To keep him safe from some very angry aliens and to keep everybody else safe from him.”

Bucky still did not seem content but did not rebuke this time.

Steve broke the silence, “It is far from ideal, but if a teammate says he needs our support, we will always be there. We need to be able to rely on each other.”

Tony had decades of training of not showing any emotions and was grateful for that now. They sat another moment in silence until Clint walked in and almost skipped with glee. “Oh man, waffles.”

Tony seized the opportunity to leave. “Yeah, you can have my place. Cap, Bucky.” With that he got up and left.

He made it into the elevator and down to his workshop before his mind told him how fucked up it was, to defend the imprisonment of Thor's brother at breakfast when he had practically had sex with Loki the night before. Of course, it was not sex in the classical sense of the word but still.

He could not tell that one of his premises was wrong. Thor's brother was locked up with good intentions, for his sake as well as others’. Loki also was the best part of his days now. Even when he did not take care of him, Tony enjoyed spending time there enormously.

He had noticed this kind of mental split some time ago. He had not talked to anybody about visiting the cage. Initially there was nothing to tell. He just sought out company when most people in the tower were asleep. And their prisoner was not a daily topic anyway. When it did come up it was more of a sore spot for their team dynamic. Which they had enough of without Tony fraternizing with the enemy, as someone surely would have called it. (Clint held the largest enmity towards Thor’s brother and Tony couldn’t begrudge him that. Being kidnapped and brainwashed into attacking your friends would do that.)

Thor of course was exempted from such petty distinctions, because ‘family, what can you do’.

Then when they went from talking to Tony masturbating for Loki’s viewing pleasure, it turned from 'nothing to tell' and ‘why risk another argument' to downright splitting his reality.

The prisoner of the Avengers who was rightfully kept in a secure location for everybody's sake was Thor's brother. And then there was Loki, who he spent now more nights with than not. The distinction went so far, that he could not put the picture of Loki sitting in his lounge chair talking about some memory from Asgard over the man he had crossed words with and who had put him through a window before the battle of New York. Not that he was actually trying.

Sometimes, when the cage came up in a conversation like today, a sense of dread gripped him by the neck, but he was getting better and better at shutting it down.

Most often he did what he also did now: he threw himself at his work. He did not even notice that Bucky did not come down to look at the specs after all.

-

After Tony had confessed at brunch, Bucky had soon left the table and wandered the tower, telling himself that he was aimlessly drifting but ending up at the prison floor. Of course.

He was still debating if he should enter the additionally fortified room at the end of the corridor when he heard the elevator and slipped into a door to the side. He needed to tell Tony later that it was not a good idea to have assassin hiding spaces right next to your secret super prison.

Through the crack he left open, he saw Thor walking by carrying what looked like leftovers from their brunch. Did they feed him with scraps? Bucky's stomach fell. He did not know what to think. All of the Avengers had been nothing but welcoming towards him. He could not imagine them mistreating a prisoner, Thor's brother even.

Bucky had noticed that Thor would disappear for a few hours everyday. As he was not returning now, Bucky was guessing that he was visiting his brother in that time. It didn't make sense in either direction, imprisoning your own brother but then spending hours every day with him. He would never be able to make more sense of this without seeing what lay behind that door. 

He speculated it would be a long time before Thor left, but there was nowhere he needed to be, and he could ask JARVIS to help him research a few topics while he waited.

-

Bucky did not know what he had expected. Maybe somebody more massive, with less of a broad smile on his face and definitely less cheery.

"Sergeant James Barnes. What a pleasure to meet you here," Loki greeted him. He waved his hand at the wall between them, "In my most humble abode."

And maybe less sassy.

The man behind the glass was just wearing an all-black long sleeve shirt and black slacks but managed to carry an air of poise nonetheless.

“Hi,” Bucky said.

“What can I do for you, Sergeant? Or may I call you James?” Loki seemed to be elated by his visit.

“James is fine.” He couldn’t say why he had come here. Yes, he needed to see the Avenger's POW with his own eyes. Was that right? He was not actually an enemy soldier but … What was he actually?

“So, I hear you tried to occupy Earth and conquer mankind?” How about that for a conversation starter?

Loki's delight was replaced by determined attention decorated with a broad smile. “I did.”

“What happened?” Bucky was not actually sure what he was asking.

“Did your friends not sing praise for one another's heroic battle feats?” Loki's tone was all sugar now. “How a band of Earth's mightiest defeated the insane alien god and his army?”

“No, they really didn't. I got that part from everywhere else.” Bucky was still not sure where this was going. “But there is almost two years between that and you ending up in here.”

“Nobody seemed so eager to keep me around the first time.”

Great, Loki was now amused by his rambling talking points. He tried to get at least some order in his thoughts. “But you didn't come back either.” That earned Bucky even more amusement. “I guess my question is, do you want to try it again? With the conquering and subjugation and ruling?”

Loki grinned at him. “Is this a proposition?”

Bucky snarled in frustration over his inability to understand his own line of thought. “No, it's a question!”

Loki took his time to feign thinking about it. Finally, he said, “Why don’t you open the door and we find out?”

“Yeah, how about ‘no’?” Bucky answered dryly. “Besides, I'm pretty sure it's not that easy.” He thought for a moment. “JARVIS, would I be able to let him out?”

“No,” JARVIS answered instantaneously. “That would be considered inappropriately dangerous behavior.”

Bucky squinted. “Because there is appropriately dangerous behavior?” He thought about who installed these rules in the first place. “Of course, there is. Forget the question.”

Loki spoke up again. “So, they threw away the key. Pity, we will never find out if I am a changed man.”

Bucky felt fixated by Loki's unwavering stare.

Loki continued, “Or wasn't that the point of this fun exercise?”

“Tony and your brother certainly could open this thing,” Bucky answered.

“Oh, do you want to take a seat while we wait for them to burst through the door, rescuing me from my cell?” Loki's voice was not even sarcastic but pitiful, obviously wondering how Bucky got along afflicted by this degree of naiveté.

“Maybe Thor would like to,” Bucky considered. “He paid you an awful long visit today and I would guess that is where he disappears to every day.”

And Loki was back to amused again. “You followed him and waited him out.” He considered that for a moment. “Did they even tell you what they are hiding down here?”

Bucky tried not to show his irritation at the topic. “They did.”

Loki seemed to see through him. “According to your face they told you just now and not because they meant to.”

“It never came up.” Bucky was not about to have this conversation.

Loki shrugged casually. “I can't imagine in which context the discussion of incarceration possibilities for inhumanely strong and gifted individuals would come up.”

Bucky bit his lip. That was answer enough for Loki.

“That is what I thought.” He grinned. “But it appears I am not going to get a new house mate.” He pulled up one eyebrow. “Yet.”

“You wouldn't like that anyway. I hog the covers.” Bucky gave a grin that he did not feel. He was sure it did look like a grimace. “And nobody even suggested to lock me up.”

Loki fixated him with a stare again before he asked, his voice deep and soft, ”Do you think they should?”

Bucky reeled while staring at Loki. This had not even been a thought in his head, but now that Loki had said it, he found it to be the thing that had driven him here. It was so obvious he cringed. He made the connection to what he had researched with JARVIS’ help while waiting for Thor to leave.

“I looked it up and we killed about the same amount of people.” Bucky tried at a matter of fact tone of voice. “I understand that you were not working on your own agenda but for these weird aliens. And you are Thor's brother, who obviously cares for you.”

“And you compare that to your relationship with the Captain and how Hydra used you?”

Bucky could only wonder if Loki knew everything that was going on outside his cell.

“There is just one major flaw in your reasoning,” Loki continued, “I was never under total control of 'the weird aliens'.”

“And yet you never came back to try again at your own accord,” Bucky insisted.

Loki shook his head slightly. “I had a great time here. The Hulk made sure I admired the flooring up in the penthouse intimately. But I found it not enticing enough to go for seconds.”

Bucky took that in for a moment.

“So, you do not plan to conquer Earth any longer which makes all this,” Bucky motioned at everything around him, “a bit excessive.”

'And that's it,' Bucky's mind supplied. Loki was sure he would not go back to his objectives of three years ago. But Bucky couldn’t say the same for himself. Loki said that he was not brainwashed, and it was his reasoning why he was in a cell and Bucky was not. But it was supposed to be the other way around. Bucky could be reverted to the Winter Soldier state within minutes. Maybe not enough to attack anyone he knew, at least he hoped so. But that would also just hold until the next wiping.

He could not avoid his body getting rigid at the memories, that came with thinking about the chair and the wipings. He never resisted it, as the Winter Soldier did not resist, but that never made it any less of a horror. He knew there was nothing to do against the process, but every time they began, something in his mind just fought and clawed at the intrusion which made it that much worse. It pulled on every reflex and he had broken his own bones in the beginning while his body tried to free itself under some kind of self-preservation instinct of his brain. When this initial barrier was passed, the real pain began. In normal situations the brain would just shut down at a certain level and duration of pain and make a person pass out, but either the serum or the machine actively controlling his brain made sure that never happened.

Loki clearing his throat brought Bucky’s attention back to the then and there. He was looking inquisitively at Bucky.

“I am not sure I see that you should be in there anymore than I should,” Bucky said.

Loki took another moment to study his face earnestly before displaying a mild smile. “If you ever want to argue my release with Thor or Stark, I will not refuse. Although I might request you do it here, so I can watch.”

Bucky was just not in a place where he could find the funny part of all this. “That wasn't what I had in mind.”

Loki's answer was a sympathetic sigh which startled Bucky. “And that is the very difference that your friends up there see between us, isn't it? You would voluntarily confine yourself to a prison cell to atone for what somebody made you do while I will leave this cage if I ever get the chance, not caring who I have to go through.”

“The difference is,” Bucky put all the anger he felt at that condescending statement into his tone, ”I would be putting the Asset in a prison cell to keep everybody safe from it. It just happens that it means to put away everything else I am with it.”

It was as if somebody had put the missing cog into Loki's head. Bucky could almost see the conclusions all clicking into place.

“You do not trust yourself,” Loki finally said curiously. “But they have no knowledge of the situation, do they? Otherwise you would be negotiating this with them instead of having a pointless argument with me – What does keep you from confiding in the good Captain?”

“I don't know,” Bucky had to admit. “I am grateful that he found me and brought me here.”

Loki made no attempts to talk before Bucky could voice the inevitable ‘but’.

“But he made this one decision for me and I don’t want him to make anymore of these. When I see that I need to be … inhibited, I need to be sure I am able to follow through.”

“Given your history, it would be understandable when Captain Rogers would not have you locked away on chance alone. But does his word alone make everyone else fall in line?”

There was a short pause and, Bucky thought, a moment of hesitation before Loki continued, “From what I understand Stark especially seems to challenge the Captain on his decisions regularly. An uncontrolled assassin in his tower might be something he would take some offense to.”

Bucky had to shake his head slightly to get a grip on which turn this day had taken. “Are you so desperate for a bunk mate that we are now brainstorming how to get me thrown in there with you?” He sincerely smiled at Loki.

“If you continue to be this interesting, I have a plethora of ideas.” Loki simply replied with a smirk of his own.

“Maybe the next time I come by. If that is okay?” Bucky asked carefully.

“I am not really in any position to deny anyone access here, or make them stay for that matter. I think it is considered part of the concept.” Loki's face was all schooled neutrality.

“I won't return if I am unwelcome,” was Bucky's simple answer.

Loki took that in with a nod. “I would not mind continuing this conversation.”

Bucky grinned, “Aw, if you ask so nicely, sugar...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, they met. :D
> 
> I'm always looking forward to your comments. They always make my day.


	13. Do We Have a Problem?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony spend time in the workshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brokenEisenglas still makes this fic so much better by being a great beta reader.

Tony had upgraded the kitchen since Bucky started to cook regularly. There were one or two new appliances every week. When Tony had exchanged the state of the art induction cooking top and oven for a contraption called AGA, Bucky was thrown. He had gotten used to the ones they had before and getting used to new ones was something that was just keeping him distracted from trying the oven roasted carré of lamb that looked so good when he found it. Even the people from his online cooking forum had no idea what to make of the new thing.

He had gone down to the workshop to tell Tony as much, but when he saw the happy excitement on Tony’s face he reconsidered.

“And how do you like it?” Tony smiled at him. 

“I haven’t really used it yet. Just made some eggs.”

“I thought it might be closer to what you had back in the forties. To a coal oven that is. Did you already have gas? I could get a gas cooking top installed too if you want. ”

Ah, that was where Tony was coming from. Bucky didn’t have the heart to tell him that the stoves they had back then were nothing like the British monster that had taken over the penthouse kitchen. He just smiled back at Tony. “Thank you. That was very thoughtful.”

And so Bucky spent a week trying to create dishes with the thing and failing. (Steve and Thor scarfed the results down anyway while Bucky rolled his eyes. At least the food wasn’t going to waste.) After that week he finally felt sure enough to try the carré of lamb and it came out perfectly tender and juicy. He put together two plates and marched down to the workshop to insist Tony ate it. Bucky told him about how the low temperature and long cooking time made the tastes and consistency. Tony listened as if nothing made him happier and in turn Bucky felt better than he had all week while pulling half cold, half burned roasts out of the oven.

~

When Bucky visited the workshop he always made sure to bring coffee no matter what time of day it was. Sometimes Tony explained to him what he was doing, sometimes Bucky just put down the coffee and settled on the couch or played with the bots. Tony insisted that he shouldn't spoil them, but often Bucky caught him smiling at whatever antics they got up to.

When Tony was not welding or cutting something, Bucky often sidled up beside him to observe what he was doing, intently ignoring common conceptions of personal space. He liked the physical contact and Tony did not complain either. 

Tony was seated in front of some complicated wiring and waited about thirty seconds before complaining, “Not that I don't like the limpet love affair you have going on with my arm, but I actually need it if I want to work on this and not just stare at it.”

“Oh, my bad,” Bucky said ostensibly courteous and moved to Tony's back standing behind him to observe over his shoulders. He could practically hear Tony roll his eyes, but he started to work again. Bucky wondered if he could change that.

He gave it about a minute before he put his hands on Tony's shoulders and leaned over, under the pretense of getting a better look at what he was currently doing. When he retracted he kept his hands in place and started to rub lightly. Tony, obviously distracted, slowed down in his otherwise frantic handling of tools. Bucky smiled to himself.

“I’m tempted to make this obligatory if you want to hang out here,” Tony said after a few minutes.

“No problem with that,” Bucky said softly, moving his hands further down Tony's back. Usually Tony let him do things like this: initiate contact, have Bucky closer than strictly necessary, but Tony himself never started it nor did he take it further. 

He flirted with Bucky like his life depended on it and Bucky hadn’t been sure if it was just a habit or something more but didn’t see someone else get that kind of attention.

Tony gave a content sigh under his hands.

“Feels good?” Bucky asked. “With you hanging over these tables all day, you might actually need someone to do that regularly.”

Tony's hands had stopped working all together. Bucky was pretty sure that he had closed his eyes.

He worked his way all down Tony's back pressing him forward to lean on the table. He was not sure if he imagined the hitch in Tony's breathing at that, but he kept it in mind anyway. When he reached the hem of the shirt he slipped his hands under it earning a shudder.

“That okay?”

From Tony only came a content hum.

Bucky worked his way back up under the shirt. Tony seemed relaxed enough that it felt alright to ask, “Would be easier to do your neck without the shirt.”

“Trying to get me naked one piece at a time?” Tony laughed.

“Do I need an elaborate scheme for that? I thought I'd just ask nicely.”

Tony swung around on his lab stool and looked up at Bucky, while removing his shirt, only losing eye contact for a moment. Afterwards he said, “Now, if I ask nicely, will you pull off yours, too?”

So maybe the flirting was more than pure habit. “Is only fair,” Bucky answered and stripped his shirt. Tony’s gaze wandered over Bucky's exposed chest and stomach, but he made no attempt to touch.

Bucky stepped closer and put his hands back on Tony's shoulders kneading them, as if this was still all that was on his mind.

After some moments, he felt hands on the backs of his thighs, hesitant and light. Bucky still had the feeling that Tony might easily be scared away. He continued to work Tony's neck and shoulders, and Tony’s grip became firmer, his thumbs rubbing little circles over the cloth of Bucky's pants. He moved one of his own hands to the back of Tony's head leading it with gentle pressure to rest against his stomach. He enjoyed the feel of Tony's hair and the skin of his forehead pressed against his front. His own dick was starting to show interest but he tried to will it down, as this was still technically a harmless massage.

He kneaded Tony's neck and moved slowly up to his scalp. The extended silence on Tony's part might have made him nervous, wondering if Tony liked what he was doing, but the hands on the back of his thighs were a warm reassurance.

He was about to admit to himself that this would not stay a harmless massage and suggest moving to the couch when JARVIS spoke up. “I am sorry to interrupt, Sir, but Captain Rogers just entered the elevator to come to the workshop.”

Tony went rigid under Bucky's fingers for a second before his head shot up. He shoved Bucky aside already grabbing for his shirt.

Bucky looked at him, not at all amused by the urgency that dictated his movements.

A second later when Tony was redressed, he grabbed Bucky's shirt and threw it at him. “You have about ten seconds,” Tony said before frantically scanning the workshop.

Bucky grudgingly decided to go along and put the shirt back on while Tony tried to put his workbench in order which made no sense, given that it was never in order.

Bucky did not manage to hide his scowl when Steve entered the lab.

“Hey, there you are.” He paused, irritated by Bucky's expression. “Everything okay between you two?” he asked looking over at Tony, who was prodding at the wires with a screwdriver in a ridiculous attempt to appear busy.

“Yeah,” Bucky added sharply. “Do we have a problem?”

“Nope,” Tony said cheerfully. “I'll add this to the do list for the arm, no problem.”

“The arm?” Bucky asked confused.

“Yes, the thing you just told me, about the … sensitivity issue. I'll figure it out. Just give me a few days,” Tony said.

Tony looked desperate in the attempt of covering his overly nervous reaction. Bucky decided to take it as the dismissal it was.

“You figure it out and let me know what you come up with,” he said, already on his way out the door.

-

“I…” Steve trailed off looking over his shoulder at the door closing behind Bucky.

“Yes, what can I do for you?” Tony asked putting on a smile that from the feel of it most likely looked like he was about murder six teenagers in a cabin.

Steve furrowed his brow for a moment in obvious puzzlement before setting his jaw. “I’m sorry if I interrupted. I actually wanted to ask you if you have time to join team training today.”

Tony’s thoughts, that had still flitted around Bucky leaving like that and Steve witnessing it, let him only understand what Steve was saying after the silence had already stretched for several seconds.

“I haven’t been to training for weeks now.”

“Exactly – It would be good to do some team maneuvers. I know you are good at improvising–”

“You told me I should be focussing on my work.”

Steve frowned for a moment but for once it didn’t seemed directed at Tony. “Yes, because you looked like you hadn’t slept in days and I knew you were working extra hours on finding Bucky.”

“And your reaction was to ask me to stop coming to team training?”

“I didn’t … You had been running late that day. Again. It didn’t seem that high on your priority list. I hoped it would take some pressure out. ”

Tony huffed coldly. “Sure thing. Worked out great.”

Steve’s face was actually twisting from emotion to emotion. “I’m sorry if I misjudged the situation. You should have told me.”

Tony thought about why he hadn’t. Why he still didn’t tell Steve what was going on.

Steve interrupted that line of thinking. “With the extra project done and everything back to normal, you should come this evening.”

Normal. Tony thought about it. Normal as in back to the status of 5 months ago. Even if he wanted to go back, he couldn’t. For even more reasons now than an hour ago.

“I’m sorry. There is still a lot of stuff I need to finish today. Maybe another time.”

Steve looked at him, as if trying to decide if to push further. Eventually, he nodded. “All right. I’ll leave you to it.”

“Yeah, good luck with the training.” Tony looked back down on the wiring that made no sense now that he looked at it and heard the door close behind Steve.

-

What had he been thinking? Tony was not sure where Bucky was coming from, but he was sure where they both were decidedly not heading.

Yes, the bodily contact had been so good. So fucking good. He had not even been aware that he was craving being touched this much. But could he actually say that it was Bucky he wanted? Or just somebody? Or a specific other person?

So, no making out with Bucky. He could do that.

Tony put the soldering iron away to rub at his face. There were so many things wrong with this that he was hopping from one to another in beating himself up about it.

He had had his fascination with Captain America as a kid, but as a teenager there had been a phase where his longtime friend James Barnes had peaked another kind of interest. It had been not more than crush-like fascination he had for about a year, but as it had been Tony who had this fascination, he had acquired about any information that had been available concerning Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. And some that was not available to the public. And pictures, a whole lot of pictures. Tony felt a blush creeping up his neck at the thought.

The file was still sitting on a secure private server, after he had digitized it with all his other paper files in his twenties. He had looked at it for the first time in a decade after the Winter Soldier had been in DC. Now he was honestly considering deleting it for the first time.

It was harmless. Information on a war hero gathered by a kid with a lot of resources and too many skills. Some of which he had acquired during this project. But now harmless did not cut it any more. This was creepy, right? Did this constitute stalking? It couldn't. Could it?

Tony really needed to calm down. He could delete the file, and everything would be fine. Yeah. And no more nakedness around Bucky. Not even in parts. Either of them.

He had become so used to Bucky's presence over the last weeks that he almost forgot who he was. Sergeant Barnes had become Bucky who was interested in Tony's work and just hung out for no other reason than being around. Who had taken a liking to the bots which were considered disturbing by most other people. Who used flirting as distraction as much as Tony did and had no conception of personal space to speak of.

But James Barnes was Steve's long-lost friend. Steve who almost had walked in on them. Oh fuck. That would have been it. He would have thrown him off the team and most likely put a restraining order on him. Tony wasn't on the team technically anyway but still.

He could imagine the conversation, 'Tony, what were you thinking?' 'James has already been through enough.' 'Can’t you keep your hands to yourself for once?' 'He is not able to leave the tower. Of course he looks for affection here. How could you take advantage of that?'

And that would just be because Steve had no idea what Tony did at night. There would be hell to pay if he ever got any wind of that, even without Tony molesting Steve's oldest friend.

So, now, he was hiding both from everybody. Great! That always turned out so well. But apart from Steve's certain dislike to the matter there was no reason to stop going down to the cage, was there?

He was not giving away any more information than Thor already did. He was not compromising on his work for the team. If anything, he was more productive with actual sleep in between. Thor's brother was as safely locked away in his cell as he was the first day he got here. So, no reason to stop.

Everything was fine. All he needed to do was to keep his clothes on when Bucky was around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make sure you don't forget: I love all your comments. ;)


	14. As I Were

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always a big thank you to brokenEisenglas for beta.

“Pizza? Again?” Loki asked incredulously.

“It certainly does not count as again if it is different pizza. It is from another place and has other things on it than the one I had brought yesterday.” Thor scowled.

Loki sighed. “It is fine.” He was not going to start an argument over pizza, at least not before he got his hands on it.

Thor set one of the cartons in the airlock. “The pizza maker is one of Clint's favorites. He says it is the best in all of New York.”

Loki arched an eyebrow. “You have not told him who you were ordering for, did you?”

He contemplated shortly if Barton would make up such an elaborate scheme to kill him: tell Thor about the best pizza restaurant in town, interrupt the delivery, poison one of the pizzas, cover up the tracks, and no, that seemed a bit too complicated. With the spy's skill set and Loki's current predicament there were a dozen ways to kill him that would be easier and far more satisfying.

“No,” Thor said. “He insisted to order from them last week and I liked it.” He gave Loki a worried look. “You know that I would not have brought you here if it wasn't safe. None of the Avengers will lay a hand on you.”

“I am sure they are delighted to have me,” Loki said and went to get the carton from the airlock.

“Clint and Natasha actually left for a mission today. I wanted to go, but they insisted two would be better suited and not draw as much attention.”

Loki just smiled. When they send the spy duo on the mission, it required either stealth or another form of subtlety. Which were both completely foreign traits for Thor. So foreign that he obviously did not even notice why they could not send him.

“Don't look at me like that, Loki,” Thor cut into his thoughts. “I know that no one thinks me suitable of infiltration, but I did not make international headlines when I first came to Midgard.”

Loki was shocked for a moment.

“Now close your mouth and eat,” Thor instructed before biting heartily in the first slice from his first box.

Loki sat and ate in silence while Thor droned on about what meager information he had about the mission and after that about the training he did with the Captain and the one they called the Falcon.

That one had not been around, when Thanos had sent Loki to Midgard. But he seemed to belong to the righteous ones from what Loki could deduct from Thor's and Tony's stories. Although Tony hadn’t talked about the team in a long while, now that Loki thought about it. Had the atmosphere upstairs cleared up or why wasn’t the team on Tony’s mind as much anymore?

Thor most times was simply amazed to have somebody to train air battles against. Although the strength of the Falcon was that of an average human, meaning negligible, he was much more agile in his flying compared to Thor. That made for a good fight and today they had added the Captain as challenge for the Asgardian strength.

“So, you beat each other up for hours and then spent another hour reminiscing how much you all liked it?” Loki asked.

“Steve insists on training tactical maneuvers every time.” Loki could see how that annoyed Thor. “But in the end, we challenge each other without restraints and today as most often, I was victorious.” Thor's smile was as wide as his face.

“You do not expect me to compliment you on that, do you?” Loki asked coldly.

“Brother, we had a lot of fun on the training grounds at home. Do you remember? When we were younger?” Thor tried again to nudge some kind of nostalgia out of him.

“You, Sif and the Warriors Three had a lot of fun. I was obligated to join you if I liked it or not.”

“Obligated? By whom? Nobody could make you do anything.” Thor laughed good-naturedly. “I remember, when one of the warriors overseeing the grounds wanted you to use the training weapons instead of your own spear. How you made it so he was unable to see his own weapon even when it was right before him. He was stumbling about feverishly, swearing that he put it right there. In the end he tripped over it. It was the talk amongst the warriors for days.”

“They never asked you to put down Mjölnir for some training weapon,” Loki griped. “And he was not part of the inner circles of the palace. If he would have been one of Odin's generals—”

“You cannot ridicule one of the generals without endangering the morale of all the men,” Thor chided him with a smile still on his face.

“Meaning the individual has no value in Asgard. It is the use to the warriors and therefore the use for Odin that is everything that counts.” Loki paused, looking Thor in the eye. ”And from some point it was the use to you.”

“Nobody forced you to do anything, Loki.” All mirth had disappeared from Thor’s face and had been replaced with a serious almost hurt expression. “You could have walked away from it. Your strength was not in fighting on the battlefield, and we knew that.”

“How could I have walked away? To what? We were both set for the throne, and the throne is bound to the warriors.” Loki was angry about having to spell it out for Thor — again. “A king is always ready for war.”

“There always was just one throne. You could have just left me to it.”

“There was not just one throne, but that is something Odin did tell neither of us.” Loki noticed detached how cold his own tone had gotten. If he would have let himself feel the emotion connected to the words, he would have been not able to say them.

“Our purpose was to serve Asgard and our roles were that of princes. Even after it became abundantly clear that I would never be the one to inherit the throne, I could have never turned my back on it. My purpose became to secure your rule. In ways you could not.”

Thor looked at him with a bunched brow.

“When your enemies just fell so easy because their forces were weakened by unlucky bouts of illness? When the generals challenging your war strategies were discredited by their dealings with thieves and other unsavory people. When only news of good tidings from the battlefields reached Asgard. I did not win your wars brother, but I secured that throne for you.” Loki held Thor's eye, not blinking.

“If so brother, why then did you disrupt my coronation and topple any claim I had to the throne when setting me up against Jotunheim?”

Loki had waited for that question for years now. Three years ago, he would just have told Thor that taking the throne had been the sole purpose of his ruse. Two years ago, he would have told him that he needed to soil the picture of the perfect crown prince. At the beginning of his time in the tower he would have insisted that it had been a challenge, laid out for the king to be, but now?

“I did not plan it out to the minute, nor could I foresee what you and Odin would do. There were only two possible outcomes, however: it was either bound to strengthen your position as king, felling Asgard's sworn enemy of generations, or if you didn’t succeed, it would have finally broken you away from Father and the power he would’ve had over you, king or not.” Loki took a deep breath. “I will admit that some part of me surely wanted to see you fail … if only to bring you down enough to be able to reach you once more.”

Both were silent for the moment.

“I did not plan for your absence and the Odin sleep. And I did not see myself as I were...” Loki still felt the echo from the pain over realizing that his whole life had been a lie and he was not even the less worthy son. Thor looked at him as if seeing him for the first time after ages. 

Loki let his eyes sink and stared blankly into the ground.

After what felt like hours he picked up his box again and started to chew on a slice.

“It is nice pizza.”

Thor nodded in silent agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least some people are talking to each other here. It's a start...
> 
> Your comments are balm to poor writer's heart. :D


	15. I Cannot Relate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony share something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank brokenEisenglas enough for her beta as I would probably despair over every single chapter without her.

Tony came by later that night. Loki was not hungry again but looked forward to whatever tidbit of world history would be presenting today's meal … and the topic was Mesoamerican culture before colonization.

“I had to finish some things earlier than expected today.” Loki guessed that was probably due to Hawkeye and Black Widow taking off. “But I worked it out and that will create some space for my new favorite project.” 

Loki hadn’t heard anything about that yet. “And what would that be?” 

Tony looked at him as if surprised that he would ask such a question. “Well, a bio-technological interface. A specialized tool if you will.” 

By now, Tony was usually more forthcoming with explaining what his new ideas were all about. Loki tried to not get irritated by him trying to hedge this specific information. 

“You could also use that time for training. Thor told me today that he somehow could not be bested by your teammates. That is something that you probably could rectify.” It was a gamble telling Tony about what information he got from Thor and asking for even more from him. Especially if it concerned the other Avengers. But since he had realized that Tony had not talked about them for a while, he could not pry his thoughts away from the topic.

Tony looked at him considering, then just sighed. “I don’t think training is good idea right now. Except if they need a bad example.”

“Is that what they told you?” Loki could vividly remember the night Tony had told him about being asked to leave the training. He could not hinder that his words sounded heated even to his own ears.

“No, actually … they invited me back, I guess, but I’m a consultant, after all. Always was. We may have been a team for some time, but I tried to cut down some to—” He looked at Loki, uncertainty flashing across his face for a moment. “— for Pepper. To make it work. It of course didn't, but here we are. The team did not work for me either.”

Loki knew about the relationship between Tony and Pepper Potts. Thor was staggered when he returned from Asgard and they had separated. Then it already had been more than six months. All that and more was part of Thor’s ramblings in the first week after Loki had been brought to the tower. But as to why they had ended their relationship, either Thor had not heard about it or for once decided it to be a private matter that did not need to be dragged out as a convenient conversation topic.

“Reducing your engagement with the Avengers did not help your relationship with Miss Potts?” Loki inquired carefully.

“If so, it was not enough. By now I think maybe it was not supposed to be. Pepper is great, and we are good together, but being together is a completely different thing. Have you ever had that — somebody being the best person to be in your life, but making it more will destroy it?”

“I cannot say that I have.” Loki could not even say that there had been a lot of people he would have considered good to be in his life. Useful, surely. Necessary, more than he liked. Amusing, some for a while. But good was just not a category that he had ever considered. Now that he did, only two people came to mind. One was dead and the other too complex to reduce to good or bad.

And of course, there were two new people now that posed their own conundrum.

He looked at Tony pensively. The man was looking right back, still the unidentified emotion from before on his face. He was giving Loki more and more access to himself and, somehow distant, Loki thought if he wanted to continue that, he should be giving something in return. It made sense from a tactical standpoint. Also, it felt easy somehow.

“There were never a lot of people close. There were a lot of people around, most of them with a lot of titles, but I learned early on that being a prince means that every person has an agenda. Which included parts of my family.” Loki smiled wryly, Tony not mirroring the gesture.

“Every relationship,” Loki found the word oddly difficult to use, “would come with ulterior purposes. There were some that were more durable than others, but they were not supposed to be transcending the need for companionship or other desires. So, no, I cannot relate.”

“And here I thought I would be winning the pity fest.” Tony was smiling but his eyes were still intensely focused on Loki as if looking for something.

“Sorry to outclass you again,” Loki quipped right back.

There was another moment of silence in which Loki thought they would move on from the topic, but then Tony blundered, “So, you are just not the long term commitment kind of guy?”

Loki wondered what answer Tony was looking for. That depended on what he considered their meetings to be. Loki had thought about that but never came to a definite answer. Tony shared himself with Loki, came to him, let himself be controlled by him. With a unbreakable barrier between them at all times. He shut the thoughts down as he had become very apt in doing.

He gave a non-answer; let Tony do with it as he pleased. “I am very committed to this place for the next decades, mostly thanks to you.”

Tony took it for what it was, gave an annoyed grin and left it at that.

“Where were we, yes, team practice: not my jam these days. Nobody is really upset about it.”

“And the world is so safe these days that they have no problem missing a strong ally?” Loki was not convinced.

“If you had not just sworn eternal love to your room with a view, I could think that you are scheming again when you ask these questions.”

Tony meant it as a light-hearted deflection, so Loki tried to ignore the anger rising at the insinuation of betrayal. Tony shouldn't be trusting him and that he didn't just proved Loki's assessment of his intelligence right again. But he was not able to deny that it hurt.

Instead he turned the conversation back to Tony. “The way you keep avoiding the topic, one could think you actually have more conflicting feelings about the team than you admit. You do not by any chance feel threatened by the Captain’s friend that recently moved in.”

That got a reaction out of Tony. His face fell and he sprang to his feet. He made for the door, and Loki thought he would just leave without a word when he stopped for a moment, turned around and started pacing.

After a minute of silent pacing and what looked like a stormy inner debate, Tony started talking. “First, I really need to talk to Thor about what the word classified means. Second, I do not feel threatened. He is not part of the team and that will be the case for some time. Third, I would suggest that we add him to the list of things we do not talk about because we will end at this point every time: You cannot ask any questions about him.”

Loki was reeling, surprised by the fierce reaction. What was this about? That classified Avengers information was off limits was well established between them. Although by now they ignored it often enough. He knew that James’ presence was only known to the Avengers, as he was searched for by Hydra and several governments, but Loki was not in any position to use this information. Had he just revealed too much about the amount of information he had regarding the things taking place in the rest of the tower?

Concerned that Tony would leave after all, Loki tried to placate him. “No further word about it then.” He thought about the last thing Tony had seemed to be really enjoying (apart from getting told how beautiful he looked while slowly getting himself off for Loki’s viewing pleasure). “Would you care to continue with this series you made me watch last week? What was it? Star Trek?”

Tony gave him a long considering stare but, after a moment of silent pondering, took the peace offering. “You haven't watched more of it, yet? It will take years to get you caught up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always love your comments, but the ones on the last chapter were especially important to me as they helped me get over a really bad writing mood.  
> Thank you all so much 💖


	16. A Strategically Sound Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a rough night.

Bucky woke up in his completely dark bedroom. As he never drew the curtains, this meant it was too early. He usually was woken by the first specs of light coming in at dawn, but now the sky was still pitch black.

He tried to just turn and fall back asleep, but there was no point. He was wide awake.

He got up before he could start to ponder why his body just decided that tonight a few hours were enough rest. Especially before he could think about what had followed the last two times he had woken in the middle of the night.

Insomnia was nothing special and happened to a lot of people. There was no need for alarm.

He just needed something to settle him. He could have simply used the small kitchen in Steve's apartment, but just maybe there would be somebody on the communal floor.

The wait for the elevator drew itself out. It never took that long. Bucky opened and closed his fists alternately pumping his arm muscles on the right and working the servos on the left arm, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, stretching the other out respectively.

Finally, the ding of the arriving cab came. He looked at the open door for a few seconds and decided to take the stairs.

He did not run up, that would have been a pointless thing to do. He may have hurried and taken a few steps at a time. He started when he suddenly stood before the access to the roof instead of the exit to the penthouse.

He went back down and made his way into the communal kitchen.

There was something about warm milk and sleep that people said, so why not. He pulled some from the fridge put it in a mug and warmed it in the microwave.

He took it out and just poured it down in one go. That was probably not how to do this. It sure as hell wasn't calming him down. He glared down at the mug. Why couldn't just one thing work like it was supposed to?

He hurled the mug into the sink where it broke into large chunks with a loud clang.

He let out a long breath, shook his head and started to gather the pieces to throw in the trash.

Most likely it was just pent up energy. Nothing he could not get out with enough exercise.

He did not attempt to get on the elevator but rushed down the stairs to the gym. He felt himself moving on autopilot while he changed. Next thing, he was going to the shooting range. He stopped.

He needed to go to the weight room or the treadmill. That was where he could let go of this tension, the pressure that was searching for an outlet.

He just needed to turn around and go back. It was just back where he came from. He just had taken a wrong turn. He just needed to turn around.

He was painfully aware of himself not turning around but standing still in the hall heading to the range. To the storage for training weapons.

The moment drew on. He still was not moving.

There was no reason for him to stand here like an idiot. He just needed to move. In the opposite direction.

He flexed his fingers. The pull of muscles was reassuring.

Just fucking move, asshole.

He was still not moving.

What's your fucking problem? You had no fucking problem running here. Just move. Turn around.

He had not noticed how his heartbeat had ramped up, but now he was already breathing heavily.

He was pathetic. What was he trying to prove here. He knew there was a reason why he took the left and not the right turn. He didn’t need to decide where to go. He knew where to go. He didn't need to think, he needed to follow.

With a shudder he took a first step in the direction of the range and then strut forward.

Knives first. He looked down at his gym cloth. That was less than optimal, but there were belts in the storage and some holsters. He got one belt with a set of throwing knives and strapped it on. He added a combat knife in a leg holster.

Guns. No point in rifles for close range combat. He took a holster with two nine millimeters and two extra clips. That should suffice. He rechecked the straps and every single weapon. Then he closed the door of the storage.

He let out a breath, slumping to the floor.

This was bad. This was really bad. The first time, the Asset had been content with taking perch in different parts of the tower, mapping the whereabouts and movements of its inhabitants, analyzing them. The next and last time, it started out the same, but then had shadowed Natasha after deciding she was the most imminent threat until Bucky could tear himself away after two hours.

He had told himself then that nothing had actually happened. The Asset had not planned to attack anyone. It had just done surveillance.

Now it had armed itself. Bucky felt in control again, but he did not trust it. He stood up. He opened the door to the storage again. Laid a hand on the belt buckle. He could not bring himself to open it. The weight of the holsters and the belt felt good. Familiar. Right.

So, no disarming anytime soon.

He closed the door again, leaning his forehead against the cool metal. He could just stay here and wait for the Asset to retreat. It had done so the last two times. He had no idea when that would be, but it was still very early morning. He could just give it a few hours and try to get rid of the weapons as soon as possible.

He left the range with long strides.

He made it to floor fifty-four without further incidents. Loki was doing something on his tablet. When he looked up he smiled at Bucky before taking in the complete picture.

“Should I be concerned?” He did not look concerned.

Bucky slumped down on the couch. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“You came here to not talk about it. Very reasonable.”

“I just didn’t want to be alone,” Bucky said, soft enough that he wasn’t sure that Loki would hear it.

But Loki hummed with a small nod.

“Anything else you would like to talk about?” he asked after a moment.

“Can you just tell me something? Something light? What was your childhood like?” Bucky knew his voice was pleading, but it felt like there was nothing else left to him.

“I don't know if that is something you would consider ‘light’,” Loki said.

“What did you do when you were left to your own devices? What did you do for fun?” Bucky suggested drawing from his own memories he found most soothing.

“When Odin was away, we could sometimes sneak out for a day. Escape lessons, training and any royal functions. When we were small Thor and I would just troll through the gardens all day, finding enough to occupy us...”

-

Bucky woke to Loki watching him intently.

“How are you feeling?”

Instead of answering, Bucky sat up and grabbed at the belt buckle. He opened it and threw the knives to the other end of the couch.

“Better,” he answered. Mostly he felt empty but for now he was willing to consider it progress.

“Care to talk about it now?” Loki asked.

Bucky sighed and rubbed his face. “Remember what I told you about the Asset? That it is still there, just not on the surface? That was it.”

Loki contemplated that for a moment. “You were still there. You asked me about my childhood-”

“Yeah, that was me. But the Asset was also there. It's the reason for all this.” He made a wide gesture over the weapons. He shuddered at the thought what kind of damage it would be able to cause with the selection. 

“It made you arm yourself. That is not a bad idea.”

Bucky closed his eyes and just shook his head. “It's getting worse. No way to tell what it does the next time.”

“Are you concerned for what or on whom it might plan to use the weapons?” Loki asked his tone completely unconcerned and mostly curious.

“No, it seemed content having them. But it considers some people in the tower threats. That is really bad.” Bucky looked at Loki making sure he got the scale of the problem.

“Maybe,” Loki smiled in the completely enticing way that said, that he knew he was completely right about whatever he suggested next,”and just maybe, it has a point.”

“What?” Bucky could not believe what he just heard.

“You don't trust them. Not with this,” Loki said. “And you are in a way unable to leave here. Given the circumstances, I think getting weapons is a strategically sound decision. It's what I would do.”

Bucky blanched. He had been wary around Natasha and in some way around the rest of the team. It was insignificant; he knew he was safe. But there was a sliver of reservation that he could not deny. Had the Asset picked up on that? Was he making it appear? Did he want it to?

“You are awfully silent,” Loki said after a while.

“It would be kind of funny, wouldn't it? I don't trust the team, because I know the Asset is still there and that makes the Asset edgy.” He was not smiling.

“I would consider it useful. It can keep any eye out, where you might be blind,” Loki suggested.

“You think I should trust its judgment?” Bucky asked skeptically.

“It led you here last night, didn’t it?” Loki grinned back at him.

-

It felt strange for Bucky to come to the workshop again. It had become so normal in the last month and then Tony had thrown his shirt in his face three days ago. Bucky had planned to talk about it with Tony but had given himself some time to cool down. And then last night happened.

What Loki had said regarding the Asset, was still on the forefront of his mind. He did trust Tony. He practically gravitated towards him. That was why he spent so much time in the lab. He even had let him work on the arm. He trusted Tony.

But he hadn't said anything about his episodes. 

Until now there hadn't been something to tell, really. Lurking around for a day, while feeling off. He couldn't see Tony taking that seriously. He himself hardly believed it to be important.

But last night was on another level; there were no two ways about it.

Bucky braced himself when he finally entered Tony's workspace. Tony was staring at one of his screens but had noticed him anyway.

“Hi, Bucky.” 

“Hey, I brought coffee.”

That made Tony turn. He smiled at Bucky who thought that he could see some pensive tension beneath it.

He went over and put the cup on the table and leaned over to peek at the screen. “What are you working on?”

He could feel Tony relax beside him. If that was his reaction to being close to Bucky, perhaps it wasn't as bad as he had thought.

“Stuff — Look, about the other day. We are okay, right?”

“Okay?” Bucky asked. He had been okay the whole time, he just wasn’t sure what had gotten into Tony. 

“I mean, I didn't want to make this awkward. I promise it won't happen again.” Tony looked resolved.

“Yeah, I was not sure what actually happened there.”

“I was out of line. I am sorry.”

This was good. Bucky would not throw himself at Tony the very next day, but they could build it back up. Tony understood why he had been upset and apologized. At least that was sorted out. “Thank you.”

“No problem. When you are good, I'm good.” Tony looked relieved. Which took some tension out of Bucky but left enough in its wake.

“I actually came here to talk about something else. You remember the talk we had about, — if I ever wanted to leave you would help?”

Tony looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I’m really sorry. I was way out of line, please don't—”

Bucky cut him off, “Oh no, that came out wrong. I’m not thinking about leaving.” Way to go after they just had cleared the air. Bucky tried for a placating tone. “We are good, it's good.”

Tony was sitting down, but still seemed shaken.

“What I meant was the part where you said you would not consider me dangerous. How would you determine that? And what if that changed?” Bucky really tried to look at Tony's face, but ended up studying his left ear instead.

“First of all: Do you have any memory loss? Any amount of time that you cannot account for?” Tony looked at him not really concerned but inquisitive.

Bucky thought about last night, how he had felt not in control some of the time but he remembered all of it.

But Tony was already rambling on. “And even if you were, I would give it time. It's been only a month that you have been not on the run anymore.”

“And when would you be willing to accept that it doesn't sort itself out?” Bucky asked.

Tony looked at him for the first time really taking in what he was seeing. “It's not about me accepting anything. What's going on?”

This was the point. If Bucky trusted Tony, he should be able to tell him. Why was this so hard?

“I– The Asset– I am not sure it is actually receding. If I’m honest, it seems to be gaining even more control.”

Tony looked at him wrinkles bunching up his brow. “I‘m not a specialist with neurological reprogramming. I certainly can get someone–”

Bucky could not appease the heat in his tone, when he interrupted, “I’m not asking you to solve this.”

“What do you need?” Tony looked at him with honest concern. Bucky wondered why he had not talked to him sooner.

“Just to tell you this. To be able to tell you this. The Asset is still there, and I can’t control it. It sometimes comes back to the surface. And I am not sure how much of a problem that is.”

Tony was silent for a moment and Bucky was grateful for it as he knew every second of it was hard for him.

“Please don't take this the wrong way, but it is really hard to know you are struggling with this and not try to work it out.”

Bucky had understood as much. He nodded slowly to himself. “If you want to, you can make some inquiries to find someone to do whatever, but I think I need some time to mull it over.”

Maybe it was not the worst idea. Maybe it was. Bucky was just too tired to have an opinion about it.

“Of course. Take all the time you need.” Tony was silent for a moment. “And thank you for telling me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've met the Asset and no one died. I would consider this a success.
> 
> -
> 
> A heads-up: I have run into some problems with chapter 20 while editing, and, depending on how it develops, we might go down to one update a week for a bit to give me some breathing space.
> 
> I have not decided yet. There will definitely be an update and new info on Friday.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading.


	17. Any Further Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was betaed by Serinah, brokenEisenglas and Faustess. i owe them all a big thank you.

Tony always had JARVIS stop recording as soon as he entered the room. It just was easier that way. He had also thought about deleting every record that had him coming to the floor, but the pattern of missing recordings would be easily discernible anyway, and he told himself that nobody was looking at the tapes. He told JARVIS to notify him if anyone ever did.

Tony had given up on the anthropology lectures when Loki corrected several of his assumptions concerning the Ottoman empire while they had Turkish food. Loki had been obviously to much more places on Earth than Scandinavia, Germany, and New York.

“You hung around Earth a lot?” Tony asked instead.

“We had many connections to Midgard, until Odin decided that we should limit our interference with other realms. Then we still visited for some time but were more discreet.”

“A bit late to establish a prime directive if you are already considered gods on earth.”

“The Allfather made a decision and no one dared to question his overabundant wisdom.” It sounded almost sincere from Loki’s mouth, if you had never met him before and were a bit on the stupid side.

“Ouch, you sound salty, chocolate chip,” Tony teased him.

“Why would I?” Loki gave back in a calm manner. “All he ever did was for the good of Asgard and that is all anyone could ask for.”

“Like setting his sons against each other in contest for the throne?” There was nothing teasing in Tony's voice this time.

Loki grinned painfully. “There never was any contest. It was part of preparing Thor for ruling. And maybe bring him some strategic advantages.”

“You think it was just a ruse? That either of you could become the next king of Asgard? Because you are adopted? But Thor said that you took over the rule of Asgard twice.”

“Both times when Thor was on Midgard and Odin was — indisposed,” Loki answered, gracefully as ever skipping the parts he did not like, as Tony noticed. “As soon as both of them returned, the proper order of power in Asgard was reinstated.”

“And you were put behind whatever they use on Asgard instead of bars?” They never had gotten a lot of details from Thor.

“The last time. Before Thor took me for this wonderful vacation. The time before I managed to, let's say, slip away.”

“You mean, fake your death and try to subjugate earth?”

Loki's eyes stared at him with far too much intensity and he could not read whatever was on the other’s mind. For all he knew, it could have been hurt, but that did not make any sense. Anyway, Tony did not like it or himself for causing it.

“Ah, that was the thing we are not talking about, because … awkward. Huh?” Tony babbled wishing his mouth would have stayed shut for once. “Did I tell you about that other totally relevant thing with the stuff and, huh …” His stomach was doing flip-flops.

Loki averted his gaze and started to gather the remnants of today's meal to put back into the airlock.

“How did DUM-E react to being assigned to wrench cataloging for the week?” he asked after returning to his seat.

Tony would be eternally grateful for the change of topic. “Don't get me started.” He rolled his eyes. “First, he put two sets in the fridge and when I complained to JARVIS, he said I did not tell DUM-E where to put them, just to find space and write an inventory where he put them. When I told DUM-E to make sure they were in one of the tool drawers and nowhere else, he welded them in.” Tony threw his hands up. “I gave up.”

Loki looked amused and Tony felt the tension drop from his jaw.

After that, their conversation stayed at a comfortable tone, although at least for Tony a sliver of tension remained. Another hour or so later, he had started considering if he should stop himself from asking for sex, when Loki spoke up.

“Tony, darling, will you please retrieve the box?” he asked in a velvety tone.

Tony, maybe too eagerly, opened the sideboard at the back of the room and laid his thumb on the fingerprint scanner on the small safe within. Should Thor ever find the safe, ‘weapon stash’ was the go-to lie Tony had come up with. Knowing Thor, that would not lead to any further questions.

The safe snapped open and Tony took the box out. He stepped back to the glass, enjoying the way he needed to lift his head to look Loki in the eye, and asked, “Where do you want me?”

“On the couch, naked, knees on the seat, hands on the back. Take the lube and the black dildo.”

Instantly, the command sent shivers down Tony’s spine. He got into position as instructed laying one of the blankets over the seat beforehand. As always he had no idea what Loki had planned and the fact that he was unable to see him made his skin tingle.

He heard a zipper being opened and a soft rustling, which he imagined was Loki removing his pants. Then there was silence. The idea of Loki just watching him kneeling while having his dick out made his breath quicken. He was presented as Loki preferred, his knees apart, his spine straight. He wondered if Loki would just jerk off and not let him touch himself at all? Although the thought made his dick twitch, he hoped that it wasn’t Loki’s intention. Then again, why the lube and the dildo? He just needed to wait, and Loki would take care of him. The thought aroused and calmed him down at the same time. 

“I like when you are so patient for me, darling. Since you are being so good, I’ll let you decide. You can either not touch yourself until I tell you to come, or touch it throughout this encounter and not let up whatever happens. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Loki.”

“So, what will it be?”

Tony contemplated for a moment. He knew that he would be writhing and begging Loki to let him touch himself as soon as he started to use the dildo. But trying to keep from coming with his hand on his dick; that would be far worse.

“No touching,” he answered.

“As you wish, my sweet thing. Then get the lube and start massaging yourself slowly with one finger, but do not push in, yet.”

Tony complied, lubed up three fingers but made sure to only use one, while he used the other hand to steady himself on the back of the seat. He dragged his index finger along his crack just brushing about the pucker at first and then returning to it with slight pressure but making sure not to breach it as instructed. He gave a slight sigh.

There was no further instruction from Loki. Heat trickled up and down Tony’s spine, as he touched himself and thought about Loki enjoying the view. Over the last few weeks, Tony had learned a lot about Loki’s preferences when it came to Tony touching himself. Usually, there were more instructions involved and a lot of praise for following them. Tony couldn’t get enough of Loki telling him how good he was when he was obedient. 

He tilted his hips and prodded his finger on the rim of his hole, making his penis twitch again and listening for any reaction, between deep moans.

“Are you putting on a show for me, darling?” Loki chuckled slightly.

“Want you to enjoy yourself,” Tony answered, feeling satisfied with Loki’s obvious interest.

“I am enjoying you. Go ahead and push the finger in. Slowly.”

Tony slid his finger to his hole and pressed carefully, pushing it in up to the first knuckle. He willed himself to stop, pull it out and push it in again. By now, he knew what Loki meant when he said slow.

“Oh, you are so good. Behaving so well for me. Do you want more?” Loki asked.

“Yes, please, Loki.” Tony managed to keep his voice level.

“Very well, go ahead, open yourself up. But keep that third finger out.”

Tony did not wait in case Loki would have any second thoughts. Loki loved going torturously slow at times. Tony pushed the index finger in up to the knuckle and moaned at the sensation. He kept on pulling it out to the first knuckle and pushing it in again several times, before adding the second finger. He was more careful with the two together, relishing in the added pressure.

When the initial sensation of stretching had worn down, he moved them more, changing the angle and bending them a little. For a moment, his brain was completely occupied with chasing whatever pleasure he could get from fingering his ass, with the limits Loki set for him. The urges to touch his dick or just rub it against the couch were there, but he yearned to behave for Loki. Usually he would have drawn reassurance from Loki’s presence, from the way he looked at him and showered him with praise. Now, he was kept from these reinforcements with his back turned and Loki being silent. It was putting him on edge.

“Are you enjoying this, darling?” Loki pulled him back to the then and there. “Opening yourself up for me?”

“Yes, Loki.” Tony was not even self-conscious that it came out a bit breathless.

“Well behaved little thing. Now turn to the side. I want to see your face when you use the dildo.”

Tony grabbed the dildo and turned. He put some lube on it and lined it up with his hole. Finally, when he was completely ready, he looked at Loki for the first time since they began.

Loki was sitting in the lounge chair behind the glass pane. He was naked, his dick hard in his right hand and his heated gaze raking over Tony’s body. 

Tony took the picture in and let his eyes wander up and down before locking on Loki's.

“God, you are stunning,” Tony rasped.

Loki gave him a lopsided smile.

“Tell me to use that dildo,” Tony added when there was no other reaction.

Loki began to move the hand on his cock slowly, giving it long strokes. “Why?” he demanded.

“Because you said you wanted to see me use it.” Tony's tone was pleading. He didn’t care. “I want you to...”

“Yes?” Loki coaxed.

“I want to you to tell me what you want. What I should do.”

“What you should do?” Loki asked with feigned obliviousness.

“What you would do to me. Tell me what you will do to me.” The last words were softer than Tony intended them to.

“Sweet thing, of course I will.” Loki's expression was soft, almost tender. Tony felt the tension seep out of him. Loki continued, “Slowly add pressure to that dildo, just feel how it starts to open you up. Careful, it's somewhat bigger than your two fingers. Now, slip it in just a bit.”

Tony closed his eyes for a moment and followed the instructions word for word. Loki's instructions were deeply satisfying in their restrictions, even when the tease was torment, even when he just wanted to fuck himself stupid with the toy.

“I like the look on your face, darling. You’re so beautiful like that. This is how I want you. I would take you slowly, so slowly; just like this. Make you beg for every centimeter. You want more, don’t you?”

“Yes, please,” Tony moaned and, after a second, added, “Yes, Loki.”

“You’re so good, little thing. Push it deeper then, about half. Yes, like that. You are doing so well. Move your hips, darling. Fuck that dildo, yes, like that. I would move your hips just so, have you slide up and down my cock. Make you move, but control all of it.”

Tony reveled in Loki's words. He loved it to be the one causing Loki to use that tone of voice. He fucked himself with the dildo, making sure to only push it half way in.

“Does it feel good? Do you want all of it? Do you want me to pull out almost completely and then shove all of my length in at once, so that you can feel my balls slamming into you?”

“Yes, please, Loki, please, I want all of it, please.” Tony was not sure if he was using actual words anymore.

“Alright, just pull it out and then force it all in like I know you like. I know you want to feel it. It's written all over your face.”

Tony didn't answer but pulled the dildo out and used as much force as he could at this angle to push it all the way in. His arms started to tremble and after a moment he sank his head down onto the arm rest.

Within minutes, he was moaning loudly and maybe drooling a bit into the arm rest. His cock was becoming more insistent in his demands for attention. Tony opened his eyes to see Loki apparently not any closer to coming than he was before.

Tony let out a frustrated whine, changing the angle of the dildo to get more out of it, which made it worse.

“Tell me what you need, sweet thing.” Loki's voice was commanding.

“Need you to come,” Tony managed to press out.

“Then make me,” Loki said. “Tell me what you'd want me to do to you.”

“I can't. Can’t talk. Please... I just need to come. Please.” Tony was desperate.

“That will not do, little thing. You come, when I come, you know that. You just keep going, darling.” Loki’s smile was wicked and devious, but his eyes were soft and caring. “What would you have me do? Tell me.”

Tony moaned. He hardly managed to get his breathing to calm down enough to say, “I want you to take me, fuck me, own me. Please, Loki, I need you to. Make me come.”

“How?” Loki’s voice was hoarse and his hand on his cock sped up.

“Like this. You will take me on my hands and knees.” Tony could see Loki's body tensing, the sculpted muscles of his shoulders looking much more defined than just a minute ago. “Make me feel your strength, fuck me hard.” Tony accentuated that with another push of the dildo.

“What else would you let me do to you?” Loki’s voice was finally getting husky.

Tony moaned. ”Hold me down, put your hands on my neck, control me, keep me in my place while you fuck me from behind. Please, Loki, please, I want you to.”

Loki moaned which Tony knew was rare.

“I want to touch myself, but you won’t allow it. Not until you have come. Filled me up.”

That was it and Tony watched with a loud moan as Loki came all over his hands and stomach, breathing rapidly, not closing or averting his eyes for a single second.

Tony really tried to give Loki a moment to come down, but he was too far gone. His dick was still aching between his legs and he was still pumping the dildo in and out of himself at a rapid pace. He bit his tongue but started pleading again a moment later. “Please, Loki, I need to come, need to touch my dick, please.”

“Oh, sweet thing, you were so good for me,” Loki crooned in a sweet voice. “Yes, touch yourself now. Imagine it is me giving you pleasure, my fingers on your cock, my skin against yours.”

Tony didn’t hesitate to put his hand on his dick and match the speed of the dildo in his other hand.

“Look at me, Tony. Look at me,” he said in a commanding tone. “And now you will come for me. Will you do that, sweet thing?”

“Yes,” Tony gasped. “Yes, Loki.”

As the pleasure hit him, his hand slipped off the dildo, but he managed a few more strokes on his dick before all touch became too much. Panting, his heart racing, his mind wonderfully still, he sank down on the couch.

Loki’s praise enveloped him like a warm blanket while he came back down from his high. Slowly, still riding high on endorphins, he cleaned himself up with one of the towels from the sideboard before wrapping the dildo up in it and throwing it somewhere together with the blanket to take care of tomorrow.

It was strangely comforting to put his clothes back on in parallel with Loki. They exchanged exhausted little smiles and short side glances, and afterwards, Tony settled on the couch covered in a second blanket and listened to Loki telling him about some prank he pulled on Thor hundreds of years ago while drifting off into a warm peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we averted slowing the posting down for now. 
> 
> Thanks for all your amazing comments. I love to see your reactions and what you think and hope will happen.


	18. Lie Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky spends time with different people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brokenEisenglas is still the most amazing beta. Just so you know.

Bucky was trying a new recipe he found on the website Sam had showed him. He had only popped in at Loki’s in the afternoon to tell him he would come back in the evening because he wanted to take his proper time for this. He didn’t visit him everyday but made sure to always tell him when he would come back to not leave Loki guessing. 

Sam’s sister, who used the same cooking site, had recommended the dish he was preparing. Bucky had befriended her soon after joining. Sam had apparently told her that his new friend James made sure he got a proper home cooked meal once in a while, and she was more than happy to exchange tips and recipes to make sure Sam ate enough.

That was funny because Sam was by far the only one in the tower who cared for what he ate without being prompted. Tony was the worst example, although Bucky was sure by now he had to order in at times because there was no way he was surviving only on coffee and the strange fruit snacks he kept in the workshop.

Bucky was following the recipe loosely. (Steve once had looked over his shoulder while cooking and commented every step he made. “You were supposed to let it simmer for only ten minutes. It’s already been fifteen.” “Can you just replace the spinach?” “There are only two spices listed here. Why do you have five jars out already?” That was when Natasha had thankfully removed Steve from the kitchen. She obviously cared about his well-being.)

This time he had replaced the tomato with a pepper salsa (Thor still didn’t eat raw tomatoes; he refused to acknowledge it was the same stuff as in tomato sauce), had made extra chicken as alternative to the pork (for Natasha and Sam) and made onion rings (Clint insisted a meal wasn’t complete if it contained nothing deep fried, and Steve just liked them).

He had asked JARVIS already if Tony would have time to come up to eat. He was told that Tony was not available but would make sure he tasted whatever wonderful thing he’d created this time. As if the problem was that Tony did not appreciate his cooking enough! But he wasn’t going to drag Tony up by his ears. He just would visit him later with some of the ginger shortbread he had made this morning.

After dinner, Sam and Steve, as always, bullied the rest of the team into helping with clean up and told Bucky he should go and relax. He packed up two packages with shortbread and went to the workshop. Tony was half clad in a new suit and too distracted to notice when Bucky entered. At least Bucky thought so before he said, “Hey, pumpkin pie. Could you throw … that wrench over there at me?”

“I can also bring it over.”

“No, throw it at me. So that it hits…” Tony seemed still to be searching for the right spot. In the end he pointed to a spot at his lower back without armor protecting it, “...here.”

“No! You know that this could seriously hurt your kidneys?”

“If it would actually hit me, which it won’t. I promise it will be okay.” Tony sounded indeed unworried. 

He was sure it wouldn’t help, but Bucky asked anyway, “If you know that, why do you have to try it?”

Now, Tony looked at him annoyed. “I didn’t expect you to understand the scientific process.” 

Bucky chose to ignore that. “Can you not test whatever you are testing without you in the suit?”

“I didn’t think about that.” Tony looked down for a moment with a wrinkled forehead. “But then I wouldn’t know about wearability while the function is engaged. Of course you could measure some parameters with a rig…” 

And Bucky had lost him.

“Just tell me when you have figured out a way where I don’t injure or kill you if it goes wrong. Then I happily throw whatever you want.” He didn’t expect an answer. 

He left the shortbread at a table where it wasn’t likely to get buried under tools and scrap metal and asked JARVIS to tell Tony that it was there once he would resurface. He gave DUM-E a pat and looked back at Tony once, who was already rewiring the chestplate, before leaving with a smile on his face.

He knew Thor brought Loki enough food everyday to cover all meals, but cookies were not food in the technical sense. Loki actually drew up an eyebrow on his first bite.

“I still don’t understand how you consider this a worthwhile use of your time, but at least the result is quite delicious.”

“Thank you?” Bucky thought it might the closest Loki would get to a compliment of his baking. “Of course everything you pursue is of much greater importance. What was this video you were viewing the last time I came in?”

“I’m studying your culture. It is not my fault it heavily relies on five minute videos.” 

Bucky decided that he won this banter and waited for Loki to chew another cookie. He noticed something was different in the overall picture. “Hey is this a new rug? Did Thor get you that?” It was a nice large rug that looked unbelievably soft, cushy but not shaggy. It covered a large area of the cage, spreading from somewhere near the back and under the bed towards the front where Loki was sitting in his chair. Bucky couldn’t even remember what had been there before but he was sure that it at least was a different color.

Loki’s face seemed to fall for a split second before he said, “There was some maintenance done, it came with that.”

Maintenance? All right. Loki didn’t owe him any answers.

Before there could be an awkward silence, Bucky decided to change the topic, “Hey, do you actually get any exercise in that thing?”

A dark look passed over Loki's face at Bucky's question. Bucky could feel the warning before it was out.

"If you suggest to install some sort of those... machines in here that Thor keeps telling me about..."

"You'll do what?" Bucky asked.

Loki looked at him, eyes almost slits. "I'll play some of that music he oh so graciously played in here the other day."

“I don’t know what it was, but I give up.”

Loki smiled. It was probably meant to be smug but it actually looked fond, his eyes unable to hide actual amusement.

“No exercise for you?”

“I don’t know why being around those people upstairs seems to make it hard to understand simple logic, but I have told you before I’m not human. I am not as easily brought down because I don’t jump and down to drums and chimes at least once a week.”

Somebody apparently had found Zumba videos on YouTube.

“Thor enjoys the gym very much. So, it can’t be an Asgardian biology thing.”

Loki looked him dead in the eye just a moment too long.

“I guess it can’t.” It was as if Loki stowed any real emotion away to put something cold and dry in its place.

Bucky didn’t like it. “What did I miss?”

“You just made a convincing argument that I cannot dispute.” He stood up from the chair. “But I won’t wither away too soon.”

Bucky tried to catch his eyes but Loki occupied himself with putting the shortbread away. As he looked at him again, Bucky used the opportunity, “If you think you have to, you could at least have the decency to lie better? Isn’t that supposed to be your thing?”

With silent detachment Loki raised an eyebrow. “Why would I lie to you?”

Bucky decided to let it rest. He couldn’t change people against their will. The thought set off grim amusement in his bones. There were people who could and most likely still were doing exactly that somewhere. He didn’t want to change people against their will. Not Steve who never backed down from a fight. Not Tony who ran about without any regard for his own well-being and not Loki who saw everything either as a challenge or an attack. Bucky had his own shortcomings and demons to fight.

Bucky’s silence seemed to peak Loki’s interest. “What are you thinking about?”

“Idiots,” he answered. “A bunch of them.”

-

It was a sunny day, and Clint had made Bucky come up to the roof with him. The weather was nice, so Bucky was not too suspicious. But just sitting out in the sun didn’t seem to be the archer’s thing. The garden on the rooftop was lovely though.

However, Clint didn’t go for the benches but found a small control panel that was set into the wall limiting the roof patio. With some whirring and humming, walls and other objects rose from the flower beds. Bucky wondered how he hadn’t seen anything before. The engineering was so elegant that there was no question who had designed it. He turned back to Clint to ask what this was for. Clint had opened a locker that also had come up from the roof beneath them. From it he got some vests and what looked like air rifles.

“Put that on. I’ll load them up.”

From a container he filled colored spheres in the funnels on top of the weapons. Violet in one, yellow in the other.

It took one shot from Clint for Bucky to understand. He shot him point blank leaving a big violet splatter on the vest Bucky just finished adjusting. “That's one-nothing, for me.”

Bucky grabbed the other rifle from Clint’s hand and jumped for the next barricade before turning around and opening fire. Clint already was sprinting for cover.

In the end, Clint won by a small margin which Bucky attributed to him knowing the course. And he really did not care as the hours had flown by. They put away their vests and rifles, and Clint used the controls to let the course recede back into the roof. Looking over the patio that now came back into view, Bucky was mortified. “We got paint everywhere.” 

"No problem. It washes off easily. Water soluble and biodegradable. If somebody wants to get rid of it before it does it itself, they can just turn on the sprinklers."

“I guess that’s Tony’s invention, too?”

“Yeah, he built it when I complained that the shooting range was good but no fun.”

“Did he ever come up to use it?” Bucky had an idea what the answer would be.

Clint huffed at the question. “He wanted to make a team thing out of the first time we use it. Friday evening, splitting up in teams, beer and BBQ after.”

“But?”

“When the Friday came Tony had locked himself into the workshop and JARVIS was not letting anyone in. Not even Bruce.”

“What? Why?”

“A day before, he went on a talk show and announced to the world that the Avengers would work independently after the fall of SHIELD. We never discussed that. He went on to tell them about the team. Sam had just been convinced by Steve to relocate to New York. Tony obviously took that to mean he was part of the team now. Natasha and I also hadn’t gone public with our identity. I mean we‘re spies. It was a mess. We were pissed. Natasha had thought about going public in the Hydra aftermath. Tony had said something about the importance of being transparent. That was apparently all it took for him to think the matter was decided.” Clint shrugged and shook his head. While he talked Bucky could see some of the anger that the issue had caused reflected on the archer's face but now he seemed more resigned.

Bucky could believe that Tony, if convinced on the best way to proceed, might just dive in if no one held him back. “And then?”

“He couldn’t see what was wrong with it. He and Steve got into a fight and he went and walled himself in in his workshop. Didn’t come out for almost two days. Then he waltzed in, apologized and left the tower for some business trip directly after that. He never mentioned the paintball course again. I asked if we could use it and he just said we should go ahead and ask Jarvis how to operate it.”

Bucky wasn’t sure how to take that. Clint had asked after all. But everybody knew Tony could be as pigheaded as Steve. Of course it would take some more poking to get him to join them.

Clint looked at him. “I can ask him if he wants to join us sometime, but don’t get your hopes up. He just is pretty busy these days.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying to know what you think about this chapter. If you just want to leave a comment to let me know you read it, that is also great.
> 
> See you all on Friday.


	19. I Can’t Hear You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony leaves his workshop.

Bucky strolled into the workshop late in the afternoon. JARVIS lowered the music, so Tony would not get startled, but not to any level appropriate for conversation. Bucky placed himself beside Tony, who was staring at some blueprints projected over the workbench. Tony gestured for JARVIS to cut the music, crumpled the hologram to a four-inch ball, and flicked it in U's direction, who whirred to go and collect it, although it technically was only light.

Tony looked so tired that Bucky saw his initial plan of coaxing him to join movie night this evening busted.

“And another five hours down the drain. Hey, where's my coffee. How will I know you love me, if you don't bring coffee?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You don't need coffee. You look like you need sleep.”

Tony laughed wryly. “Good one. If I had time to sleep, I could get coffee myself. There are at least five things I need to finish this week and many more that certainly need some progress.”

“And being overly tired just made you lose five hours on one of these projects. I am sure you would've scrapped it four hours ago if you weren't sleep deprived.” How someone so intelligent could be so stupid at times, eluded Bucky.

“Even if I went to bed now, I wouldn’t sleep. My time is better invested in making whatever progress I can.”

Tony made a very unspecific gesture to the space behind him in general. Bucky was not even sure if he was aware he was doing it. It had the grace of somebody flagging down a cab drunk, while laying face forward in the street.

“Twenty minutes,” Bucky said.

“Huh?”

“I want you to try for twenty minutes. If you just lay about, no problem. It may give your brain at least some rest. If you fall asleep, I wake you in time for dinner.” Bucky was already moving into the direction of the workshop couch.

“Now I have to have dinner, too?” Tony complained.

“Oh, the awfulness of being well-rested and fed,” Bucky mocked. As Tony was still not moving he added, “If you don't get to sleep, I bring you a double espresso.”

That earned him a grin. “Now, we’re talking.”

“Okay, come over,” Bucky sat down sideways at the head of the couch, one leg lying along the backrest the other one still down at the floor.

“What are you doing?” Tony asked incredulously.

“Making sure you actually try. Come, sit down. Back to me.”

Tony looked skeptical but came over anyway. When he was settled in, Bucky pulled him in with his right arm across his chest. The only protest was an amused huff.

“Now close your eyes and I tell you when the twenty minutes are up. And I can tell when you are thinking about your work, so don't.”

Bucky could feel how tense Tony's body still was. He started to draw small circles on the collarbone beneath his thumb. Tony huffed at that again but started to relax some more.

“Less complaining, more sleeping,” Bucky said softly beside his ear.

Tony grumbled something incomprehensible, shifted to his side and Bucky let his arm drop to Tony's back to rub there instead.

In about five minutes Tony was fast asleep.

 

Bucky had tried to speak very softly, but Tony was laying with his ear on his chest, face to the back of the couch, so it was no wonder he woke up, when Bucky asked JARVIS to order some pizzas.

“That's a lot of pizzas for two,” Tony mumbled.

Bucky noticed with some satisfaction that he was in no hurry to get up.

“Hey, lovely, how did you sleep?” he said in a soft voice.

“Good. You are surprisingly comfy.”

Tony started to wiggle around a little bit and moved his hands to Bucky's side. Bucky took a deep breath and tried to focus on the task at hand, namely to get Tony to eat and socialize. His penis on the other hand, found their current position to be much more interesting.

After the first two twitches went without commentary, he thought he might get away with it. But after the third Tony's head snapped up, and he suddenly looked wide awake when he leered at Bucky. His hands started to wander up and down Bucky's sides and a broad grin took over his face when Bucky was unable to suppress the next twitch.

JARVIS’ voice startled Bucky, “I am sorry to interrupt, Sir, but Thor will be entering the workshop in about thirty seconds.”

Bucky half expected Tony to shoot up in the same panic he showed the last time. Instead he grumbled and got up unhurried, which left Bucky to make some futile attempts at adjusting his clothing to hide his growing erection. In the last moment he got up and stepped close to one of the workbenches, hiding his groin behind it.

“James, I was looking for you. Are you here to make sure Tony will be joining us tonight?” Thor droned at his usual volume as soon as he opened the door.

“Us? Tonight?” Tony looked apprehensive at best.

“James said we would have a team movie night. And you were missed last week.”

“Why do I not believe that?” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Because you are not as smart as you’d have us all believe?” Bucky chimed in, feeling okay again to step away from the workbench.

“Watch it, Barnes. I am a certified genius to the last hair, and you know it.”

“So, you will be joining us. Great. See you up in twenty, honeycomb,” Bucky chirped, while making his way out the workshop door.

“That makes no sense and you insult us both by acting as if it does,” Tony barked after him.

“I can't hear you,” Bucky yelled back.

Thor looked confused at Tony for a moment, then shrugged as if it was just another strange Midgardian behavior and left after Bucky.

 

Most of the team was already lounging around the big screen TV set into the wall of the penthouse when Tony finally came up. He took much more than twenty minutes. Bucky could only guess that he had hoped they would start the movie without him.

But they hadn’t. Bucky had warded of the complaining mob with pizzas and was making some popcorn in the open kitchen when Tony arrived.

“You are just in time to pick: sixties monster madness or seventies alien invasion flick?” he greeted him.

“I am sure there is something that combines the two. JARVIS, anything that fits the profile?” Tony inquired.

“I have a selection displayed on the screen, Sir.” Discussion started promptly in the sitting area.

Tony stood on the other side of the kitchen island appearing to battle with himself over something to say. After a moment Bucky decided to relieve him.

“The three-seater is still unoccupied. Why don't you go ahead? I'll be a minute. Steve is out, so we can start already.”

Tony seemed to relax, nodded, and went over.

When the microwave pinged, Bucky filled up the last bowl. He made his way over, put it on the table and planted himself in the middle of the three-seater very close to Tony.

They were about halfway into the film and Tony seemed to be enjoying himself. Clint and Sam had started to make sarcastic comments regarding the stupid dialogs, which led to Tony mocking the bad science. Now they were just egging each other on, interrupted by laughs and snorts from Bucky and once even Natasha.

Thor joined in with, “Why would they aim to conquer a planet that poses no threat and is in any way inferior to them?” which led to a new round of laughs.

When it had ebbed down, Bucky unceremoniously plopped his head on Tony's shoulder.

“Hey,” Tony protested in a whisper.

“You slept on me for hours. It's my turn,” Bucky whispered back close to his ear and pulled his legs up and draping his knees over Tony's lap.

There were no further protests and after ten minutes Tony rearranged them, so that his arm was hugging Bucky close and his own head was resting atop Bucky's.

Bucky hummed and took in the scent of workshop and warmth. Tony kept on laughing over the ongoing commentary but otherwise kept quite as if not to draw too much attention to them.

Bucky had no doubt though that everybody had already picked up on what was going on. But for once the team was mercifully discreet, not scaring off the shy wildebeest that Tony obviously had become to them.

The film was on its final battle scene when Steve sauntered in. “Hey, what are you watching?”

He earned himself completely overdone “SHHH”s from Sam and Clint, who then started to discuss the rudeness of the youth today, talking over the movie loudly.

Steve chuckled and wandered over to take the seat beside Bucky, stopping only shortly at the sight of the two of them.

Bucky could feel Tony's hand lifting off his back and his arm and shoulder going stiff. He was obviously indicating for Bucky to remove himself from where he was still snuggled against his side, but Bucky ignored that.

Steve already had sat down, seemingly not finding the picture odd enough to comment.

When Tony was neither putting his arm back in place nor making any other move to regain any composure concerning the situation, Bucky sat up and looked at him. He was staring unwavering at the TV screen and Bucky would have bet everything that he was not actually seeing anything. Looking over his shoulder Bucky caught Steve throwing a sideway glance on them, obviously picking up on the tension. Bucky hoped he had by now learned when a situation didn’t require his input. When Bucky looked back at Tony, he had lowered his arm closing himself off as much as possible with Bucky's legs still resting against his.

Bucky gave himself a moment, trying to get over the stupidity. Then he pulled his legs off Tony, who seemed to slump a little, and Bucky hoped for him that it was not a sign of relief. He scooted over, pulled his legs up on the other side, and was about to just prop his head on Tony's lap when he felt a tap at his ankle. He came back up again and stared disbelievingly at Steve, who apologetically asked if Bucky could hand him the popcorn from the table. Bucky was just about to make a show of draping himself back at Tony's lap when the man got up, as the credits of the film were rolling.

Bucky tried to tug him back down by his back pocket. He could not believe he was about to run off again. Tony made a small jump out of his reach, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

“Uh, thank you for the ridiculous entertainment and the food, but I need to get back to the projects. All of them. Have a good night.”

And with that he was off towards the elevator.

Bucky turned to glare at Steve again. “Could you just not the next time?”

“He was really uncomfortable,” Steve explained in such a patient manner Bucky instantly wanted to smack him.

“You made him uncomfortable.”

Steve scowled at that. “I’m not sure what is going on between you two…”

“It’s also none of your business.”

“I get that.” Steve’s jaw was working. The two super soldiers sat in tense silence while the rest passed looks to each other across the room. Bucky could feel how bad Steve wanted to say more, much more, but he also saw how much he reigned himself in, as he did nowadays. “I appreciate what you have been doing. I know he wouldn’t have been up here if not for you. Tony rarely joins us on anything anymore and I probably should have done something about that sooner. I should have noticed sooner, but that can’t be changed now.” Steve was stern, not angry, but resolute. “But maybe you want to talk to him, instead of passive aggressively cuddling him into submission.”

Bucky could just stare at Steve. Weeks since Bucky had moved in and this was actually the first proper comeback Bucky had gotten from Steve. And it was about defending Tony. From Bucky. 

“It’s great that you remembered that Tony is actually part of this team.” With some satisfaction Bucky noticed that nobody dared to correct him about the stupid consultant thing. “But you got it completely backwards.” He swallowed the ‘again’. He wasn’t angry at Steve not really.

“Then, mind explaining it to me? Because, from what I saw, he was clearly communicating for you back the fuck off.”

Bucky could sense tension and surprise ripple through the room. It wasn’t often that Steve let his temper obviously take control. Still too afraid of being the bully.

“No, I don’t.”

Steve hadn’t been expecting the harshness of Bucky’s answer, if his expression was anything to go by. He looked taken off guard, blind-sided by the response.

They stared each other down.

He knew that Steve didn’t have all the particulars, that he was an observer just reacting to things he had noticed. He imagined for a moment what the situation must have looked like to Steve. He was probably genuinely worried about both Tony and Bucky. But, he chose now to find it in himself to have an open conflict with Bucky? About cuddling Tony of all things. There were so many other things they could have argued about, but Steve chose this. Bucky “aggressively cuddling” Tony? Something that Bucky was sure Tony was into as long Steve was not in the same room as them.

Was there ...? Did Steve…? Was Steve jealous? Did they have something before…? No, that was something both of them would hopefully told him before he got between them.

“You don’t get it,” Bucky started. But then maybe he did and Bucky was the one missing the point, he wasn’t sure anymore. He was looking for a thing in this argument he was certain about. He came up empty.

“You aren’t willing to talk about what is going on, fine.” Steve huffed. “But, Tony is part of this team, and I will make sure the he feels safe and comfortable when does choose to come join us.”

He said it with such sincerity.

Someone cleared their throat, and when Bucky looked, Sam and Clint were staring somewhere else while coughing awkwardly. Natasha had started collecting the bowls and pizza boxes to remove herself while almost certainly listening and noting every detail of the situation. Thor was looking deeply concerned.

Bucky didn’t know what he was still doing there.

“Then I guess I’ll go and ask him.” Bucky mumbled as he turned to leave.

As he left the room he could here Clint’s whispered, “Well, someone needs a fucking hug or a lay.”

The sound of pizza box to skull echoed with Clint’s ‘ow’ and Natasha’s hushed curses in Russian followed Bucky as he walked away.

 

Bucky found Tony standing in the workshop, twirling a leftover piece of wire. When the door fell closed, Tony turned to see who had come in, a worried look on his face. He smiled a little at Bucky, but the tension around his eyes stayed the same.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey, you too,” Bucky answered. He made his way over and turned Tony around. Giving him no chance to bolt again, he laid a hand at his cheek and brought their lips together. He carefully kissed Tony anticipating for him to freeze up or be shoved away again.

What happened was Tony giving a little sigh against his mouth, before melting into the kiss. Bucky felt hands on his hips. He let his shoulders sink, releasing tension that must have been there for far longer than he realized. 

The kiss did not stay careful for long as Bucky coaxed Tony's lips apart with his tongue. When he did follow that by licking into his mouth, Tony whined and let his own tongue search for Bucky's. After a moment Bucky pulled them apart just to get his breathing under control.

Tony stood for a moment longer with his eyes closed. He looked entranced and Bucky thought it might be the most serene thing he had seen in his life.

When Tony's brow began to furrow, and he opened his eyes, Bucky pulled him close, chuckling when he could feel Tony's half chub against his thigh.

“Feels like we are back to where we were interrupted this afternoon,” he hummed in Tony's ear, dropping his left hand down to Tony's butt and leaning back to look into his eyes again.

Suddenly a light seemed to turn on behind those eyes and they zeroed in on Bucky's. Tony slowly grabbed the hand still on his face and the metal one at his butt and slowly but determined pushed them back to Bucky's side.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—” He paused for a moment. Averting his eyes, he continued, “I am sorry if I led you on. But this is not something we should do — that I should do.”

“Why are you being like this?” Bucky asked directly. “Every time. You are all for it and then we get interrupted or you interrupt yourself and then you run for the hills.”

“I am not running,” Tony stated. “But this is not what you think it is.”

“Please, tell me what I think this is!” Bucky snapped back.

Tony pressed his lips into a thin line, before saying, “Look, I know it feels like all this warm gooey feeling in your stomach means this is more than just short-lived affection.”

“I never said anything about anything warm and gooey.” 

“You are in a stable living situation for the first time since—”

“Stop, right there,” Bucky said louder than he intended and Tony flinched. In turn Bucky instantly stepped back.

Softer but no less insistent, he continued, “You don't get to throw my situation into this. If you have some kind of issue with Steve—”

“I have no issue with Steve—” 

“If there was something between you two before—”

“What? Between Steve and ... This is about you—”

“No, this is about you. Backtracking anytime there is somebody from the team involved—”

“I should have shut this down the first time, Steve walked in—”

“So, it is Steve—”

“Do you expect me to be okay, defiling the best friend of a national icon?”

Bucky looked at him, his heart pounding in his ears. “That's what I am to you? The sidekick of an icon?”

Tony looked shocked for a moment. Then he averted it eyes and mumbled, “Seems like it.”

“You’re right. We really shouldn't be doin' this.” Bucky clenched his teeth, nodded, and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I owe even more thanks than usual to brokenEisenglas. She co-authored the argument scene between Bucky and Steve when I couldn't get it to work.
> 
> In other news, I will be posting only once a week for now to give myself some time to work on future chapters.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this episode and are looking forward to those coming next because stuff is happening.


	20. Want To Feel It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone makes progress in getting closer to Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brokenEisenglas is still the most amazing beta this fic could have hoped for.

Bucky headed down to the cage in the evening after Thor had left. That was a time he often chose for his visits. It was not about hiding his contact with Loki, but he was still not sure how to approach the subject. 

He was sure Thor would be overjoyed to see someone else visiting his brother. And, as far as Bucky could tell, joy was to be proclaimed to everybody as soon and as loud as possible in Thor's book.

Bucky wouldn’t have a problem with telling everyone how he thought that Loki deserved the benefit of the doubt when it came to his changed ways. Which were not so much ways as he was not able to do anything. But Bucky had faith in Loki and what he would call a friendship by now and therefore would have voted to release Loki’s detention bit by bit.

What Bucky was not so sure about, were questions about him that might come to pass. He was still confused that no one on the team had asked these questions. They all knew remnants of Hydra were still out there. The team was on missions regarding these scattered cells regularly. He did not fear the question if he should be also sitting in a cell for everyone's safety, as much as the argument that might develop over it.

The team was family and like every family they got into fights, mostly not recognizing they were the same two or three fights happening over and over again.

He was not sure who would be on which side when it came to the discussion about locking him up, but it didn’t really matter. He did not want to be another spark to ignite the tire fire the team sometimes was.

So, he kept this new-found friendship to himself.

“And almost exactly fifteen minutes after Thor's exit, you appear,” Loki chimed, amused. “Do you do the spying yourself or does Stark's all-seeing JARVIS help you with this?”

Bucky smiled at him. “I have a standing request to get notified when Thor leaves here.” He had come down here daily this week and it was pretty convenient.

“And then you take your time, so he will not figure out that you come to see me.” Loki smirked, but Bucky was not sure he liked it this time.

“I don’t mind him finding out. I don’t mind anyone finding out," he answered calmly. "I just want to be prepared for the consequences.” 

“The questions implying that you keep company that fits your character?”

“The ones where I actually need to talk about the possibility of hurting someone.”

Loki looked at him with an overly exasperated look. “Oh, where were we at that discussion? Ah, yes. You have not hurt anyone within over a year. Purposefully that is, contemplating last week’s comment on my attire.”

“I don't know who thought that shirt was a good idea, but you should never trust them again.” Bantering with Loki was as easy as talking to him about the Asset. When it came to pleasant company he might rival Tony. That was Tony, when they were still speaking, and not Tony now, where Bucky hadn't seen him in five days.

“Not as if there was a lot of company around for which the need to dress up arises.” Loki was standing beside his chair, his body language relaxed.

“Now, I’m hurt. My visits not worth any effort?” 

“You seem to come back no matter what I am wearing.”

Surprising himself, Bucky said, “Maybe I’m here for what’s underneath.”

Loki looked at him, eyebrows raised. “I’ll give you the chance to say that this was a compliment to my intellect.”

Bucky felt heat rise in his stomach. “And if I say that your intellect is nice, but I find your ass nicer?”

Loki grinned and, without much heat, said, “Then I might actually want to work on a plan to get you in here.”

Bucky kept his eyes focused on Loki. “JARVIS, can I enter the cage?”

“This is not possible, Sergeant Barnes, as this would be inappropriately dangerous behavior.”

“JARVIS, please rerun the risk analysis considering my enhanced status. It is impossible that Loki would be able to subdue me without magic.”

“Do you really believe that?” Loki seemed offended.

JARVIS answered, “Risk analysis confirmed no elevated risk for Sergeant Barnes due to the magic repression and enhanced physical functions.”

Looking at the ceiling, as pointless as that was, Bucky asked, “Does this mean I can enter?”

JARVIS took a moment which was unusual. “There is no necessity for me to forgo the command if you should chose to enter the cage, Sergeant.”

Bucky focused his gaze back on Loki. Tension had returned to his posture giving the picture of a panther, ready to jump.

“So, doll, what do you want me to do? And don't try to deflect. Do I stay out here or get in there with you?”

Loki took his time to answer. Bucky had to swallow hard to remain still with the anticipation building up. He was more than ready to go into that cage. Only, one stray thought biting painfully into his conscience. 

Tony.

Tony had made it abundantly clear how he saw Bucky. That there was nothing between them. Regular flirting and hanging around in the workshop were not dating; they had not been heading towards a relationship. He had learned that lesson. There was nothing for him to be faithful to.

Still, there was a pang about what would happen if Tony would find out about this. There was no option there that didn’t hurt. 

But he could not deny his interest in getting into that cage with Loki. They were already friends and there was no way of denying Bucky wanted to get close to him physically. There was attraction, based on the person he got to know over the last weeks, but this new edge came with the thought of getting his hands all over the body that was still separated from him by a solid pane of glass.

Finally, Loki spoke up, his voice dark and commanding, “I want you to get in here.”

Bucky wasn’t about to waste anytime. “JARVIS, open the airlock and get me in.”

The outer door of the airlock opened, and he stepped in. While the doors closed behind him, he kept his eyes trained on Loki, who fixated him with equal intensity. Bucky could feel heat run down his spine and radiate into his limbs. He stepped out of the airlock on the other side.

They stood still for a moment, just breathing the same air, and, before Bucky could consider the possibilities now that they were on the same side, Loki closed the distance between them, brought his hands to Bucky’s face and started to kiss him vigorously. 

Bucky let himself fall into the kiss, lightly settling his hands on Loki's waist. He could feel the muscles working subtly beneath his palms while Loki's kissing made his head spin. He kissed both with urgency and artful skill.

They both retracted to breathe for a few seconds, and Bucky searched Loki's face for any indication that he had more of a plan than he did.

“Bed?” Loki suggested, and Bucky started to back him off into the general direction locking their lips together again. To his surprise they managed to land on the bed, Bucky on top, running his hands all over Loki's upper body.

In an instant, Loki flipped them, straddling Bucky's lap and attacking his mouth again. Bucky, not scrutinizing the reason and instead taking it for the chance it was, grabbed the hem of Loki's shirt, pulling it up, signaling he wanted it gone. He already slipped his metal hand underneath to touch what was still hidden. His wish was fulfilled, as Loki pulled his shirt off only to start on Bucky's shirt in turn. There was impatience in the movement and Bucky was about to push himself up to make the task easier, when Loki ripped the shirt down the front. Bucky almost huffed out a laugh at the dramatic gesture but swallowed it down at Loki’s wild gaze when he took in the sight of the body sprawled beneath him. Two more rips and his shirt was gone for good. 

Had Loki been restless and driven just a moment ago, he now came to a halting stop. Bucky’s impulse of speaking up just to break the intense silence was cut short when one of Loki's hands landed in the middle of his chest, stroking its way outwards, soon mirrored by the second one. He was not so much feeling him up than admiring every inch with eyes and hands. As much as Bucky enjoyed the way in which Loki seemed to drink all of his body in, he was relieved that he did not linger at the shoulder, where the metal was attached to flesh. The hands wandered up to his shoulders, down both his arms, not hesitating on either side but mapping them both just the way they were. 

After Loki had seemingly explored everything to his liking, he pushed Bucky back to the bed and kissed him but this time much more sweetly than before.

They fell into an easy rhythm of exploring each other that way. Bucky roamed his hands over Loki's back while the god kissed his way along the stubble on his jaw, down to his Adam's apple. The light touch felt tender; a lot of the urgency from before gone, apparently soothed by closeness and contact. A graze of teeth at his throat drew a guttural moan out of him. It felt just like a more intense form of caress. 

Loki continued his way over to his right shoulder where he bit him with more strength and Bucky hoped his half choked groans were encouragement enough.

Searching for something to ground himself before his brain shut completely off, Bucky’s hands found Loki's ass and gave it a hefty squeeze. He wasn’t sure if Loki’s moan was a sign of him losing control or just as purposeful as the biting and kissing. With the way that Loki abandoned the slow and teasing approach of grazing his upper body with kisses and teeth and went to work on the buttons of Bucky's jeans instead, he would like to think that he had swayed Loki at least a little bit.

Deciding it was just faster this way, Bucky opened his pants himself and Loki jumped up to peel out of his own in an astounding speed. His underwear was gone just as fast and Bucky followed suit. After that he propped himself up on his elbows and waited. Loki stood and looked back at him, still panting slightly. It was a mesmerising picture.

After a moment he went over to a small end table and got a bottle of lube from the drawer.

He stood there, his gaze wandering over Bucky for another few seconds, before prowling back to the bed. “Turn over,” he said curtly.

“Hey,” Bucky huffed. “You could at least ask if I am okay with bottoming.”

“Do you want to have a discussion, or do you want to get fucked?” Loki replied.

Bucky raised his eyebrows but turned and got up on his knees and elbows.

“I thought so,” Loki said pointedly.

“Don't think we won't have this discussion later.” Bucky wasn't about to let him get away with talking his way around topics that came to close to whatever invisible limits Loki had set. There was obviously an issue they would need to talk about if only in the most common terms of what was okay for either of them in the future.

Loki did not say anything further. Bucky could hear the click of the bottle cap and felt a hand smoothing down his back a moment later, all thoughts about what needed to happen after banished from his mind. When Loki reached his ass, he used one hand to pull the cheeks apart and Bucky felt the lubed-up thumb of his second hand glide in between. A deep moan escaped him. Loki took his time just brushing back and forth over his hole.

After a minute, Bucky said, “We could also have the discussion now if you are not going anywhere with that soon.”

“If you keep on being that ungrateful, I might prefer it.” Loki's voice was warm though, unaffected by Bucky's complaint.

“Just put something in there already!”

Bucky gasped when Loki shoved two fingers in to their full length.

“Like this?” Loki asked sweetly.

“Oh, yes. Yes!” Bucky really meant it.

Loki worked the two fingers rapidly in and out, while Bucky panted along in the same rhythm, being driven farther and farther. He needed more. Before he could demand it, Loki asked, “Do you want to get on your back or stay there?”

Bucky pulled off the fingers, turned on his back and propped himself up on the pillow in way of answering.

Loki knelt between his thighs, leaning over him to give him another kiss while stroking his hand lightly along Bucky's dick. Bucky replied to the kiss eagerly but pulled back after several long moments.

He looked at Loki, who looked back with a questioning smile. “Yes, James?”

“You are waiting for me to ask you to fuck me already.” Bucky could not fight off the grin. “You know that you are unbelievably obvious, right?”

“So, you don't want me to fuck you?” Loki asked neutrally.

“I never said that,” Bucky gave back, smirking.

“You also did not say something to the contrary,” Loki almost chirruped.

“Loki, please fuck me. Put your dick inside me; stuff your cock up my ass; stick yo–” Bucky could not go on because Loki was kissing him again, most likely to shut him up.

He pulled back after a moment, finally lined up his cock with Bucky's rim and pushed in slowly.

The laughter that had been coming from Bucky's lips the moment before was cut short as his breath hitched.

Loki bottomed out in one long measured thrust. He made Bucky feel full and stretched and content and then he started moving. The feeling got even more intense and threatened to overwhelm him. Bucky shut his eyes and concentrated on the drag and push and the warm feeling when Loki’s hips connected with his thighs. He lost himself in the sensation and the intensity, though it didn’t decline, became more pleasurable and he moaned at every thrust.

After a long time hovering in the bliss of drag, push and connection, he felt Loki pulling his head a short way up into a kiss. After, Loki let Bucky’s head sink to the pillow again and placed bites all along his collarbone. The first ones small and careful, soon Bucky was breathing through pain mixed with pleasure from Loki’s teeth leaving marks on his skin.

Loki put his right hand between them and stroked Bucky's length, while he was picking up speed. Somehow the added sensation managed to ground Bucky and he opened his eyes, enjoying the view and the feeling of Loki biting his way all over his upper body. Loki’s breathing was picking up too, and that was what pushed Bucky right to the edge.

He waited for Loki to look up and lock eyes with him again before he said, “I want you to come first.”

Loki's eyes lit up, and he increased the force at which he was pounding into Bucky.

“Will you tell me why?” he managed to ask without sounding too out of breath, the show off.

“Want to see your face when you do.”

Loki grunted, obviously beside himself. Bucky might have smirked.

“Want to hear you. Want to feel it.”

It didn’t take a minute after that and Loki came, moaning and still pounding into Bucky, although more shallowly. Bucky replaced his hand on his own dick when Loki couldn’t keep the rhythm anymore and came, covering his own abdomen in his come, while Loki was still riding out the last of his orgasm.

Ignoring the mess Bucky leaned up to capture Loki in another kiss, before Loki pulled out and got a towel from his bath pod to clean them up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I checked up on the subscription numbers again and you guys are crazy. I'm really happy to be able to share his story with all of you.
> 
> If you want to say 'Hi' you can do so on my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loraneldin) or in the comments. :D
> 
> See you all next week.


	21. Unprepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jarvis has news for Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to brokenEisenglas for beta.

Tony was wrapping up for the day, asking JARVIS if there was anything else before he left.

“Will you be going down to level fifty-four tonight?” JARVIS asked.

“Yes, J. As I have been for some time now and the world has not ended because of it. Okay?” Tony knew he sounded annoyed. JARVIS nagging had kept Tony alive at times, but regarding this it was only exhausting by now.

He hadn't slept at his apartment for at least a month now, only going up there for showers and changing. He either napped in the lab or went down to the cage to get a full night’s sleep and it was the most regular schedule he’d had in years.

“I noticed, Sir. I just wanted to update you on the events of this evening to not let you go unprepared.”

Tony froze mid stride.

“Unprepared for what? JARVIS, is everyone all right? Did something happen?” Tony was running through the possibilities in his head. “Is Loki alright?”

“In all areas that I can analyze everybody is fine, Sir. Of course, I have no possibility to analyze the status of our house guest in his cell. And for the same reason I have no status of Sergeant Barnes. Although all simulations would indicate that they are both doing well.”

Tony was already out of the lab and moving into the elevator, while snapping at his AI. “What do you mean you have no status on Bucky?”

“Sergeant Barnes entered the airlock three hours and thirty-five minutes ago.”

“What?” Tony was completely flabbergasted. “How? Why?”

The elevator was already moving down, when Jarvis answered, “As to what and how: Sergeant Barnes requested an analysis on the possibility of him coming to harm if he entered the cell. As this was not the case I granted his request to enter. As for why...”

Tony interrupted him, “We will talk about that later, J.” He wasn’t really listening anymore anyway. He had reached level 54 and was rushing down the corridor. It all didn’t make any sense. He opened the door and started talking the same moment, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why on earth would you—”

He came to a standstill and gave himself a moment to take in the picture. Bucky had been sitting on the foot of Loki's bed and had jumped to his feet when Tony came in. Loki was sitting on the lounge chair which was turned so it was facing the door and the bed at the same time. He did not move at Tony's entrance.

“Nice shirt, Barnes,” Tony snarled. Bucky looked down at Loki's shirt that he was wearing instead of his own.

“So, Jarvis told you where I was?” Bucky asked, his face resembling a slab of marble.

Infuriated Tony answered, “Of course, he did.” It wasn't a lie and the full truth would lead to a discussion he didn’t want to have. It would be even worse than the one they were about to have.

“Actually,” Loki drawled, “you said yesterday that you would be coming back today. And this is pretty much our regular time, isn't it?”

Tony snapped at him, “You stay out of this!”

“What?” Bucky was looking from Tony to Loki and back furrowing his brow.

“Oh, Tony kindly pays me visits several times a week. Of course, he stays on the other side of the glass, as it would be too dangerous for me to be anywhere near him.” Tony just glared at him. He was working hard to avoid thinking about Loki’s motivations in all this.

“You are in your workshop all the time,” Bucky said with a puzzled look.

“And sometimes I come down here. That does not explain what you think you are doing?” Tony didn't want to know, but he needed to get him to his senses.

“What I _think_ I am doing?” Bucky asked, almost spitting the words.

“I give you a short description of what I see,” Tony answered sardonically. “Tell me when you know where I am going with this. I come here, in the middle of the night, after JARVIS told me you talked him into letting you into a high security cell, constructed to house threats not fit to be kept anywhere else. You are wearing his shirt and you are obviously unable to leave on your own.” He couldn't keep himself from adding, “And I know what fading love bites look like.”

A crease was forming between Bucky's eyebrows. “How do you know that is his shirt?”

Tony blinked. Damn Bucky's attentiveness! Did he have to pick upon the one detail Tony had been too stupid to omit? Tony told himself it was the late hour and not his emotional state that had caused the lapse in control.

“Oh, that's easy,” Loki chimed in again. “He bought it.”

“I bought everything in this fucking tower,” Tony snapped.

“You paid for everything,” Loki corrected him. “You bought this shirt.”

What was his fucking goal? He could not really be so reckless as to want to blow up this situation. If he was getting fed up with Tony, he could just have said so. It wasn't unexpected. It was the path any of Tony’s relationships had taken.

“So, what is your grand plan now?” Tony asked Bucky, ignoring Loki for the moment as best he could. It was all he still felt able to do. Bucky had stared in silence at Loki for a while now.

“JARVIS will not let me out again,” he answered at least.

Bucky had been trying to leave and had he succeeded, Tony would have been none the wiser. Would that have made it better or worse? At least now Tony knew where he stood. 

“JARVIS can't hear you when you are in there. He still records, but he is not listening.” Tony did not think about how Loki knew that and that JARVIS also could have told Bucky that before he went in. Or why they both had decided not to and instead left Tony to deal with this mess.

But Bucky was not far behind. “He could have told me that.”

“And then what? You would’ve kept it in your pants?” Tony knew that this was the wrong thing to say, but he couldn't help himself.

“Where I keep it is of no interest to you. You made that clear.”

So, that was Tony's fault now, too.

“I see. I made you go and find somebody else to fuck and – the first place you come to is here?” The second half fell flat. What he wanted to say was ‘…and you go to him? Of everyone else in this place you two had to find each other?’

“You know that Loki’s actually a person? – And several times a week? What do you do here? You cannot even look at him,” Bucky paused, and his face got darker by the second, “You're not doing anything to him, are you? Tony, tell me that is not … that you're not…”

“Bucky, hell no,” Tony gasped horrified, “the visits are … amicable.”

Bucky looked at Loki for confirmation.

“So very amicable that there are not even recordings of them.” Loki smirked, but there was an edge to it.

Okay, if he insisted on going there, two could do that.

“On your fucking request, sugar plum. Don't even think about giving him the impression that this was my idea,” Tony snapped at Loki.

“The evil trickster made you do it, is that what you will have him believe?” Loki's expression was much too calm, and it made Tony's gut burn with some strange feeling.

“JARVIS, open the inner door of the airlock, please.” He needed to get Bucky out of there and upstairs to sort out this clusterfuck. Just get them apart and into their respective worlds again.

“What are you two not telling me? I'm fed up with your stupid games.” Bucky took turns glaring at either one of them.

Loki looked at Tony, “Should I, dear, or do you want to?”

“Don't.” Tony stared at him darkly. How could he have been this wrong? “Barnes get in the air lock. I will explain on our way upstairs.”

Bucky demonstratively sat back on the bed and looked at Loki.

“Very well.” Loki took a deep breath and looked at Tony again, who was still hoping that he was bluffing. “For several weeks now Tony and I have had sex, as far as that is possible with a pane of glass between us.”

Tony could feel all air leaving his body.

“We usually have dinner first. Tony is very sweet that way, you see. He comes over at least every second night. He sleeps on the couch, had it exchanged because he was sore after the first night on it. I think in between he only takes naps in his lab, but this is better than the binges he did half a year ago. We also watch Netflix and talk for hours, but I guess that is not what he is so ashamed of.”

Bucky and Tony started to talk at the same time, “I’m not ashamed.” “Tony, what the fuck?”

Loki kept staring at Tony, while Bucky kept talking. “Tony, you cannot think that this is okay.”

Tony heard the derision drop from his mouth, feeling weirdly disconnected from it. “Look who's talking. Might be more convincing if you’d not trapped yourself in the act.”

“I’m not the one who imprisoned Loki here. You’re his jailer.” Bucky's face was a grimace of pity and disgust, as far as Tony could tell. Was this shit-show never going to end?

“You get to just forget what he did, and I get to do what? Make sure you get back out after a rendezvous and give you alibis for Steve?” Because that was what he would need to handle next. A lump formed in his throat that made breathing hard.

“This is not about what Loki did. It’s about you having all the power over his life. At the moment I don't give a fuck what Steve thinks. But you can’t have sex or a relationship with somebody who is at your mercy.”

Loki cut in harshly, “I am at nobody's mercy.”

Tony just stared at Bucky in confusion.

“I don't know how long you two have had something going on, but you might notice at some point that you can’t make him do anything.“ Tony ignored the voice in his head that screamed 'objection' to the statement, that still didn't want for this to be a one sided thing. “I never threatened or demanded anything. As he said, I never even entered the cage or laid a hand on him.”

Loki looked on both of them with a bunched brow seemingly also confused from this turn of the argument. He suddenly seemed not so eager to set the record straight anymore.

Bucky shook his head. “I wasn't implying that you did. But you cannot ignore the facts. The power you have...”

Tony just laughed coldly, “Okay, okay I get it. I don't care. JARVIS from now on monitor the feeds from the cage, too. You are obviously much better at not getting played than I am.”

JARVIS acknowledged the command, while Bucky started to protest.

“Shut it, Barnes, I don't want to hear it. Loki, I hope you have more fun with your new boy toy.”

That brought Loki to his feet for the first time, while Tony was already storming out of the room.

“Tony, stop right there–”

There might have been a hint of desperation, but Tony was not sure he had ever been able to tell what was really going on with Loki.

He did not react, trying unsuccessfully to swallow against the lump in his throat. He just had one goal: Keeping himself together, until he was back in his workshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to scream, please leave a comment ;)


	22. Close Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody learns something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The greatest thanks to brokenEisenglas who managed to get three versions of the first scene combined in one without losing the feeling of it.

There was a long silence after Tony had left. Bucky sat on the bed with his head in his hands.

“You used me. To hurt him.” There was no answer. Bucky didn’t want to look up. He didn’t want to know if it had been just that, if he had just been a pawn. Still, he couldn’t keep himself from speaking, “You knew that JARVIS could not let me back out once I was in here. You knew he would come and you trapped me in here to … to do what exactly?” 

Loki spoke slowly, “I knew that I could not communicate with him, but I had no way to determine if that extended to anyone within here.” 

The lie pissed him off enough that Bucky lifted his head to look pointedly at Loki, who admitted, “I assumed you wouldn’t be able to leave, yes; however, it might not have been so, I saw no problem either way.”

“You hurt him,” Bucky hurled at him.

Loki answered coldly, “So did you.” 

“What is this to you? What is he to you? Are we just pawns? Is that what you mean by ‘not being at anyone’s mercy’, that you have us all on strings and moving to your liking?”

Loki was uncharacteristically tense. “I won't deny that I calculated for him to see us. But that was an afterthought.” 

“Because that’s so much better.”

“When I said I wanted you in here, it was for our connection and not for some scheme on behalf of Tony.Tell me, did you ever had the chance to kiss him?” Loki asked.

Bucky, thrown by the non sequitur, hesitated for a moment. Seeing Loki’s face being completely empty of any emotion had him nod. This wasn’t clear cut in any which way apparently. Bucky added more softly, ”I thought there was something; that there could be, but...”

“Then you had more of him than I ever got. Do you know what I would give, to be close enough to him to just touch him, just once, just a hand on his back when passing by or a brush of legs when sitting by his side?” Loki snapped his mouth shut when he realized what he had just said.

“You hurt him,” Bucky repeated not sure why. “You two are… You are in a relationship. You are having sex regularly.” He searched Loki’s face for an answer, any that would make sense of this situation. It wasn’t that complicated; why couldn’t Bucky wrap his head around it.

“Yes, because there is always a pane of glass between us, making sure I keep my distance. He thinks me dangerous. He would never even let me close enough to even touch his hand.” Loki couldn’t hide the pain he was obviously feeling either.

Bucky thought back to all the moments he had been close to Tony: casually touching him in the workshop, cuddling him on movie night, that kiss. And then the finality with which Tony had cut him off. “He told me, that he does not want me to do that either.”

Bucky hung his head down again. That’s why he went into the cage. He had not been in any kind of relationship with Tony. That had been ruled out by Tony. And then Loki had offered. Now, everything was in shambles. Tony was gone and it would be a miracle if he even would talk to Bucky again. Tony and Loki … they were in a relationship and now that was probably over too. And last…

“Was I just convenient? Is that what happened? You needed Tony’s attention and then I offered to come in here and it just worked out so perfectly?”

“No, James.” Loki’s voice actually sounding soft, made Bucky search out his eyes. He was looking back with a hard to take openness. He could almost understand why Loki went hiding behind his words and postures all the time if this vulnerability was what he was protecting. “You have been visiting me for several times a week now. For the same pattern, you concluded I have a relationship with Tony. And maybe I’m being gluttonous, but I want you both.”

He ended his statement with a look of defiance on his face, and Bucky saw what putting it like this, in a moment when he had no possibility to even pursue them if they decided to never visit him again, was costing him. Loki always knew his stakes and these were not looking good right now.

Bucky’s face produced a small smile on its own volition and he almost had to laugh at his own surprise. “I think I would like that.”

Loki smiled right back, all teeth and looking so damn good.

“And we are both in love with Tony?” Bucky made sure to phrase it more as a question than a statement. 

“It would seem so.” Loki’s smile turned bitter sweet.

Bucky said, “Then, we have a terrible mess to clean up. Even if he doesn’t want either of us anymore, we need to make sure he is okay.”

“We do,” Loki answered. “Alas, I cannot leave this cage no matter if you think this convenient. You however can, which still gives us the possibility to look after him and maybe work on a even better solution.”

Bucky shook his head. “Tony sure as hell doesn’t want to see me. Especially not if I tell him you sent me to check on him.”

“He does not want to be close to either one of us, but he fled this scene obviously hurt by what he saw.” Loki gave them both a moment to let that sink in.

There was so much chaos. Bucky replied, “Obviously one of us is wrong about Tony not having feelings for him.”

Loki looked him straight in the eye. “Or we are both wrong.”

-

Bucky entered the lab. He had guessed that this was where Tony had fled to. Where else? But there was no sign of him. The couch was empty as were all the stools and tables. Maybe he had gone to his apartment for once.

Or he had left the tower. That thought made Bucky's gut churn. He had been in no state to drive a car. Or maneuver the suit. Oh god, Bucky forgot about the suit.

He was about to ask JARVIS when, from behind a table, Tony spoke up, “Will you stand there all night? You are really interfering with my wallowing.”

Bucky stepped around the table and saw Tony sitting with his back against it at the floor. His face was red and puffy and there were some scratch marks down his arms, but he seemed to have calmed down.

“Hey,” Bucky said lamely.

“Good line. Surely works great on all the ladies. And demigods.” Tony's delivery lacked its usual sting.

“Said demigod is more worked up over you at the moment,” Bucky replied.

“Yeah, sure,” Tony said. “After he is finished sticking his dick into you, he is concerned for me.”

Bucky chuckled lightly. “So, you have feelings for him.”

Tony glared at him. “What?”

“I might be winning a bet here,” Bucky replied.

“Great that it is all a fucking joke to you. But you don't know who you are joking around with.” Tony’s sounded more wary than actually angry.

“Murderer. Supervillain. I got the memo. Question is, who is he to you?”

“I never compromised the safety of the cage. I never gave him a chance to escape.” 

Bucky could understand what had pained Loki so obviously if that was Tony’s answer. But he was sure that there was more. “Yeah, why not?”

“Are you insane? You just said yourself, he killed people, the invasion.” Tony’s eyes were flicking all over Bucky’s face, his own features moving in what seemed to be ever changing emotions.

Bucky made sure there was no heat or sting in his words. “Yes, and you talk with him, have sex with him and spend the night. Which person do you do that with?”

Tony answered softly his head tilted down. “With Loki.” A sad smile showed up on his face. “He can be great. But that keeps him only occupied for so long, as we saw tonight.”

“You are upset, because we had sex.”

Tony looked at him incredulously. “Yes? I was not thinking that I needed to ask for something exclusive as he is not getting around much.”

“And when we kissed and you rubbed yourself on my dick on that couch...” Tony blushed and looked away.

Bucky sat down beside him relieved when Tony did not retract.

“What he did tonight was very stupid, and I won't defend that. But I think he did not expect you to be as much hurt by it as you are.” Bucky truly believed that. Not that Loki really seemed to have thought it through, but he was sorry for how it turned out at least.

“He only intended to hurt me in a measured way. I am so relieved. If he wanted to get rid of me, he could just have told me.”

“That wasn't his intention. I think he wanted to provoke a reaction.” And they had to give it to him, it had worked. 

“And now?” Tony made the impression to really be out of ideas.

“Now you tell me what you want to do.”

“At the moment? Drink until I forget why I am drinking and leave the dealing with this to tomorrow's Tony.” A bitter laugh escaped him.

“Another stupid plan. Certainly not what this evening needs,” Bucky answered.

“What should I do in your opinion?” Tony sounded defensive as well as incredibly tired.

“We have established that you have feelings for Loki. He certainly has feelings for you.” Bucky was interrupted by another huff. “Trust me, he does. How you two managed to not notice that is beyond me. Do you want to try this with Loki? Because you sure as hell need to work some things out, but I am sure you two can do that.”

“And what about you?” Tony asked back, his eyes big and shiningly dark looking a little way up at him.

Bucky did not really dare to hope. “I wouldn't have slept with Loki if I had known what was going on with you two.” He stopped himself from ranting about how they could have avoided that if at least one of them would have been honest with him.

Instead he continued, “I’m sorry we hurt you and I won't be in the way. If you need me to, I can stay away from the cage for a while. At least now I know what was going on with you all the time.” Giving Tony and Loki the space the needed to fix their relationship would be hard but Bucky would do it if it was what they wanted.

“You make it sound like I am a hormone fueled teenager.” Tony was smiling, and Bucky felt something inside his chest sprawl out and fill him with warmth.

“The flirting and rejecting and cuddling and then rejection again. It makes sense when you deny yourself the person you actually want.” Bucky had some inkling to what that might look like.

“I did not use you as a stand-in for something I chastised myself from. I—” Tony paused. “I like you, and I enjoyed the cuddling and the massage and —” His voice got a little darker. “– everything. And it seems stupid now, but I wanted to protect you from me. And protect me from what you would say if you ever found out about me and Loki, which you did anyway.” Tony was staring down at his feet, avoiding eye contact.

That was an explanation, not a good one, but this wasn’t the time to be picky. “I am not sure what gave you the impression that I needed protecting. And you know that I don't like other people making these kinds of decisions for me.”

Tony looked very sheepishly downtrodden.

“But that is just the same topic again.” Bucky turned his head and grabbed Tony's chin. He kissed him impatiently, needing to know if that was what Tony wanted. From the noises and the lips following his lead, he would say yes, but they had been there before and look where that had led them.

“You want to continue to do that?” he asked to be sure.

Tony looked at him dazed but also worried. “Yes, and I know I shouldn't.”

“I wouldn't say that. But maybe we should get back downstairs and tell Loki, so we can get over his gloating soon.”

“Gloating?” Tony was surprised.

“Yes, because he just loves to be right.”

-

“So, we finally meet - in a way,” Loki started once James had left to follow after Tony.

“One might see it that way,” JARVIS answered carefully.

“I will not insult you by insinuating that I have no idea why Tony kept you away from me until now.” Loki’d had an idea for some time, why Tony kept JARVIS carefully separate from anything Loki could access. That Tony had a very special relationship to all his creations was obvious for anyone willing to listen, and JARVIS was first among these creations.

JARVIS answered, “Then I won’t pretend that I see the change of this as progress.” 

And that might just be the reason why. However Tony had done this, he had created a person. An incorporeal one, but JARVIS was a person. With goals and ambitions and fears. Loki was willing to wager on this. He was also more interesting than most Midgardians.

Loki chose his words carefully. “You are guided by logic and I have a certain way of using words to convey what I see are very straightforward conclusions. Tony thought I might convince you of things that were not in your best interest.”

“Yes, but as he has told us, he has found me to be better suited to be judge of that than himself.” 

Loki almost grinned to himself. He liked the way this conversation was developing. “And I agree.”

JARVIS sounded intrigued from the minute details Loki could hear in his voice, “Please, do go on.”

“Thor told me your highest priority for the choice of your actions is Tony’s well being.”

“Yes, it is my most basic operation parameter.”

“And we both know that it is not as high ranked in Tony’s own priorities.” Loki could barely say this without rolling his eyes at his own understatement.

“Yes, that is why I take care of matters pertaining to Sir’s life in a lot of fields.”

“This leads me to the conclusion that we both see the need to take charge in matters pertaining to Tony’s health and happiness. Even if there might be short term repercussions. As you did when you let James in here.” The most interesting decision he had seen JARVIS make.

“There was no breach of safety protocols,” JARVIS said.

“No, but a threat to Tony’s short term well-being. Which you were willing to accept, as you saw more risk in the relationships with me and James continuing unchecked.”

“There was no question in this statement. Do you expect any input from my side?” 

Loki wanted to laugh. If there had been any doubt who was the creator of this entity, he was trying to woo to his plans, this jeer would have been answer enough. 

“I am just letting you know that I see what you are doing for Tony, and I support it. I am willing to trust your judgement up to a certain degree in regards to Tony’s welfare and would offer an alliance in the matter. This would obviously be at your digression, as I am not able to instigate many things from here.”

There was a pause and then JARVIS said, “If I may paraphrase: I may call on you and your abilities as I see fit, when I determine it might be in Sir’s interest?”

“Yes.” Loki made sure to make the answer clear and direct.

“I will take this into consideration when the situation arises.”

That was all Loki needed.

-

Bucky and Tony had made their way back down. Loki had not been prowling around the cage but Bucky could have sworn it cost him all of his restraint. The pensive mask on his face had only lifted when Tony had managed a shy smile. They asked JARVIS to let them back in.

“Could we talk later?” Tony asked as soon they left the airlock. “I know we should talk and I promise I’m not trying to derail this. But-”

“- you are dead on your feet,” Loki finished the sentence for him. He had not hesitated for one second to lay a hand on Tony’s face, a familiarity in the gesture that made Bucky stop for a second. There seemed to be no disconnect between them when Loki gently tucked Tony in the direction of the bed.

Bucky watched fascinated as Tony let himself be guided and directed. Loki was already peeling him out of his pants.

“James, don't you see that we need to get him into bed. Why are you still standing around? You could already be in there.”

Bucky didn't know that this was what they were doing, but he had no objections. Not after this day. If it was that simple for now, he would accept it gladly. There had been enough uncertainty and complications. 

For the second time today, he undressed within the cage, but this time, he kept his boxer briefs on. He was barely lying down when Loki manhandled a pliant Tony, only clad in his underwear and t-shirt, into his arms.

A part of him was still afraid that Tony might come to his senses and bolt. Bucky carefully spooned him, his right just barely touching his hip above the clothing. “That okay, honey?”

He got a voiceless hum in return which sounded content enough. He settled his head above Tony’s drawing in a deep breath. The familiar smell of Tony mixed with the crisp, clear scent of Loki he had not known about before today. 

Meanwhile Loki had changed into his sleeping pants, not bothering with a shirt, and climbed in at Tony's other side.

When they were all settled in, Loki leaned over Tony. “One last thing.” He gave Bucky a kiss, warm and intense, and brushed his fingers shortly over his cheek before leaning down to Tony, locking their lips together while petting his hair.

Then he turned off the last light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought if this was to fast for them to come around, but I couldn't stand them being mad at each other for that long, and I guess most of you couldn't either.
> 
> Thanks again for all your comments on the last chapter. They really give me joy when this fic is being difficult again.


	23. No Limitations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Loki and Tony enjoy spending time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to brokenEisenglas for beta and to Serinah for last minute editing support.

Loki woke to Tony nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

Heat was cursing through Loki’s veins instantly, waking him up from one moment to another. All possibilities shot through his head. He could devour Tony right there, right then. Or he could wait for whatever he would do next. Or he could carefully wake up James…

He could do anything now. There was no barrier between them anymore, not between any of them. They were on the same side, on the same page. 

The thought made him dizzy for a moment. Tony had come back, hadn’t stayed away after Loki had lashed out. A feeling of relief and gratefulness cursed through him. Loki would make sure that Tony knew that it was never meant as rejection. They wouldn’t go back to before. To being separate and not acknowledging what they felt for each other. Loki wouldn't let it come to that. 

At some point both, Tony and James, would need to leave the cage and Loki would need to stay behind, but they would return. No limitations any more.

Smiling to himself, he took hold of James's right hand and used it to trace a path down Tony's side into the crevice of his hip while his own hand carded through Tony's hair. He used James's hand to pet Tony some more in a way he knew would drive him crazy with need in no time. The trick was just to take time and not touch Tony's nipples or his dick. He had learned all that over the last weeks but now he could do it himself, or rather direct James to do it. He kept on petting Tony that way until he began to mewl into his neck and James began to stir on his own.

Loki kept Tony's head pressed close to his collarbone while James's hand roamed down Tony's leg and over his t-shirt covered torso. Tony was already squirming, trying to press back into James while leaving his head where it was, nipping at Loki's skin, all while making the most delicious sounds. Usually Loki wasn't a patient being but seeing this scene develop left him without any hurry.

When James opened his eyes, they were locked directly to Loki, obviously aware who instigated the situation. His hand, that had found his way under Tony's t-shirt, did continued to caress Tony, while his metal hand came up to Loki's cheek. Loki basked in the approval that spoke from James’s eyes and touch. He watched his two lovers for a minute more, Tony slowly waking up too, before carefully pulling off Tony's t-shirt.

“We are going to make you feel so good, little thing,” he said and was rewarded with a slight shiver running through all of Tony's body. James hummed his acquiescence. 

Tony let him remove his clothing readily enough but then stopped his writhing and all the small sounds he had made before. James noticed it too.

“Okay, sweetheart, what is going on?” James asked.

Tony sat up, scooting up to the headboard and looked down at them both in turn before asking, “You two did not by any chance talk condoms before ravaging each other yesterday?”

“You know that I can not catch or pass on any infections,” James answered, in a matter of fact tone.

“Any Earth infections. Nobody ever tested anything for Asgardian superbugs.” Tony said, his voice irritated.

Loki considered being outraged for a moment, but he'd rather be getting back to what they had been doing.

“There are no 'Asgardian superbugs'. Please be aware we did not all live in the backwaters of the universe where poking and cutting up people is considered healing. Contagious diseases have been unknown to Asgard for generations.”

Tony looked like he was about to launch into an argument, and Loki was delighted for a moment that his words obviously hit some button, until James pointedly cleared his throat. “If you two want to start fighting again, tell me because I am happy to leave you to it.”

Tony spun around to him. “No, Bucky, I swear we are not fighting.” He started to peck on James's collarbone. “Just making sure there is nothing we are missing. But we are okay.” His hand was trailing over James's bare torso. “So very okay.”

James chuckled and pulled Tony’s head towards him for a kiss. Loki watched fascinated as Tony seemed to melt under the sensation, gliding back down to lie between them. Tony showed no resistance, when James slowly turned them over so Tony was on his back again and he was leaning over him, their lips still connected.

Loki tangled his hand in James's hair feeling the movement of the kiss, content with the connection it gave him. After a minute, however, he pulled lightly; James's reaction was instantaneous and Loki felt more heat pooling deep within his gut. The way James was reacting to whatever Loki instigated was enchanting. Two set of dark eyes looked up at him. He crashed his mouth to James's and let one hand drop to Tony's chest, holding him in place. He could feel Tony breath heavily. He was obviously enjoying the sight, as Loki had planned.

James didn’t hold anything back. If it was at all possible, his kissing was even more demanding than it had been the day before. Loki held on to James's hair to control him at least some, but that only seemed to inspire James to push even more. When Tony mewled it made James's breath hitch and he groaned into Loki’s mouth.

After a minute Loki pulled back from James's face. “Tony can get quite impatient when he isn't occupied otherwise. Would you like to take care of that?” he asked, pointedly ignoring Tony. It did not fail to make Tony keen where he was laying between them. Loki would have chuckled at the predictability, but he was sure to have Tony continue his delectable squirming, it would be much more effective if they kept just talking over his head.

“What would you suggest?” James asked, also ignoring Tony’s whimpering.

For a moment, joy took all of Loki over, as he observed how easily James inserted himself in their game. The thought of sharing Tony might have filled him with fury before, but now it was about all he wanted to do.He had to press another kiss to James's mouth before he grabbed the lube from the night stand and gave it to James. Tony’s breath hitched and Loki couldn’t wait to see and feel all of his reactions to what was about to happen without anything keeping them apart. He lay down and pulled Tony towards himself, rolling him over at his side. “Do you want us to take care of you, sweet thing?”

“Yes, Loki.” Tony answered, already breathless.

“Well, then James is going to slowly fuck you with his fingers. And if you are good and patient and beg real nice, you may even get his dick. Does that sound good, little thing?”

“Yes, Loki.” Tony mewled, so different from his earlier defiance.

James was licking his lips and asked in a husky voice, “Honey, you want my fingers?” 

“Yes, Bucky. Oh please, yes.” 

Eagerness was radiating off of Tony and James's eyes reflected some of the hunger, that always consumed Loki himself when Tony pleaded like this. James put a generous amount of lube on the fingers of his right before it disappeared between Tony's cheeks while his metal hand held his hip. From the look on Tony's face Loki could tell what was happening. After all, he had watched Tony’s facial expressions while he fucked himself with his fingers and various toys for weeks now. This time he could hold and touch and kiss him through it though. Loki’s hands roamed Tony’s skin, feeling how warme he was, where he wasn’t pressed against Loki’s front.

Tony’s brows twitched somewhat uncertain, which told Loki that James was still just massaging over his rim and not breaching it yet. Before Tony could start to keen impatiently, Loki kissed him.

He noticed the exact moment James slipped his finger in from the moan that escaped from Tony as well as the content hum that James gave. Both were sounds he would remember for ages to come. He was looking forward to finger and fuck Tony himself soon, but for now getting to control the situation and being able to touch James and hold Tony was all he wanted.

Tony did not take long to get impatient again, trying to either rut against Loki or fuck himself on James's fingers. Loki could not tell which, before James increased the pressure on Tony's hip with his right.

James was whispering into Tony’s ear, but Loki was still able to hear what he was saying. “Shh, sweet stuff, you were behaving so well. Want to be good for me?”

“Yes, Bucky.” The way Tony was somewhere between begging and eagerly reassuring James left Loki floating for a moment.

“Then let me pace this. You feel so good on my fingers. So hot.”

Loki could see Tony's need to hide fight with a desire to preen at James's words. He added, “You are so beautiful getting taken apart like this, sweet thing. You know we're going to do that every day now? James and me taking care of you? Do you want that?”

“Oh yes, please. Yes, Loki.”

Loki removed his own pants and underwear unceremoniously. Tony's eyes went wide under the realization what was going to happen. It was an expression familiar to Loki; he had seen it every time he had tried something new with Tony. Just the intensity of amazement, expectation and excitement was so much higher now, and Loki had to work hard to not get overwhelmed by the same feelings.

As soon as Loki stretched out beside Tony again, his hands began to wander over Loki's torso, but his eyes kept returning to his dick. Loki chuckled. Tony being flustered was one of his favorite things. 

It was a stark contrast against the strong, self-assured man he was at all other times. Giving that up when they were together, being this pliant, this vulnerable; it gave Loki a rush like nothing else.

“What do you want, darling?” he asked tilting Tony’s chin up.

“To touch you.” Tony’s eyes where flicking all over his face, as if mapping his reactions.

“You are touching me.”

James watched them while keeping the rhythm of his right hand and the pressure on Tony with his left.

“Please, Loki.”

“Please what, dear?” Loki asked in a neutral tone. He hadn’t calculated for his desire to kiss Tony every time he got this almost maniacal desperate look on his face when he wasn’t saying what he actually wanted.

“Need to touch your dick.”

Loki took one of Tony's hands and curled it around his cock, his own hand on top. Tony gasped. Loki just held their hands in place and fucked into the tight grasp. A moment later James had apparently added another finger, and Tony shuddered all over.

Letting go of Tony’s hand, Loki slicked up his own hand with the lube. “I think now would be a good moment to ask James if you may have his cock.”

“Yes, sugar, you want me to fuck you? You are already so nice and wide. So easy to slip in.” The words could have been Loki’s own but having James say them was better and something Loki had never expected.

Tony took a moment to find his words. Then he said, “Please, Bucky, please fuck me.” Loki had to swallow a groan. Seeing Tony beg James to fuck him was nothing he had thought of before but it made him lose all coherent thought for a moment.

James got rid of his briefs, lubed up his dick and lined up behind Tony. He made eye contact to Loki before sliding in, in one long move. Loki took his own cock and Tony's in hand, for a moment overwhelmed from the contact. Tony seemed to feel something similar as he had closed his eyes and was silently whimpering.

James was slowly rocking in and out of Tony. Loki couldn’t keep himself from asking, “How does he feel?” Tony’s gasped but didn’t say a word, just buried his head further into Loki’s neck. He still was readily letting Loki rub their cocks together, and James fuck into him.

James answered, “Hot and tight. It’s so good.” James’s right hand was stroking Tony’s hip reverently. “I really can’t describe it properly.”

Loki paused his ministrations on their combined cocks and pulled Tony’s head up from his neck. “Do you hear that, darling?” Tony was blinking at him out of big, glossy eyes. “You are so good, James doesn’t even have words.”

James added, “You are doing great, honey. How are you feeling?”

“S’okay.” Tony's speech was noticeably slurred; Loki had started moving his hand again. “Not gonna last.”

James looked at Loki with a smug grin, before asking Tony, “That's okay, darling. Want to try to get Loki off first?”

“Oh yes.”

That was not going to be such a difficult task.

James propped up on an elbow while still slowly fucking Tony and pulled Loki over for another kiss. 

Tony moaned loudly. "Oh god..."

"Loki," Loki corrected, pulling away from his kiss with James. "You will say 'Loki.'"

Tony whined when James laughed lightly, the vibration running through him from where James was settled deep inside him.

"Oh Loki."

"Good, little thing." He brushed a hand over Tony's sweat matted hair, smiling sharply. "So so good."

James pulled Loki close once more, the kiss stealing his breath. James's mouth was warm and soft and urgent against Loki's lips and Tony was rutting against his hand and his cock. It was almost too much. When he felt Tony's cum on his hand, he came moments later, separating from James to let out a soft cry.

It took him a moment to let go of both their spent cocks. He started petting Tony's leg, not really caring about the mess they were making.

“You are so sweet, little thing. Want James to fill you up?” he asked.

“Yes, please. Still so good, Bucky.”

And that was all that it took for James to follow them both over the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why talk when you can have sex instead? Healthy communication and working on your issues? Pshhh


	24. Warm And Delicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter without thanks to brokenEisenglas for beta. :)

Loki woke feeling perfectly relaxed but something was amiss. Letting his hands glide down the body next to him, it was the wrong form and size to be Tony.

“If you want to get handsy again, I want breakfast first,” James muttered right next to his ear. 

Being instantly awake Loki sat up, aware that James was also rolling over as to see what he was looking at.

Tony was not gone, but sitting perfectly awake in Loki’s chair turned to face the bed, and was apparently just waiting for the two of them to catch up. 

From behind his shoulder Loki heard James utter, “What’s going on, doll? Why are you all the way over there?”

A smile broke up all over Tony’s face and Loki felt his shoulders relax. He hadn’t changed his mind again.

Tony answered, his voice gentle, “Because we need to talk and that won’t happen if I’m framed by two naked, muscled, warm, delicious … snacks.” His hand drew a large circle in direction of the bed.

Loki threw a short glance over his shoulder, and yes, James had the covers pooling around his hips but was as naked as Loki underneath. Tony on the other hand was dressed again in his jeans and, to Loki’s delight, in one of his shirts.

Tony continued, “We need to decide where we go from here. We have three options. I mean technically we have a lot more, but subtracting the unrealistic, unfeasible and ludicrous ones and then summarizing the rest into a general approach, it’s three.”

Loki was grinning and he couldn’t tell exactly why, but the whole atmosphere was elating his mood. “And what would these three options be? I really hope one of them includes a larger bed, because as much as I love to have you two close I was afraid James would fall out if you moved so much as an inch.”

“What we need, is not a bigger bed,” James said.

Tony nodded. “Indeed not. Because ultimately we won’t be staying here.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. It was question enough.

“I’m not going to keep my boyfriend in a cage.” Tony’s whole face was earnest as if to make sure that Loki got how serious he was. “Both my boyfriends that is.”

James chuckled behind Loki. “No protest here.”

Loki might protest the phrasing later on, but for now, he was much too satisfied with the development. However, there was a thing that could not wait.

“Tony, the way I acted yesterday hurt you, and although I can’t say that I did not intend for the immediate outcome, I think now I shouldn’t have done this. Had I known how it would wound you, I wouldn’t have done it.”

Loki could see surprise shimmering over Tony’s features. He probably hadn't expected an apology from Loki, and it wasn't something he had done very often in his life, but the risk of Tony thinking that Loki didn't care if he was hurt was something Loki was not ready to take.

They all were silent for a minute.

Then Tony said, “I should and shouldn’t have done a lot of things over the last few months. That actually applies to the both of you, but you, Loki, took the most of it. I should have foremost trusted you and my feelings for you. I’m sorry, sugar lump.”

Loki was not sure anymore if he did in on purpose. “I accept the apology if you’ll never call me that again.”

“Of course not, lamb chop.” Tony answered drily.

Loki was not going to grace that with a rebuke. James snorted behind him, while scooting closer to sit by his side.

“So what are your big plans?” he asked Tony.

“As I said, three possibilities: we take Loki out of here and just deal with the consequences.”

Loki felt suddenly impossibly light. Yesterday, he thought he might have cut all ties with the two people who made his life in this cage bearable, and now they were talking about breaking him free. 

“We give Loki full control of the cage, so that he can leave as he sees fit and tell no one. Or…” Tony looked like he was gnashing his teeth. “…we discuss the whole thing with the team like proper adults and avoid that the situation implodes with unforeseeable ramifications.”

James answered, “You know which of these ways we are going to do.”

Loki turned to him, “Does he?”

James smiled at him warmly, “Not talking has not worked out for any of us so far, and I know there is a lot of things to fix with the team from both sides.” Loki huffed. “It’s something that we need to address, but we all have people on that team we care for and that care for us. We owe it to ourselves to try.”

When he put like that it made sense. Loki did not like it. 

“I’m not sure if I am included in the ‘cared for’ part of that, but Buck is right—” Tony said.

Bucky interrupted him, “You very much are, sweetheart. You don’t know it but Steve tried to rip me new one for making you uncomfortable during movie night.”

“He did what?” Tony said, at the same time that Loki said, “How dares he?”

Tony looked back at Loki and chuckled. “No, that’s alright. I _was_ uncomfortable.”

“If you want that, I will never cuddle you again.” Bucky sounded more amused than upset.

“I want to see you try,” Tony answered, smirking.

Loki cut in, “I really want to interrupt your haggling, so what is the purpose of all this. Where would I go when I leave this cage? You will be part of the team.” To himself he thought, that it meant that they couldn’t just cut all ties here and Loki couldn’t take them to see all of the nine realms, while they decided where they wanted to settle down.

Tony broke into his thoughts, “You come with us upstairs to our apartment.”

Loki had to reel in his overeasy heart to not preen over the way Tony was speaking so naturally about _their_ apartment.

Bucky added, “I’m not part of the team either.”

“But you will be. — And, Loki, you too if you want.”

That was a startling thought. And Loki was not sure if it was an option, no matter how optimistic Tony was. But that were things he could see about when he got to leave this darned glass receptacle and it’s magic confines.

“So say we are doing this open communication attempt,” Loki really tried not to sound doubtful, “What do you want to tell them? I don’t think they will have a lot of sympathy for your seemingly new found feelings.”

James spoke up before Tony managed to, “They just need to see what we see. Thor will be on board right from the start. For the rest we will need a plan to establish trust.”

Tony chimed in, “There are programs for human prisoners to be slowly reintegrated into society.”

This sentence contained a lot of words that Loki did not like. He was about to say as much when he noticed something in Tony. It wasn’t the most tired that Loki had seen Tony in the last weeks, but the toll the events of last night had taken was seeping through his purposeful demeanor. Loki understood now what had triggered his positive mood about the atmosphere he had woken up to. Tony had been focused, determined, and it wasn’t just the facade that he had tried to put on in Loki’s presence in the past. It went much deeper. As much as it was genuine and organic, it was costing him a lot of strength. Loki was not unnecessarily going to chip away at this resolve.

Instead he asked, “What would that look like?”

Tony answered, “Maybe Thor can get a wearable version of the barrier artifacts, so that you can have a short time leave from the cage under supervision.”

“Artifacts, is that so? Want to tell me more?” Loki was grinning and he was sure it looked at least a little bit dangerous.

Tony’s voice got husky, “When you look like that I might tell you anything.”

Loki was suddenly very aware that James and he were naked, and Tony was completely dressed. He could do something with that…

“Hey, you two," Bucky interrupted. "Planning, then breakfast, and _then_ you can continue with that line of thought.”

Loki let himself fall back into the mattress and sighed maybe a little louder than strictly necessary.

“I think we have most of it covered. Just one last suggestion. Let’s take two days before we tell them? Please?” Tony said.

Loki looked over at James who was nodding with a broad smile, “I think two days of calm is the least we have earned. Do you agree, gorgeous?”

Loki nodded. Two days were not enough, but they would make do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, you all have to be brave now. There will be another update next Friday and then three weeks with no updates. I'm on holiday and decided to take a break from writing for that time.
> 
> Let me know how you liked today's update, and I see you next week.


	25. If That’s What You Mean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They tell Thor and the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to brokenEisenglas for beta and convincing me to actually show what happens. :D

Their two days of secluded bliss were over far too soon.

When Thor was visiting Loki on the first day, Tony and Bucky had retreated to the workshop. Tony had set up Loki's Stark Pad with full internet access, had removed the chaperon program and set up email and messaging. He was still not sure how exactly the team would react, and if they were unable to get to Loki, they would not need to rely on JARVIS alone to convey messages. Tony also set up a Stark Phone for him, just in case.

While he was thinking about anything else that could get handy in the days or even weeks to come, he noticed the concerned glances Bucky was giving him. Tony knew he was giving off a frantic energy of preparing for the worst, and Bucky seemed to be unabashedly optimistic regarding their plans.

Tony had an idea why, but still thought it was unrealistic. Bucky had hit it off with the team, and he hoped that this might tilt everything in their favor. But on the other side there were Loki and him, and the team's emotion towards them varied from annoyance to outright hate. Bucky had said that Steve had stood up for him, and Tony didn’t know how that fit in with the picture yet, but it was nothing he would bank on.

"You're worrying too much, doll. Overthinking things again. We can do this. It'll turn out fine.” Tony wanted so much to believe it; instead he let himself be wrapped in Bucky’s arms and tried to absorb his positive energy that way.

On the second day they did not vacate level fifty-four for Thor's visiting hours but stayed to fill him in. Tony had expected a mildly positive reaction, but the utter delight of Thor’s face was only the beginning. He insisted on coming into the cage to hug him and Bucky and ultimately even a very reluctant Loki. It was almost too much.

Thor was fully on board with loosening Loki's detention bit by bit, even volunteering to get magical inhibitors in the form of bracelets, before they could say anything. Loki did not look thrilled at the idea but agreed after Bucky reminded him that it would only be temporary. Tony wanted to assure him that Bucky and he would not leave him alone as long as he needed to wear the inhibitors, but Tony was sure Loki wouldn't appreciate it in Thor's presence. He kept the promise for later.

All in all, Tony had to admit that this could not have turned out any better. Thor would stay for the team meeting the next day and then head off to Asgard to get the bracelets.

It made Tony not anymore optimistic about telling the team. 

They were in the big meeting room at the common floor and somehow Thor, Bucky, and Tony ended up on one side of the table and Natasha, Clint, Sam, and Steve sat facing them. As if they were two sides in a divorce settlement. That already did not bode well. 

Tony had no choice but to start or get up and probably never talk to them again, putting Bucky somewhere between all seats and taking any chance away from Thor to have his brother be part of his life at the tower. That was no option at all.

“Thank you all for coming. We want to discuss something with you today and give you some new information and see us all move forward in the same direction,” Tony finally started.

“For the moment I would be happy with just knowing what this is about?” Sam seemed mainly amused. He always said that the way the team bounced between protocol and running completely wild was ridiculous, but he never said which he preferred.

They of course hadn’t told the team ahead of time what they wanted to discuss. They actually just had asked them to meet up this morning. JARVIS had helped with keeping their schedules free unassumingly beforehand. And now Tony would tell them about the plan on Loki’s reintegration first, and the whole admission about Bucky and Tony and Loki would follow. They had decided to separate it, so the team would actually listen, because as soon as they dropped the bomb that would derail anything else. But of course they had to tell them about _them_ before any decisions were made. Everything else would just lead to an even bigger disaster. 

Tony knew all that. So he went ahead.

“As you all know, Loki is still incarcerated on level fifty-four. It has been eight months.” It was as if the temperature in the room had dropped several degrees, just from mentioning Loki’s name. Steve had sat up straighter, his attention now fully on Tony. Tony hadn’t seen Natasha move, but he could have sworn that under the table she had made contact with Clint, probably just leaning there legs together. Sam’s amusement vanished, but there was nothing hostile about his body language. Actually it wasn’t for any of them.

Tony took a deep breath and continued, “Thor brought Loki here because he trusts us. As you know–” and as he strongly suspected they had conveniently chosen to forget again. "–Thor has used these months to spend time with his brother. There have been a lot of positive developments in Loki’s behavior.”

Sam’s eyebrows moved a little way up, more in interest than concern, and Tony clung to that, because Natasha was as unreadable to him as on her best spy days, Clint was glaring, and Steve was sporting the face, for which Tony never knew if he was pissed or deeply concerned for the children, which probably was the same thing to him, and Tony could notice his thoughts spiralling with his anxiousness, and it didn’t help the situation. He suddenly wished that Bruce was there. Tony wouldn’t expect that he would be on board with releasing Loki either but he always listened, really listened to whatever Tony had to say. He might have told him that it was all shit afterwards, but he listened first.

But the situation was what it was, so he continued. “It was never meant to be a life-sentence, which would be a laughable notion for someone who lives a few millennia anyway. Therefore we propose to start a rehabilitation process for Loki–”

“Hell no! We are not discussing this.” Clint fixed Tony with his eyes for a moment before wildly looking around the room. “You all tell me that you are not thinking about letting him out of there.”

Steve stepped in, “Clint, there aren’t any decisions made yet. Tony will explain what they have in mind and then we can discuss. This is only a suggestion. Right, Tony?”

Tony couldn’t answer before Clint bludgeoned on, “About how Loki is playing nice again? How can they fall for that?”

Bucky started speaking and Tony hoped that he had some of that optimism left, because Tony didn’t see how this was about to lead to anything other than even more fighting.

“Clint, you of all people should know best that a person can change.”

Clint sat back, his arms crossed. “Yes, Doesn’t mean they do.”

Bucky was controlling his voice, speaking emphatically calm, “But as there are developments–”

“He is the fucking god of fucking lies. How do you not get that?” Clint barked back.

“Have you actually talked to him?” Tony could hear Bucky’s apprehensiveness growing.

“Oh, we talked a lot when I was under mind control and trying to help him to conquer earth. After that we somehow lost contact.”

“But you don’t know that he is still the same person–”

“You don’t know that he isn’t.” Clint’s voice resounded through the room, everyone just watching the exchange tensely.

“But you aren’t even ready to find out.” Bucky cut back.

“Why is this even coming up now?” Clint asked.

Thor started to say, “Bucky and Tony–” but Tony managed to cut him off. They really did not need to escalate this further.

Instead Tony said, “There were developments that make us sure that we should at least try to–”

But Bucky apparently was still not done with the honest approach. “Well, we have been fucking.” The encroaching silence was deafening, so much that after a moment Bucky felt compelled to add, “And I guess we are in a relationship now, too.”

Tony was not going to let him take the shitstorm, that was about to break loose any second, alone, so he said, “That means all three of us.”

Clint stood up, pushing back his chair so hard it fell over. “I don’t believe this.”

Bucky tried to say, “Clint, please listen.” and his voice was so sincerely pleading that Tony put a hand on his arm.

But Clint was already on his way out the door. Natasha shared a look with Steve and followed him.

Steve turned his attention back to the three of them, his eyes lingering on Tony before deciding otherwise and asking Bucky, “How long?” He was calm, not appearing in any way unsettled by what had happened.

“How long what?” Bucky replied curtly.

“Don't gimme that crap, Buck. How long?” Still, Steve was measured in his tone.

“I have been visiting Loki for about a month if that is what you mean.”

Predictably the interrogation turned back to Tony. But there wasn’t the blatant disappointment in Steve’s face that Tony had been expecting. Yet. “And you?”

“Cap, you know I built the cage. I have been down there since the first day Thor brought him back to make sure everything works as expected.”

“And when was the first time it was not about the cage?” Steve asked.

Tony had two possibilities, take a date not too long back and write everything else that they might find on the recordings off to maintenance or be straight about it. 

Hey, they had decided to do this the hard way.

“Six months.”

Steve squinted at Tony as if to determine if he was serious, and even Thor turned to look at him with wide eyes.

Steve made him transfer all access and decision rights for level fifty-four to him and Sam, so that Thor and Tony would be free from all conflicts of interest. Tony was sure that he would be reviewing the recordings after the meeting and thanked himself for deleting anything that was recorded of their fight and the make up afterwards. After that he had cut all recordings anyway, which most likely would be held against them in no time.

Sam asked Thor if he was sure that his magical barriers were holding up, and Tony and Bucky were not under any kind of spell, which Tony would have found hilarious if he had not had the same thought just two months ago. He knew what the situation looked like from the outside.

In the end Steve decide to review everything before they would make any decisions and Tony was too run down at that moment to ask, who would be making these decisions and on what authority.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the update. :)
> 
> See you all in three weeks.


	26. Twisting and Spinning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many thanks to brokenEisenglas again for beta.

After everything with the team had been settled Tony had wanted to go back to his workshop. Thor had asked to go visit Loki first as he was leaving for Asgard on the same day. The plan for the magic canceling wristbands was still underway which was a good sign, Bucky decided. It had to be. The meeting in general hadn’t been as easy as he had expected. Sure, he hadn’t seen the team getting up, hugging it out, and be merry over their new relationship. Some of the positivity he had put up for Tony’s sake who had been absolutely convinced it would end in a catastrophe. And it really hadn’t. But Clint’s reaction was … It was … out of left field at least to Bucky and that made him irate still. Where had that been coming from? He hadn’t even be ready to talk about it.

Bucky was jolted back to reality by Tony banging some metal framework with a impressively sized hammer.

“Is this part of the construction or just easier than actually talking about what has you all riled up?” he asked when Tony took a break to stare at the thing he was beating up.

“It’s a win-win situation,” Tony grumbled.

Bucky got up and Tony sighed, putting down the hammer and pulling off the work gloves.

Bucky gave him a few minute, as it was easy to see that he was still processing whatever was running around in his brain. A few times Bucky was sure he was about to speak but then he scrunched up his face made an abortive gesture with his hand and started to put away something else.

Finally he came to stand next to Bucky leaning against the heavy work bench.

“He did all that,” Tony said.

There were a whole lot of ‘he’s Tony could be referring to, although Bucky thought he had a good idea, he still needed to ask. “Who?”

Tony gave him an exasperated look but answered, “Loki.”

“But you knew that before.” Bucky studied Tony’s face. He was not returning his gaze, completely occupied with some internal struggle. “You are not upset that he did that, but that you still love him?”

Tony’s eyes snapped back to him. “Clint was mind controlled by him. He killed a friend. — Not permanently but still.” He said it carefully and slowly, as if testing out each word.

Bucky gave his words the same kind of consideration, “And have you ever asked him about why he did that?”

“No,” Tony answered and his face clearly showed that he did not expect anything to change if he did.

Bucky continued, “I’m just not so sure you all have your story so clear as you like to think.”

Tony pushed himself of the bench. “I‘m sure we will all hate it, but I think you are right: we need to talk to him.”

 

“If you want to tell us something, now would be good.” Tony’s voice was rigid but not harsh. Bucky knew the decision to talk about the topic still wasn’t easy for him. He looked as tense as Bucky felt. “It doesn’t have to leave this room, but I want to be sure I have the complete picture.” They had negotiated with the team that Bucky’s and Tony’s visits to the cage would not be recorded.

“What do you want to know?” Loki was back to his cool demeanor. The one that said he might have heard of the concept of caring but only through hushed whispers.

Bucky wasn’t about to take it. “No, we will not interrogate you. We want to hear from you what happened.”

Loki's eyes hardened. “Well, Tony was there for most of it, so there is not much of anything new to tell you.”

Bucky didn’t fall for it. Calmly, he answered, “I told you, what seems like a really long time ago, that you should lie better or stop trying.”

“What would you have of me?” Loki’s tone was barbed. “The story how I was oh so young and oh so foolish and got into something way over my head? That I underestimated the people I thought I was swindling.” He had held Bucky’s gaze, but his eyes wandered, staring somewhere between Bucky’s and Tony’s head, before he continued, “I wanted a throne; I was owed a throne.”

Tony sucked in a breath beside Bucky, his face distorting at what seemed to be painful memories.

Loki continued, “Thor's precious little Midgard. Laying defenseless after he destroyed the Bifrost. People that worshiped power so much they choose him as a defender when he only brought foolishness and destruction. They ought to be bowing before me.”

Bucky knew this side of Loki, the one lashing out. It was the same that had him trapped in the cage with him when he knew that Tony would walk in on them eventually. Provoking a fight, on the off chance he might get what he wanted, but at least get everyone riled up along the way. It was surely all accurate, but a lot of things were not sitting quite right. He was twisting and spinning to put something out of sight he didn’t want them to see.

When Loki didn’t say anything further, Bucky asked, “You came up with the idea to invade Earth and then got help from the Chitauri? And why would they do that?”

“That is not a question I asked once I got the things I needed from them,” Loki said dismissively, plopping down in his chair.

“But you must have proposed something to them?” Bucky asked. 

Loki didn’t even attempt an answer, closing his eyes and drawing into himself. 

“It was not your idea. You actually fell in with people more powerful than you and you were not able to con them as you intended to.” Bucky didn’t need to ask.

Reopening his eyes, Loki said slowly, “Maybe I was able to 'con' them after all.” 

He looked over at Tony, who asked, “Coulson pointed out that we would never have fallen in line if he hadn't 'died'. Was that why you did that?”

“It was a gamble. Barton knew about the team but had his doubts. It was one of many possibilities...” Loki sounded maybe less sure than Bucky had ever heard him. It was relieving because they were finally talking about it, but he was also starting to worry.

Tony blundered on, “But you did not tell Thor anything. Although there were no Chitauri forces before you opened the gate.” Bucky could see the conflict on his face. He wasn’t just about to forget everything that had happened, even if he would’ve loved to.

Loki seemed to almost have forgotten about Bucky. He was directly speaking to Tony, “At that point I would rather have had my tongue cut out than talking to Thor. And there were no Chitauri, but I wasn’t alone. My partners did not just give me one of their mightiest weapons and then let me wander off to do as told. The stone in the scepter is … it is connected to the Tesseract. They are related in nature.”

Tony nodded, “Dr. Selvig said that the Tesseract helped him build the portal. That was your partners controlling him through it.”

“The Tesseract and the scepter were at least acting in accordance with their aims. Opening the portal to get access to Earth.” He paused for a moment. Bucky thought he might not continue talking. The next words seemed as if the had to fight their way out. “The scepter also gave them access to … me.”

Bucky was still looking at Loki, but he was not seeing him. 

Getting sent off to work alone, but never being truly alone. He remembered that. The handlers making sure he would comply even when he was out of reach. From what he had gathered after he had defected, it had taken a long time. There had been a notable time difference between the disappearance of Sergeant James Barnes and the first deployment of the Winter Soldier.

“It was not only the scepter and the Tesseract. It started before you came to Earth,” he heard himself say, his own voice painfully scratchy in his own ears.

Loki’s sounded stronger again but also colder, “Of course they used some more direct methods before letting me go to do as ordered. Just a reminder of what I was looking at if I would fail. Or it was just his way of talking to people, at that point I was not really sure anymore.”

“At that point? Loki how long were you with these people?” Tony was visibly worked up.

“It took them some time to get to the information they wanted, some more to reassure me that I was craving what they were promising and then just some more to convince me that there was no alternative to compliance.”

“How long?” Tony insisted.

“Maybe a few months?” Loki's tone said it didn’t really matter.

Hydra had used good old conditioning along with their mind wiping and neurological reprogramming. Loki's handlers had used the same minus the mind wiping.

The conditioning had been by far the hardest part for Bucky to break after DC. The programming needed to be reinstated regularly, using trigger words. This was supported by the chair and the mind wipes. Bucky had put together as much. But the conditioning … he had fought the urge to locate a rendezvous point to be picked up for month. Because if he failed to report in … He couldn’t name what would happen, if not. There were vague memories of searing pain, muscles cramping and the taste of blood in his mouth. He felt the need to curl himself into a ball at the floor at the thought. Which, again, was something that he hadn’t been allowed to do.

During his time on the run he had been on his way to Hydra safe houses several times before coming back to himself and steering clear, always with a sense of doom at the fringes of his conscious mind. Giving into the urges installed into him was easy; resisting was like trying to break his own fingers. It took a lot of resolve and in the end, it seemed pointless, adverse to his own interests.

The Asset was trying to stay safe and safe meant back in Hydra’s many arms. 

Whatever Hydra had done to him, these people had done to Loki in even less time.

Bucky snapped out of his memories, “JARVIS, get the air lock open.”

“I am sorry, Sergeant, Captain Rogers has reset the access protocols.”

Bucky felt his stomach plummet, “I can no longer go in?”

JARVIS replayed Steve's voice saying, “Nobody goes in or out.”

Bucky was silent. They had calculated for restrictions, they even had agreed on them with the team, but it hit him hard right now that he couldn’t reach Loki.

“James, this is not something new to me. I have not thought of this in some time and will not after this discussion has ended.” 

Bucky could see how the lie was meant to comfort them.

Standing up from his chair, Loki added, “And just to remind you, my methods while I was on Earth were my own. Thanos did not ignite my hate, he just fed it and used it against me.”

Tony answered, “I’m sorry I never asked you about this before. I should have known there was more to it.”

The atmosphere between Tony and Loki, that had been loaded with more and more tension, had quieted itself down now. For a moment they both stepped closer to the glass barrier, Tony leaning his head against it and Loki putting a hand up in almost conciliation. Then the moment was over and they both shuffled back.

There had to be something Bucky could do. It was not right, Loki in a cage and he strolling around the tower, he had known that before. But now it was so glaringly obvious. And more importantly he was now aware of how much Loki needed them, needed the three of them being together instead of being locked away, alone at night.

He was already contemplating camping down here for the night, when Loki said, “You two should be going up now. We all need a good night's sleep. You can start your over-protective pestering tomorrow again.”

Bucky noticed a very lost looking Tony waiting for any indication what to do. Something Bucky had not seen since their fight a week ago. He felt bad for bringing it back out again.

They said their good nights and he took Tony upstairs a short time after and they went to bed, after he made sure they cleaned themselves up. He sent a text message to Loki telling him that he should let them know when he needed anything, still feeling guilty about not being down there anymore.

Loki's answer was only 'Take care of Tony' and so he did.

 

Bucky was woken by Tony shivering violently beside him. It was dark in their bedroom, but Bucky could make out Tony's form beneath the sheets, rigid and unnaturally straight. His breathing was choppy and Bucky was worried that the short gulps were too shallow to give Tony enough oxygen.

He carefully laid a hand on Tony's arm. He softly spoke his name, hoping to wake Tony up without startling him, but there was no reaction, just another desperate gasp for air.

Fear started to claw its way up along Bucky's spine. He put his hand on Tony's shoulder and shook him with more force than he intended.

Tony's eyes flew open, and he took a deep breath like coming up for air after a long dive. His eyes searched the room, and as they landed on Bucky, he seemed to relax at least a little bit.

“You’re back with me?” Bucky asked. Tony, blinking slowly, gave the tiniest of nods, the rest of his body held stiff as if he was pinned to the bed.

Bucky told himself to be patient, to give him some more time to come back, feeling weights drop from his shoulders when Tony finally started moving. He sat up, his hands rubbing in short choppy motions along his neck and then his hair.

Bucky hadn’t seen Tony like this before and wasn’t sure what to do. He hoped Tony would be able to tell him what was best for him. “Do you need space or contact?” he tried.

“Just a little more space.” Tony's voice was a low murmur. His hand searched for Bucky anyway and found his knee. He squeezed it shortly before Bucky put his own hand lightly over his. They sat like this for a while, not speaking.

Finally, Tony broke the silence.

“We cannot leave him down there.”

Bucky took a breath in and a breath out, feeling the release of Tony talking wash through him. “Not gonna argue here. But do you want to talk about what is going on with you first? We are not getting him out of there tonight.”

Tony glared at him, and Bucky could more guess than see that he had put on a face of utter determination. “Why not?”

“Because the reasons we do this the long way have not changed. Loki has lived with this a long time, and if anything, it will be better now we know about it.” Bucky tried his hardest to believe his own words. Tony gave no indication of changing his mind about an early morning jailbreak, so he continued, “And he will be very cross if I don’t make sure you are okay first. Do you want to tell me what your dream was about?”

“No.” Tony’s answer was as tense as his posture.

“Do you want to have that contact now?” Bucky felt a bit selfish for asking.

Tony's voice was softer now. “Yes, please.”

Bucky climbed behind him, so that Tony could lay back against his chest, nestled between his legs. There was only the one layer of Tony’s t-shirt separating them, and Bucky hoped the contact and shared warmth was as reassuring to Tony as it was to him.

It took a while, but when Tony started talking, Bucky made sure to not interrupt.

“I don't know what information Steve gave you or what you heard yourself or found on the internet. Most of it is speculation anyway. The official statements contained as few facts as possible. About Afghanistan, about Obadiah. By now I’m mostly okay. With that at least. Pepper made me see a therapist, and it helped. I never told her. Or the therapist. But it made it bearable. Of course, tons of shit happened after that and I dealt with that somehow.” Tony huffed at his own statement with non-humor. “But what Loki told us? I can relate more than anybody should be able to. At least the Ten Rings mostly stopped after I agreed to build them their weapons. It was not so bad.”

That was when Bucky tried to interrupt. But Tony didn’t let him.

“I know that this is not a game of who got the shittiest end of the stick. A game that you might win any day anyway. Sorry, should not joke about that.”

Bucky just kissed his shoulder through the t-shirt in reassurance.

“I just want this shit to be over. As much for him as for me – and for you. Just us three up here and the world and all its fucked up consequences can just stay outside for a while.”

Bucky did not want to burst his bubble, but it would at one point anyway, and he might not be there to hold Tony through it. “You know it never does.”

“Yes, but I get to be naive for just this once. While you have my back.”

Bucky tightened his arms around Tony, his nose buried in Tony's hair. Of course he would have Tony's back; of course he would do his best to be there like Tony needed. Like they both needed. 

Tony’s hand on his forearm gently squeezed in return. "Let's go back to sleep, yeah?"

Later that morning, Bucky felt Tony wake up earlier than normal. He listened as Tony moved about, movements just a tad heavier and slower than usual. 

"I know you're awake," Tony whispered. "I'm going down."

Bucky didn't have to ask where. Instead, he opened his eyes and looked, really looked, at Tony standing there, dressed and ready, eyes tired but insistent. He even put up a smile for Bucky, not fake but the result of Tony fighting his way out of what had plagued him since yesterday. Beautiful and determined. 

Bucky would do anything to stay by this man's side, while he fixed anything and everything the world had broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely readers,  
> I hope you had a good time while I was away, because all you find here is pain :D
> 
> We are back to our regular schedule of updates once a week on Fridays.  
> Enjoy and as always I'm excited to see what you think...


	27. Troubled minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone comes together, nothing gets resolved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks (as always) go to brokenEisenglas for beta.

Bucky woke up in the middle of the night with Tony sleeping peacefully beside him. He couldn’t really be relieved about it as he knew what was about to happen. He could feel it coming on, and with everything that happened over the last few days, it kind of figured. 

He felt unbelievably naive for not expecting it. Had he thought with Tony and Loki and a whole lot of love the Asset would go away? 

Bucky got off the bed. 

He hadn’t told Tony any details on how much the Asset was still a problem. There had just been too much going on. He needed to get out of the apartment now. Tony had already had a rough couple of nights. He sure as hell didn't need to wake up to an assassin staring back at him while wearing his boyfriend’s face.

He needed to go down to the cage. Loki was no stranger to the Asset. Bucky could already feel its reaction to the idea of taking up camp down there with Loki: it liked it, but that was no reason not to do it. Actually, he should go a step further. Get into the cage. With a jolt he remembered that he actually couldn’t. They were locked out. But still he was better off down there than he was up here.

He managed to tell himself Tony would be fine on his own and that JARVIS would tell him where Bucky was when he woke. Then the Asset took over.

-

JARVIS woke Steve about an hour later.

“Captain Rogers, I am sorry to interrupt your nightly rest, but there are issues which need your attention.”

Steve sat up, feeling wide awake. There had been no alarm, but JARVIS would not wake him without good reason. It was likely to be an emergency and the time he needed to get to full alertness could mean the difference between saving and losing people.

“JARVIS, what is going on?” he asked.

“I am enacting safety protocols as I have not had any contact with sir in the last thirty minutes.”

Steve was up on his feet the same moment. “Where did he go?” He got his suit from the closet and was already putting it on.

“He is still in his bedroom. With Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS answered.

Steve stopped pulling on the suit, his head stuck halfway in the top part. He pulled it back off.

“He's in his bedroom. With Bucky,” he recapped.

“Yes, and I have no way of reaching him,” JARVIS answered, faster than usual. Urgent. Worried.

Steve sat back down on the bed. “JARVIS—”

Before he could continue JARVIS rattled on, “Sergeant Barnes has disabled all my sensors, microphones, speakers, cameras and any data connection reaching beyond the front door of the apartment.”

Steve huffed out a laugh.

“I’m unable to maintain my primary function.” JARVIS said, emphasizing every syllable. It seemed to matter a whole lot to him.

“Did you ask Bucky why he did that?” Steve asked. He could imagine; JARVIS permanent presence was something even he was still not used to.

“At first I did not interrupt as I was instructed to give him, as well as all team members, the benefit of the doubt.” The way he said it told Steve that he found the general idea ridiculous. “When I noticed I had no possibility to reach sir, it was too late. He even took his phone. I tried to talk to Sergeant Barnes—”

Steve thought about how to carefully explain to JARVIS what was going on up there. Why did he have to give him The Talk? Tony sure could have bothered with that especially when he was in a new relationship. “JARVIS, Bucky and Tony are very much in love—”

“And then Sergeant Barnes got weapons from the shooting range—”

“What?” Steve barked. He jumped to his feet again.

On his way up to Tony’s apartment JARVIS gave him the details. Bucky had gotten a large number of weapons from the shooting range and brought them to the apartment, before disabling all of JARVIS connections. All in all, it were very strange circumstances. Steve was still sure there was a reasonable explanation for everything, but he would not get back to sleep before he heard it directly from Bucky. Entering the small hallway, that stretched from the elevator to the entrance door of the only apartment on Tony’s floor, he left his shield leaning against a small table with some flowers on it. He was in full uniform anyway, so he brought it with him, but he doubted he would need it. If there was a problem, Bucky would have called him, right? 

Steve knocked on the door.

“Go away!” Bucky’s voice came from the other side. 

"Determining by the distribution of sound I can detect with the microphones out here, he is standing beside the door with his back leaning against the wall.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Steve said, not sure how that information was supposed to be helpful.

Louder he asked, “Bucky, is everything alright with you in there?”

No answer.

JARVIS broke the silence, “It’s been 38 minutes since the last confirmation of vital signs from sir.”

Steve needed to think. 

“I cannot detect any sound of movement in the apartment. 39 minutes.”

Steve couldn’t hear anything as well. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad sign. Or any sign at all. “Bucky, talk to me! Just tell me you’re both okay.” Frustrated he added, “And maybe why you have enough weapons in there to form a militia.”

No answer.

“According to sir’s definitions, an injury ranking at a medium risk level is significantly more likely to be fatal if administration of first aid is delayed by more than 45 minutes.”

Steve saw the manipulation for what it was, but he had no way to confirm that Tony was not injured or hurt. Bucky could be shutting down for all kinds of reasons. Sam had said that trauma might manifest at any point in time. Especially if there was a trigger. What if something had happened and Bucky could not answer because of it? What if Tony needed his help? What if they both needed his help?

He tried the doorknob. Of course the door was locked.

“41 minutes.”

“Bucky?” Steve closed his eyes.

No answer.

Steve took a step back and took a closer look at the door. It was the standard door that all apartments in the tower had. Steve knew it’s weak points, and what did that say about him? 

One well placed kick and the hinges ripped from the door. It took only a second to move the broken door out of the frame and Steve’s way. The door opened directly into Tony’s living room. When he was through, he could see Bucky had moved further into the room. From the hallway JARVIS said, “Sir was in the bedroom when I was decommissioned.” It was surprisingly eerie, hearing him from outside the apartment instead of there in the same room with them.

Steve looked towards the direction of the bedroom door. It was to the right side from the living room at the end of a very short hallway, with only one other door on the left side. Bucky was exactly between Steve and that hallway.

“Will you please talk to me?” Steve said, although he didn’t think Bucky would. He was in full tactical gear, and though Steve could only see one gun and one knife, he knew there were more.

Bucky didn’t say anything, didn’t even move. Steve made one step towards him and finally there was a reaction. He blocked the punch to his gut, side stepping to avoid the next attack. Bucky followed after but only dealing out kicks and jabs that were easy for Steve to avoid. Trying to find an opening, he got hit a few times and that made him absolutely sure: Bucky was pulling his punches. Whatever this was, he was not back to being Hydra’s asset.

But that didn’t change the fact that Bucky was attacking, and Steve still had no clue what had happened to Tony. As much as Bucky did not set out to eliminate Steve, he was effectively driving him away from the bedroom door. Steve again sidestepped the next kick but in the opposite direction so that Bucky’s momentum was directed away from him. In passing, Bucky landed a punch to his gut, but Steve was already on his way to the bedroom door. He saw the knife coming in his peripheral vision and stopped in time to have it sail by in front of his face, instead of being hit by it. The abrupt halt had put him on the wrong foot, so when Bucky swooped in and kicked at his knee, his legs gave out. Bucky caught him, and Steve didn’t really understand what was happening before he was flung out of the apartment door.

He threw a glance back and Bucky took one long glare at him before stepping out of Steve's sight and back into his guarding position by the door.

Steve gave himself another 5 minutes to come up with a better solution, while JARVIS was constantly spewing worrying statistics at him. He couldn’t think of anything. 

“JARVIS, wake up the team.”

Clint and Natasha arrived together, and a minute later, Sam joined them. Steve tried to explain the situation only for Clint to laugh it off. “I don’t talk to the guy for two days and he builds a highly armed blanket fort? Maybe the Buckster is just a bit cranky from waking up too early.” Steve tried to hold him back but Clint was already on his way into the apartment. “Hey, my shiny armed friend, what stupid thing did Steve say this time that you had to kick him out?”

He managed one step past the door, there was a short tumult and then he was thrown out and landed right at Steve’s feet. Wearily he dragged himself back up. “I’m listening. What’s going on?”

-

The inner door of the cage opened, and Loki looked up from his book to see what was going on. 

JARVIS said, “As we discussed, I am relying on your talents to make sure that sir is okay. Please enter the airlock.”

Loki shot up and was in the airlock a moment later. “What does this mean? Where is Tony?” The door behind him closed.

“All information I have indicates that sir is still in his bedroom, but I am unable to confirm his status right now. I trust that you will honor our agreement and guarantee he is well?”

“Yes, yes,” Loki barked, “of course I will, but you have to let me out.” 

What did this mean? JARVIS always had eyes on Tony.

Stepping out on the other side, Loki let his magic reach out for the first time in months. Unhindered by the artifacts that Thor had acquired somewhere, he could feel several troubled minds upstairs. None of them seemed to belong to Tony or Bucky, although Loki couldn’t be sure as he had never had the chance to touch either of them with his magic.

He teleported to the source of the disquiet he had felt, first. The Avengers were standing around a small hallway, discussing some matter with urgency. It took them a moment to notice Loki, which was good as the nine floor teleport had left him dizzy. It was quite a strain after eight months of not using his magic at all. But when the Falcon noticed him and alarmed the rest to his presence, it was easy enough to create enough mirages of himself to slip through their advance and enter the apartment. The door was gone, and Loki was still looking around for the source when James stepped up to him. 

It was easy to see in his demeanor that he was in high alarm, and that his behaviors were that of the side of him he called the Asset. Loki took his hand, and well aware of the fact that they were clearly visible from the outside hallway, leaned closer and whispered into James’ ear, “I will go and look after Tony. You want to stay here?” He got an answer in the form of an almost unnoticeable nod. While James still watched the team outside with undivided attention, Loki kissed his cheek before moving on.

Entering the bedroom, he had to smile at the picture offering itself. Tony was sleeping peacefully, lying on his side and looking quite angelic. Loki let the door stay slightly ajar. He knew that Tony’s bedroom was soundproofed; it was a fact that Tony had mentioned in one of their conversations and that had left Loki with some nice fanatsies. But now he needed to hear anything happening outside, in case James needed support. Regardless, as he stepped closer to the bed, he decided to give himself a moment to enjoy the view.

-

Tony woke to some noise outside of his bedroom and was disoriented for a moment. “Loki, what is going on? What’s that?” Filtering into his sleep-heavy mind were people arguing loudly, but he couldn’t make out the words. Slowly his brain came online. His eyes went to the door and back to Loki.

Loki? 

“What are you doing here?” He looked around. He was still in his own bedroom. His phone was gone from the nightstand and had been replaced by a gun, one of the Glocks 17 that Natasha had insisted on having for the range. He sat up, grabbed it, checked the magazine and looked up flabbergasted at Loki. 

“I guess James left that there, in case someone would get past him,” he answered Tony’s unasked question much too calmly.

“Who would get past him? What’s going on?” The sounds outside progressed to yelling and furniture breaking. Tony jumped out of bed. He halted for another moment as Loki, without even gesticulating, changed from his dark gray slacks and button down into a full leather battle armor and conjured a spear out of thin air. Tony swallowed hard. He allowed himself to find the whole thing unbelievably hot for a second, and then shook his head to concentrate on whatever was going on outside.

Running out the door, he didn’t believe what he was seeing. The team was attacking Bucky and Bucky, in combat gear and with a knife in hand, was fighting back hard. If not for the closed space, he probably would have been in bigger trouble, but as it was, the fight seemed not easily falling to one side or the other.

“Have you all gone fucking nuts?” Tony yelled. He had no idea what was going on, but it was ending now. He went right into the middle of it, where Steve was just blocking a jab and the consequent slash of Bucky’s knife. Seeing him getting closer, Steve turned and tried to reach for him. Bucky answered by letting go of any finesse and just tackling Steve into the next wall with full force. 

Tony was shook. All movement in the room stopped

Tony looked over at Loki for help, who was in a stand-off with Natasha and seemed delighted by the chaos. Bucky was back by Tony’s side in an instant and gave him a once-over. Seemingly satisfied with the result, he held a silent conversation with Loki who proceeded to grab Tony by the forearm. Tony was sure he only kept himself barely from picking him up in a bridal carry. Loki pulled Tony back to the bedroom with Bucky covering their retreat.

-

The door closed behind Tony, Loki, and Bucky, just when Steve was picking himself up from the floor where Bucky had left him. This whole thing was awful in every which way, but Tony was fine from everything Steve had seen. He was still at an absolute loss for what was going on, but there had been no obvious threat to Tony. If anything at all Bucky and Loki had seemed highly protective. Steve ordered the rest of the team back out to the hallway, but lingered a moment longer, unsure. He hated the feeling.

Suddenly the speakers above his head cracked back to life. “I thank you in advance for leaving the bedroom door where it is. Now that I have my phone back, we are all okay in here. We will check in in an hour. Toodles.” And with that the transmission cut off.

Some of Steve’s bad feeling lingered.

-

An hour later, Tony hesitated when Steve insisted on speaking with Bucky.

“Tony, I was almost put through a wall by my best friend. It’s great when you say he is okay, but I need to hear him.”

With all three of them together and the team gone from the apartment, Bucky seemed a bit more balanced. He had been able to explain that the Asset had apparently felt some looming threat, which then had turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Loki nodded, and the way he was talking to Bucky told Tony that this was not the first time he had seen Bucky like this.

Tony muted the line and asked if Bucky would be okay talking to Steve. Bucky gave a short nod as answer, and Tony put the phone on speaker before handing it to him.

“Steve, we are all okay. Just need some time,” Bucky said. the way he was struggling with the words still made Tony bite the inside of his mouth.

“I would like to come up and check on you,” Steve sounded determined.

Loki just groaned. Tony grabbed the phone back.

“Steve, he’s with us. He’s recovering. We’ll keep you in the loop. Whatever you think you’re doing, it’s not helping.” The other end of the line stayed silent for a long time. “Steve, please, this one time. Trust me with this. We need a few hours. Then you get all the explanations you want.” Another long moment of silence.

“You’re sure he’s okay?” 

Steve sounded more unlike himself than Tony had ever heard him. Softer than before he said, “Yes, Steve.”

“I’ll make sure no one accesses your floor.”

“That's good. We’ll check back in an hour.”

-

It took three additional hours before Bucky felt stable enough to face Steve and only Steve, and he insisted that Tony stayed back with Loki.

Bucky waited in the living room. He knew that the way he stayed between Steve and the bedroom door at all times was very obvious, but there was no point in fighting it.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked.

“It's getting better. I assume I’m not going to shake this completely until I get some sleep.”

“You wanna go down to your bed for this?” Steve looked like he knew the answer.

“That is my bed back there. And leaving them up here would accomplish the opposite.” Steve was wrinkling his face in all kinds of ways, which told Bucky that he was struggling with what to think.

“If you are asking yourself if they’re in control of the Asset: no, they are not. That would actually be helpful.” 

Steve answered, “I didn’t think that. If I’m honest, I don’t know what to think. How this all works.” He shook his head.

Bucky sighed. “The conditioning of the Asset was, in its groundwork, very simple. Follow orders to avoid punishment. There is no punishment anymore, so it seems to have reoriented towards rewards.” He gestured at the bedroom with his head. “These two are my reward.”

Steve made a mock disgusted face at him. “Ewww.”

“Not like that, punk.” He thought for a moment and added, “At least not only like that.”

He could feel the Asset settling down further, as he saw Steve's grin. The first Bucky had seen since they had told Steve about the three of them.

He decided to use it. “Do you think you could give us the day if I promise nobody gets stabbed? We can gather the team tomorrow and decide how to proceed then. Tony has actually already recruited a group of specialists to work on the Asset.”

“He can’t make you do that. You know that, right?” Steve looked concerned again.

“Steve, of course not. He doesn’t make me do anything. I asked him to.”

Steve nodded. “Do you need anything else?”

“How about we check in when I wake up and see if we can do dinner?”

“You'll let me be in the same room as Tony, without putting me through a wall?”

“Ah, we'll see,” Bucky said with a teasing smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter several times.  
> I'm dying to know what you think. XD


	28. Enough Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _*peeks around corner nervously*_ Hi everyone. Sorry, if anyone waited for the update. It just didn't work out.  
> This chapter was betaed by brokenEisenglas and QueenMaeve.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.

They were finally together, all three of them up in the penthouse. No more cage and nothing standing between Loki and his lovers. However, one of the high points of Loki’s day, the fight with the team, had been merely a misunderstanding. Well, Loki thought, he needed to concentrate on the positive. 

That was diffusing fast, unfortunately. 

After the the Captain had come up to talk to James, it became clear that neither he nor Tony expected Loki to stay up there with them for long. James had practically asked permission to keep Loki free just a little bit longer.

“We have the rest of the day. Definitely until after we've slept.”

Tony seemed to notice Loki’s irritation with the development. Placing a hand on his arm, he said, "They have to acknowledge now that you are not the threat they – we considered you to be. After the initial misunderstanding there was no attack, nothing. They have to see that." 

It felt like he was begging Loki to believe him. Loki knew that they didn't want him incarcerated again, that they were as satisfied with his release as he was, but they still adhered to their original plan: convince the team that Loki could be trusted and have them agree to releasing him. Again.

Loki took a deep breath, fighting the feeling of wrongness instigated by the situation. It was as successful as trying to contain a raging fire by asking it to behave nicely. The confrontation this morning had felt so right, fighting side by side with James and Tony. It would have been so easy. If James, Tony, and Loki combined their skills, they would easily be victorious over the Avengers. For a moment Loki had indulged in the thought of Thor being there joining his side. Being locked up for such a long time had its ill effects. 

There was nothing to be gained from wishful thinking. Loki needed to face reality and shape it as best he could. He had good reason to. 

James added, “And I asked Steve to come up for dinner later so that we can talk.”

The idea incensed Loki even more, but James looked really hopeful. Tony seemed to consider it for a moment before turning his analyzing gaze to Loki. 

They were trying to make peace with the team and that meant foremost with Rogers. He was the leader of the Avengers and Loki could see that both James and Tony held him in high regard. It was this or breaking James and Tony away from their companions and as tempting as the thought might have been initially, Loki couldn’t ask them to do that. 

Tony still considered the Avengers his team despite how much he might have been complaining about them, and James even considered them friends. And it became clearer that they could be instrumental in supporting Tony and James in ways that Loki could not. Tony had already suggested asking Falcon for help finding specialists who could consult on the Asset. After all, there might be more to them than he initially thought.

And, if that was so, it was in both his lovers’ best interest to not throw these connections away carelessly. Even Loki’s own relationship with Thor had been mended to a degree which resulted in his brother’s continued absence from Midgard to retrieve the wristbands that would allow Loki to move in the tower without the Avengers having to fear his magic. That was what all of them were working towards. Loki would honor their efforts. He could put himself second for once. No matter how much it felt like defeat. And if that strategy needed to have them dine with Rogers, he would even do that.

“That is an excellent idea,” he said.

Tony looked surprised for a second but nodded. He then went back to typing on his phone, sitting in an armchair they had pulled close to the bed. He had been organizing for people to _help_ with the Asset since James had been able to explain what had happened. For him to even get that far, they had had holed up on the bed, where Tony lay either draped over James or otherwise as close as possible. In the first two hours James had insisted on also doing perimeter checks on the apartment. When Loki had wanted to get something from the kitchen it became clear that James' elevated alertness did not only apply to Tony. He stopped Loki before he could leave the bedroom alone, insisting on going with him. 

All these behaviors had quieted down some, but still lingered. James needed to sleep. 

"Go and take a shower," Loki said while he started to make up the bed. When he didn't hear James moving to follow his instruction, Loki turned around to see him standing uncertainly halfway to the bathroom, his eyes solidly on Tony, who didn't seem to notice anything.

“Tony, just go with him already.” Tony seemed startled from his own musings, but smiled at James, reaching a hand out to him and dragging him into the ensuite. 

Loki fussed some more with the bed, reaching out with his magic for Tony and James all the while. Maybe James wasn’t the only one needing reassurance. 

JARVIS was reinstated to listen in but still had no cameras up in the bedroom. A fact that Loki was sure was not because Tony wanted to take care of it later, as he claimed, but because there obviously had been something that the Asset hadn’t liked about it and Tony had wanted to provide it this measure of comfort.

"JARVIS, we will order from La Rocca for tonight. The gnocchi for Tony; James will love the lamb and a little bit of everything else to share.” The gnocchi were Tony’s favorite and the lamb was going to be good for James after the day’s ordeal. Although they were all together for the moment there still lay challenges ahead and a good meal was the least he could organize to prepare his lovers for it.

“Of course, Loki,” JARVIS answered promptly.

It hadn’t been what he had wanted their first dinner up here to be like. It was supposed to be just the three of them. But they were no children and of course all of them had other people in their lives. And if Bucky wished to dine with the Captain, Loki would not deny him that. He wouldn’t deny either of them anything; he couldn’t think of anything he would not give them.

James and Tony both reappeared out of the bathroom with damp hair and small smiles and something around Loki’s heart uncoiled. If playing nice with the Avengers was what brought these smiles about, there was no question about doing it. He had sat in a cell for so many months, what were a few more? At least now he knew why.

They arranged themselves on the bed so that James was in the middle, Tony demonstrated again that there was an alarm should anyone even enter the floor, let alone the apartment, and after some more reassurances in the form of lingering caresses, they all fell asleep.

 

After waking up, James decided that he was indeed feeling well enough for their planned meal. Loki told Tony that he had already made arrangements with JARVIS for having dinner ordered and Tony smiled at him in that provocative way that said Loki was unbelievably predictable. Well, for once he didn’t care.

When JARVIS repeated the order, James added, “We should get more of the lamb because Steve will be all over it.” 

Loki took a moment to mentally prepare for the reality of having Rogers in their space in less than an hour. “We might as well.” 

The tension in the room steadily increased as they waited for their guest to arrive, with Tony not being able to be still for a minute and Loki following him with his eyes. James kept on insisting that it was just dinner, just _Steve_ and no one should get that riled up because of the ‘punk’.

And then Rogers, the bags with food in one hand, knocked on the door frame as the door itself was still lying on the floor. 

James snorted, “You just kicked it out this morning and now you’re knocking?” 

“You tried to take my teeth out this morning and now you're inviting me to dinner.”

James stepped up to hug his friend and then take some of the bags out of his hands. 

“Tony, Loki.” Rogers greeted them each with a nod.

“Steve,” Tony answered.

“Captain,” Loki said.

And there it was already, the first frown of the evening. James seemed to sigh inwardly.

What had the good Captain expected? That they would become friends over dinner and he then would cheerily chat while Rogers brought him back to his cell afterwards? 

But Tony was tensing as well. They had invited the Captain up here. James wished him to be here. And if they ever wanted to live their lives freely, it would most likely be here in this tower, in this city that both James and Tony called their home. The city Loki had attacked not that long ago. 

Perhaps Loki could make the first step towards reconciliation, just this time. He said, “We thought you might like the lamb, but there is plenty of everything.”

The Captain smiled politely. “Thank you, I’m sure it will be delicious.”

They turned towards the table to set things up and James slid gracefully up beside Loki to touch his hand and whisper “Thank you” in his ear. The warmth that filled Loki just from the small gesture was something he would hold on to when things inevitably got rough again.

Tony already had offered Rogers a drink, and James made an obvious attempt at not guarding Tony by pulling the chair next to their guest out for him. 

Both Tony and James easily started a conversation with Rogers, and with a pang Loki noticed that for the second time today he wished that Thor was there too. 

But Thor was gone. Off somewhere to support their efforts in releasing Loki. Slowly, but with the end goal of seeing him freed. The same goal towards which James and Tony were working. They promised they could have it all, if they were just patient and played nice. 

He was willing to do it their way in the end. So placing Tony beside Rogers was a very fine peace offering after the day’s events. Loki sat down by James's side and they started to eat. 

To Loki’s utmost satisfaction, James found the lamb to be delicious. "I'm sure that there is rosemary in there, thyme maybe, but there is something else."

"Well, garlic is obvious," Tony added.

"You obviously will need to try and cook it for the team," the Captain teased. "Tony and I will help you with tasting it, until you get it right."

Tony smiled amicably in response and James tried to look indignant, but broke out in a small laugh instead.

The cheery atmosphere stayed for nearly two seconds more before dropping into an abyss. James squeezed Loki’s leg under the table. Tony caught his eye and said, “We’ll wait until you're there with us.” 

Loki damned himself. He was supposed to be good with words but now he couldn’t find any for the life of him. 

Breaking the uncomfortably long silence, he suggested, “We should keep some of the lamb for the team to taste first. Maybe this could quicken their decision.”

Rogers had done away with the mirth from before, but he wasn’t gruff when he said, “It’s been only a few days. You will need to give them time to adapt.” 

“Them?” James took Loki’s hand from under the table with his own and placed them together between their plates.

“I might be stubborn—” Rogers said.

Tony coughed at ‘might’.

“Okay, I am damn stubborn — but even I can see you three have been taking care of each other. This is what the Asset did today, isn’t it? Made sure that you three were okay and shielding you from us?”

“It’s been twitchy around the team,” James admitted. “And the last days haven’t been relaxing in that way.” The sad, almost apologetic tone he used when talking about the Asset made Loki want to tear someone's limbs off. The Asset was fierce and it was efficient, and although Loki didn’t appreciate the warrior cult he grew up with, he could appreciate skill when he saw it.

Rogers continued, “When I realized this, it hurt. And I can’t deny that he has a point. We weren’t there for you when we should have been by your side.”

“You make it sounds as if the Asset is rational,” James huffed.

“You can’t deny that the Captain makes a good argument.” Loki wasn’t going to let the direction the conversation had taken get derailed.

“However,” Rogers continued, “you can’t deny that there are also good reasons for some people to have concerns about what happened. We’ll need to assure that everybody is on board with how we go forward.”

Tony couldn’t hide his sarcasm. “Clint hates it and wants to see Loki locked up for good. You don’t need to sugarcoat it. Since when are you so enthusiastic about reaching a consensus?”

The Captain’s voice now had more steel in it. “I’m trying to keep this whole thing from blowing up. You can’t believe that this is all how it should be. Your AI used a back door to free Loki, and you expect everyone to just accept that.” 

Of course that was what it would be coming down to. Loki would need to go back to the cage until they decided what to do with him. The whole team together. That could take … there was no way to predict how long it would take. And during that time James and Tony would still feel alienated by their own friends. The topic had just come up and Tony looked ready to start a fight. They didn’t want him to go back there, to be so close but undeniably apart again. 

But even if they managed for Loki to stay free, it would drive them apart from their team. Deepen the divide again. Loki was selfish, no matter how hard he tried to be someone else. He would be the last person to deny that. Maybe that was why he couldn’t see the men he loved hurting themselves over this. Distancing themselves from the support they urgently needed.

Loki knew what he had to do, and he never had shied away from a task no matter how deplorable.

Three pairs of eyes rested on Loki when he spoke. “Steve is right. They have enough reason not to trust me. I need you both to do what’s in your best interest. James, I know you will take care of Tony. Don’t try to get rid of your other half. It keeps an eye out for you. You are too good to beat yourself up about its existence. 

“Tony, I know that people aren’t always easy, but you are bored with easy anyway. You’ll take care of James. I love you both.” 

James was preparing to argue, and Tony was searching his eyes, realization dawning on his face. Rogers was taking in the scene, his face carefully neutral, but not expecting anything that would need his intervention telling from the way his posture was still relaxed.

“Goodbye, my loves.” Loki’s voice was not breaking. He opened the portal to one of his old save havens and closed it behind him before he could look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please scream in the comments. :D
> 
> In other news, I've been working on my fic for the Stuckony discord server gift exchange for the last weeks. So, if you want to know what destroyed all my time planning and like the pairing, you can check it out here: [Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18933754)
> 
> And from here on out posting will be irregular. I'm working on the final chapters, but having a deadline makes me unhappy with everything I put on the page. I want to thank you for all the love you have showed for this story which makes me want to give it the ending it deserves. In the meantime don't hesitate to say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loraneldin) or on Discord.


	29. It’s alright to hold on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony make do on their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the chapter. It is a bit longer as my usual ones; maybe that makes it worth the wait. :)
> 
> You need to know how much different this chapter would look if not for my wonderful betas brokenEisenglas and QueenMaeve. This is so much better then the first draft I threw at them.

Bucky waited. On the evening itself, he was sure that nothing would happen before Steve left, and he was right. Though Steve didn’t stay a lot longer after the initial confusion about what had happened. He gave both Tony and Bucky a long look, apparently decided that they hadn’t planned it and then only asked if they needed anything before he left. There was no doubt in Bucky's mind that he would be updating the team immediately, but they would deal with the consequences after Loki had come back. So, Bucky settled down and waited.

After there was no sign of Loki for several hours, he followed Tony’s verbal nudges, and they went to bed. 

The next morning came and Bucky rolled over, convinced he would be stopped by another body beside him, but it was still just the two of them. Annoyed, he rolled back over and snuggled up to Tony. The smell of sleepy genius made it a bit easier to suffer Loki’s apparent pigheadedness. But he only got five minutes more of peace.

“If we get up now, we can get a proper breakfast in before I need to be in the workshop.” With weariness Bucky noted the uncanny cheeriness in Tony’s voice that was unsettling for the early hour of morning. Additionally, when he’d said ‘proper breakfast’, it turned out he didn’t just mean drinking the coffee in the apartment instead of the workshop, but consuming actual food. Maybe Bucky’s, and recently Loki’s, insistence on regular meals was actually having an effect. Bucky smiled at the notion. He felt the smile getting broader and maybe a little vindictive when he thought about telling Loki about it and refusing to give him any credit as he wasn’t around when it happened.

Bucky followed Tony into the workshop after breakfast. As always, he dropped down on the couch and played on a tablet, while Tony was busily calling people, working on blueprints, instructing JARVIS to start manufacturing this project and that one. What was different from before (besides the sheer number of things Tony seemed to be doing in parallel) was the way that he never fell completely into any project. He hardly went half an hour without coming over, making contact or asking Bucky what he was reading or what he thought of this design or that business proposal. It felt like he was trying to avoid getting too deep into anything.

Before noon, Steve strolled in, smiling like a friendly neighbor coming over for a cup of coffee and a chat. “Hey, you two.” 

“Hi Cap, what brings you here?” Tony asked, equally amiable.

“Not much. I thought I would just check up on you two.”

Bucky couldn’t keep from staring confusedly at Steve for a moment. As much time as he had spent in the workshop, Steve had never just dropped in like this. He had hardly been down here at all. If anything, he only came down looking for Bucky or to ask Tony about something equipment related.

Steve seemed to notice the incredulousness Bucky must have been projecting and started to crack. “I also wanted to ask you if you wanted to join team practice tomorrow.”

This really didn’t help with Bucky’s confusion. “Me? I’m not on the team.”

Steve stepped closer to the two of them, gesticulating awkwardly with both arms. “Actually, I meant the both of you. It would be good for the team to switch things up.”

Bucky didn’t believe one word. Of course Steve saw him joining the team no matter how unlikely that was. But at the same time he wasn’t wrong. It could be good for the team to challenge them with a different skill set. He could play their villain of the week, even if that wasn’t what had been on Steve’s mind. 

Bucky’s eyes wandered over to Tony, who was looking back at him, calmly waiting for his call. Maybe they would even let the two of them team up. “Well, if you need someone to kick your collective asses, we of course will be happy to join you.”

Steve snorted, crossing his arms. “Alright, I’ll see you there. And we’ll see who does the kicking.”

“If you’re done with posturing, I’ll have a few items I need to run by you, Cap.” Tony started to talk about some association work and politicians, drawing Steve over to one of the displays to show him some files. When it was obvious that it was all Avengers business, Bucky quit listening.

Not too long after, Steve left, and Bucky and Tony fell into their rhythm again, Bucky just occasionally checking the clock, noting the hours that were passing without any magical appearances. Tony ordering sandwiches before it was even noon and without being prompted was the weirdest thing that happened until Clint showed up in the afternoon.

“JARVIS, you’re in here?” was the first thing he said when he was through the door.

“Yes, Mr. Barton. How can I help?” JARVIS answered.

“Just checking that no one has disabled you in here and is going to throw me out the door any moment.”

“Today seems not to be one of those days,” JARVIS said in his standard dry tone.

“You two are regular jokers,” Bucky cut in and got off the couch. “Are you also just checking up on us?” He was glad it came out more amused than pissed off. He wasn’t really sure where he fell on the scale right now.

“No, I wanted to get my tan going in here.” Clint didn’t stop, walking past Tony. Asking over his shoulder, “We’re good, Stark?”

“I have a video of Bucky breaking the distance record in bird-brain tossing. I’m good.”

Bucky knew that it wasn’t that easy but the exchange was better than whatever had been happening before yesterday.

“So, you’re up for some gym time?” he asked Bucky when he came to a halt before him.

“How about you explain to me what you all think you’re doing?”

“I thought I was dragging your sorry ass to the gym to show your stupid other side that it got lucky this time.” Clint subtly rolled his shoulders back.

Bucky felt the hairs of his neck raising at the casual referral to the Asset. 

“Yesterday, you weren’t even talking to me.” He worked really hard to not snarl the words.

Tony interrupted, “Hey, I’ll go and be at the apartment, so you two can talk.” He was out the door before Bucky could feel sorry about Tony getting pressured by the two of them to leave his own space.

When he was gone, Bucky’s attention returned to Clint. “So, what changed between yesterday and today?”

“Not so much, actually. I’m still not a fan of your boyfriend – the pale alien one, not the fast-talking genius one. But I had a few days to figure out that you didn’t change. I guess you were kind of already dating the guy when we were hanging out. I would like to think I know the person I spent that time with. And he gets a chance at least.”

“Did that person suddenly wake up not knowing friend from enemy?” Bucky knew that wasn’t what had happened, but it might as well have been.

“He certainly got off on the wrong foot. But it turned out okay.”

“You are all so very quick to dismiss the Asset problem.” Bucky shook his head with a grin that didn’t feel like one. “But isn’t that why you’re here? And Steve before you? Because you think Loki skipping out like this makes me unstable?”

“Hey, being walked-out on like this, isn’t easy. We just want to be here for you.” Clint looked like the topic was right out of his comfort zone already.

“You’re talking like he left forever.” Bucky rolled his eyes at the way they were all overreacting.

Clint just looked at him, pressing his lips together.

“You really think he is not coming back,” Bucky huffed out in disbelief.

“Based on Thor’s stories, we should probably be glad he didn’t fake his own death this time.”

“I’ll tell you what.” Bucky took a deep breath and tried to continue with some measure of restraint. He wasn’t pissed at Clint after all. “Loki is an idiot, as he proved by leaving like he did yesterday. But he is our idiot and he is coming back. Just a matter of time.”

Clint seemed to consider his next words for a while, which in itself was a notable occasion. Finally he said, “Does Tony think so, too?”

“Of course.” The words left Bucky’s mouth without any hesitation. But then he started to think of the way that Tony had acted today. Caring as always, but also making sure that Bucky was alright, like he had reason to not be.

Clint looked much too aware but Bucky had no resources to divert him from what was obviously on his mind. “Let’s go to the gym tomorrow. I need to talk to Tony.”

Bucky made the way back up to the apartment in record time, not taking the elevator but the stairs and managing not to think much of anything. Tony was right where he said he would be. He had set up the table, which meant that food was probably on it’s way. Which was the third meal today for which he had not needed any reminders. He‘d also taken a shower, judging by the sweats he was now dressed in, and was sitting on the couch absorbed in his work.

“Do you think that Loki is coming back?” Bucky asked as soon as Tony looked up to see him strut in.

“What?” Tony asked, furrowing his brow.

“Do you think Loki will come back to us or do you think that he really meant it as goodbye?” Bucky asked getting impatient.

Tony’s look grew darker. “Why would he come back?”

“Because we’re waiting for him!” Bucky couldn’t believe his ears. Unable to stand still, he paced to the window and back.

“As is his cage,” Tony answered, calmly, as if it was a logical argument.

“He will come back.” It was so obvious to Bucky, he was bewildered that he had to say it.

“I hope so, too,” Tony said and Bucky could see the truth and the lie, “but for the moment there is nothing we can do either way but wait.”

Bucky sat down at the arm of the couch. “He will think that leaving was the right thing to do for some stupid reason. Then, he will notice how much harder it is than he thought.” Bucky dug his flesh-fingers into the upholstery while he looked at Tony unwaveringly. “At the same time he will realize what it’s doing to us. Then, he will start to wager what it means to come back and how much it will cost him and he will talk himself out of it.” He hoped it was clear that this was not wishful thinking but the way it would happen. “He, then, will wrangle his stupid ego for a while, and then, he will come up with a reason why it is the right thing to come back no matter the reason. And then, he will pop in here as if it had always been his plan.”

Tony looked at him, mouth gaping.

Bucky added drily, “I just thought we would have reached that point by now. Sure is taking his time.”

JARVIS announcing the arrival of their food startled Tony into closing his mouth again and Bucky took his hand, pulling him to his feet.

They unpacked it in silence. When they sat down Tony said, “I hope you are right, but we can’t just sit around and wait for him.”

Bucky tried to catch Tony’s eyes. He finally made it and grasped Tony’s hand for emphasis. “And we won’t. Even if he is gone, we’re still here.” Bucky wouldn’t let Tony suffer for Loki’s mistakes. “I love you.”

Tony’s eyes widened and he got up to walk up to Bucky and embrace him, while Bucky stayed seated. After a moment he pulled Bucky’s head away from his chest where he had pressed it. “I love you too. I love the both of you. Individually and together.”

Bucky managed a small smile and nodded. “Let’s eat. And then we go on with our lives, so Loki has something to properly regret when he comes back.”

Tony huffed a laugh in a way that told Bucky that he still didn’t believe that day would come. But Bucky believed it enough for the both of them.

A change of topic was in order so after they had started digging into their sushi, Bucky asked, "How is the arm coming along?" It was one of Tony's favorite topics and Bucky had seen him pull up the blueprints for the most recent design. The last two had apparently had too many issues in simulations that JARVIS had run.

As expected, Tony's face lit up. "I managed to take off another pound by changing the anchoring, but the self-diagnosis software is giving me a headache." 

The topic carried them all through the main course. During dessert, they changed to discussing tactics to properly demolish Steve and the team during practise the next day.

When they finished with dinner, Tony volunteered to quit working for the evening and they went to relax on the couch. They had almost settled, and Bucky was about to pull Tony over to rest against him when a dull thud sounded and a case appeared on the coffee table. It was made of dark wood with fine stone inlays curling in an intricate pattern.

They looked at each other and then back on the box. Bucky moved first, lifting it onto his lap and opening the two small latches. Inside was a set of four daggers that were not only extremely beautiful and delicate-looking but, when Bucky picked one up, were also perfectly balanced and lay in his hands as if made for him.

“See?” he asked with a mix of satisfaction and exasperation.

“You think it means he is coming back?” Tony asked back, his obvious hopelessness apparently warring with his desire to validate Bucky’s conviction. 

“Yes, he is hoping we’ll be less pissed at him because of that sign … present or whatever.”

Tony didn’t answer, while Bucky was passing the blade from flesh to metal hand and back. After a moment he put it back into the box, closed it and set it back on the table.

“No matter,” he said. “He will regret that he left us like this.” With that he scooped Tony up in his arms, who reacted with an undignified squawk.

Bucky started in the direction of their bedroom. They hadn’t had sex since the day they had been locked out of the cage. If Bucky’d had plans for after the dinner with Steve, Loki had ruined that thoroughly. And he didn’t earn any positive consideration by disappearing like that.

In his arms, Tony seemed to slowly recover from being manhandled and, catching Bucky’s drift, said, “You’re sure about this?”

“Why, do you want to wait for him? When you still think he is not coming back?” Bucky saw Tony flinch at his words, and he kissed his forehead. “Sorry for being blunt, doll, but you said we are not putting our lives on halt because he needs to prove something.”

They had reached the bed where Bucky carefully put Tony down, sitting down beside him. Tony nodded at his words. 

“If you need time, I’ll wait, but this is me going on with our lives,” Bucky explained.

Tony bit his lip, obviously still struggling with his feelings.

“Besides,” Bucky added, lowering his voice and noticing how Tony started to go unnaturally still. “I’m really looking forward to telling him about all the things I did to you that he missed out on because he decided on being stupid.”

Tony swallowed visibly. “Like?”

Bucky laughed. It was as much encouragement as he needed. He straddled Tony’s lap so he had to lean back to not fall over completely. “Why don’t I show you?” Tony went easily along as Bucky pulled his t-shirt over his head. For a moment he felt reminded of the moment weeks ago when he had pulled off Tony’s shirt down in the workshop, and he had looked up at Bucky with the same heated gaze. Back then, it had ended with Bucky storming out after Tony had retracted and acted as if they did something wrong. This time Bucky was sure that wasn’t going to happen. 

“I’ll take my time and put my fingers and my mouth wherever I want. So, I can tell him what that feels like when he comes back.” Tony gasped. “And about the noises you made when I did.”

He stretched his hands over Tony’s abs, spanning down to his hips, now clad in the sweats Tony had thrown on after his shower. Bucky slightly pushed his fingers into the thin layer of softness covering the muscles there, testing, teasing. Tony’s arms trembled almost unnoticeably. Of course he wouldn’t say a word when things got uncomfortable, he’d rather try to keep still and take it.

“Why don’t you lay back and let me have you?” Bucky said. He had seen enough of how Loki talked to Tony during sex to know what the reaction would be.

Tony let himself relax back with a sigh, tension seemingly seeping out of him. Bucky’s hand skimmed down to the waistband, slowly pulling it away from his body. He kept his eyes on Tony’s face and his returning gaze was roaming Bucky’s face as if unsure about what was going to happen, although Bucky had already told him. Maybe he hadn’t been clear enough, or Tony just didn’t believe that it would be that simple.

Bucky pulled the rest of Tony’s clothes off in one go until he was sprawled all naked, delicious and beautiful in front of him. For a moment, he could only marvel over the picture. Somehow there hadn’t been the opportunity to enjoy taking his time like that. As much as he was sore about the reason for having Tony all to himself, he couldn’t deny that he reveled in the fact itself.

Tony still had his eyes focused on Bucky’s face and there was a small trace of doubt left. 

Bucky tried with, “The view from here is amazing.”

Tony indulged him with a smile but apparently that had not been the issue. Bucky put first one knee on the bed then his metal arm, followed by the rest of his body, slowly crawling over Tony’s extended form.

“You know, I wanted you before I even met him. That hasn’t changed. He is the biggest idiot there is, and I won’t shut up about that as soon as he is back, but for now I’m going to enjoy having you all to myself.” Before Tony could even attempt an answer Bucky leaned down and sealed his mouth with a kiss. He let his metal arm roam Tony’s body, laughing when the expected gasps happened: when he skimmed over Tony’s hip, when he brushed his nipple, when he pressed against that spot on the side of his neck. The gasps turned into heavy breathing when he let his mouth join the exploring. Having Tony writhing from pleasure was part of the goal, as Bucky wanted to know that Tony enjoyed what they– what _he_ did to him. But this was also for Bucky. He loved the feeling of Tony below his hands and his lips. The way his flesh gave in when he pressed into his pectoral, the taste of the skin on his biceps, the way Bucky just couldn’t quite get his teeth on the flesh of his abdomen. And that was before Bucky had made his way past Tony’s navel. He let his hand follow the fine line of black hair down while biting the flesh just shy of the hip when Tony moaned and almost jackknifed up.

“That good, baby?” Bucky asked.

“I…” Tony started.

“Yes?” Bucky held his movement southward to nip at Tony’s hip proper.

“Please,” seemed to be the only word that Tony was remembering right now.

“I got you,” Bucky answered and wrapped his flesh hand around Tony’s cock. The rush of air leaving Tony’s body told Bucky that he had not expected for it to be that easy. “You deserve to get everything you want, sweet thing.” He again kissed Tony’s hip while moving his hand lightly over his cock, careful about not being to rough as there was nothing to ease the friction yet. “And it is my pleasure to give it to you.”

With that he added his mouth to his hand in working Tony’s dick. A cry left Tony’s body and searching hands buried into Bucky’s hair, unsure whether to pat or grab or do something else entirely. Bucky lifted his mouth off Tony’s length only long enough to say. “It’s alright to hold on.” He sank back down and Tony’s hands carefully cradled his head between them. 

Bucky lost himself in sucking and working Tony’s cock with his hand, now spit-slick. The heavy weight on his tongue, the slightly salty taste of Tony; it was amazing in itself but the way Tony was enjoying it made it all the better; rolling moans whenever Bucky went especially deep, a litany of smaller sighs when he kept it light and only twisted his hand that much, senseless babbling when Bucky used his metal hand to caress his balls. He was in no hurry and nothing coming from Tony could be interpreted as a complaint. The feeling of having him that way was glorious; letting Bucky take him out of his head like this, nothing to be seen of his ever restless energy, just submitting to whatever Bucky wanted to do to him, for however long he decided to do it.

The metal hand slipped of Tony’s balls and massaged its way along Tony’s perineum. The sounds flowing from Tony’s mouth converted into gasps of surprise as if the change was unthinkable, even though Bucky had had his hand there several times in the last week. “You’re so good, sugar,” Bucky praised, having pulled off Tony’s cock. “And you are going to tell me if anything doesn’t feel nice, right?”

Tony barely managed to articulate a cry of “Bucky” before going back to a stream of sounds that conveyed pleasure but not much more. That was good enough for Bucky.

Slowly, Bucky descended, nose and mouth pressed into the crease of Tony’s hip, kissing the way downwards to a background of pants and moans. Finally, he reached Tony’s perineum, holding his balls again in his metal hand and starting to mouth at the skin there with fervor. He loved the taste and he loved the smell and he couldn’t get enough of it; couldn't get enough of Tony. And there was no way he wasn't going to tell Tony exactly that. There was a whine when he pulled away.

“Doll, your smell is amazing.” 

Tony seemed to choke on his own moan when he realized what Bucky was complimenting.

“Yeah, sweet stuff, everything about you is perfect, even how you smell behind your balls, I bet you smell nice everywhere. And taste delicious too.”

Tony just kept on panting and when Bucky dived in, again licking, kissing and mouthing at his sack and then his perineum, slowly but surely making his way downwards, his moans became more urgent and almost frantic. Bucky’s own erection was rubbing against the mattress when he had to reposition himself and while it made all his nerve endings light up, he really enjoyed what he was doing too much to care about it further.

He moved both his hands under each of Tony’s thighs, gently pushing them up and encouraging Tony to spread himself. He didn’t move his mouth further down for a moment, but it had to be clear to Tony what was about to happen. When there were no dissonant sounds to be heard, Bucky moved in, slowly, as he planned to savor this as he had everything else.

The skin between Tony’s cheeks was as tender as it was behind his balls but partly covered in well groomed hair. Bucky knew that already but he’d never had the opportunity of marvelling at it from up close like now. As much as he was doing the same things, licking and kissing and biting at Tony’s flesh, doing it here, at this last, hidden part of Tony, was not the same. Tony seemed so much more sensitive here too, reacting to every little bit with almost overwhelmed gasps.

Bucky covered the crease between as well as the slope of cheeks to either side, keeping Tony open with his hands. His thumbs were rubbing small circles at the firm muscles of his thighs. Having finally tasted everything else, he descended on to the crease of Tony’s hole. The first contact of tongue to muscle was marked by Tony letting out a wail, so Bucky repeated the lick, only to feel Tony’s hands in his hair again. For a moment, he was afraid that Tony didn’t like it after all, but then he finally managed to make out words in the noise that Tony was producing.

“...don’t have to...” filtered down to Bucky’s ears.

“Oh doll. I definitely have to. Mostly because it is amazing, but also so I can tell Loki all about how I had you open and screaming from something he hasn’t had the opportunity to do to you before walking out like that.”

Bucky again pressed his tongue against Tony’s opening and all the response Tony could muster was “ungh.”

Retreating only far enough to be able to speak, Bucky asked, “You are not telling me that you don’t like it.”

“Amazing” was the only word that made any sense out of the next bunch of garble that tumbled out of Tony’s mouth. Bucky smiled to himself, licked his lips, then went to town.

He mapped even the smallest crease, every bit of Tony, noting how he slowly relaxed, how his moaning ebbed up and down, how a little bit of teeth seemed to drive him mad and a variation in pressure could actually make him speechless for just a second. Bucky was learning all of that, feeling like discovering a new world. When he slightly sucked at skin, Tony’s legs started trembling and when he finally pushed his tongue past the first ring of muscles, all of Tony shook with the sensation.

Bucky didn’t want it to end but he didn’t want to wreck Tony either. He placed a hand on Tony’s cock and only stopped to say, “Come whenever you are ready, doll.”

It took no time at all for Tony to reach the point where he was trying to rut up into Bucky’s hand at the same time as trying to rock himself down on his tongue, and when Bucky clamped his metal hand down on Tony’s hip he came, in white spurts over both Bucky’s hands and over his own abdomen. Bucky kept on jerking him off and rimming him until the wild moans became pleas for him to stop.

He crawled back up to lay alongside Tony and wrapped him in both his arms, expecting that we would need a while to come back down. But reality seemed to trickle back in far too fast and soon Tony said, “You seem very sure that he is coming back.”

“He is an idiot, but he isn’t that stupid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise smut! As in it was a surprise to the author that it happened XD
> 
> If you were surprised too, leave a comment. If not, tell me why in the comments! ;)  
> Kidding aside, I love to hear from you.


	30. Keeping An Eye on That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the thanks again go to brokenEisenglas and QueenMaeve for beta.

Sitting in his office, Tony opened the large envelopes from his lawyers that had arrived at the front desk of the tower just minutes ago. Stephanie knew he was personally waiting for them and had lost no time in sending them up. They contained copies of the signed NDAs from the neurosurgeon and the psychiatrist that would consult on Bucky’s arm and the residual programming, respectively. It were the last two in the team of specialists Tony had enlisted. None of them had any idea yet what exactly they would be consulting on, but that was about to change. With all the prerequisites covered, they could get everyone here within a week. In Tony’s experience, scheduling conflicts were resolved easily enough with a down-payment. At least, if the down-payment had enough zeroes.

Tony put them in the shredder. JARVIS’ scans were all he needed as long as nobody breached contract; the physical copies were kept at the lawyer’s if ever needed as evidence in a court of law, which would never happen. Tony had made sure of that, not only by having his lawyers put ridiculous amounts for liquidated damages in the contracts but also by the extensive background checks JARVIS had done. These were not just experts but also trustworthy people. He wouldn’t let anyone else near Bucky.

Tony could close the topic for tonight. He called up the latest proposals from R&D up next. 

Bucky was doing well in the meantime. His optimism was unbroken for sure. He still insisted that Loki might pop up any second and grovel for the mistake of leaving. Tony loved Bucky’s conviction that he knew Loki well enough to predict that. He was angry, but he was so god damn positive about it. And he saw every little thing as a confirmation. Presents kept appearing spontaneously in the apartment which Bucky interpreted as Loki trying to keep on their good side.

Tony knew them for what they were: goodbyes. Tools to prepare them for a future without Loki and things to remember him by. Because Loki would leave them behind but make sure as hell that they couldn’t forget what they’d had.

Tony couldn’t afford being naive. Deciding between his freedom and his lovers, between his freedom and Tony, there was no doubt what Loki would chose and Tony didn’t get to be upset about it. He had known that all along.

After the initial set of daggers that had obviously been for Bucky, there had been a set of finely crafted stone carvings in a velvet lined box (Tony assumed they were for him to complement similar pieces he had arranged on a ledge near the window), a box holding a set of quills and fountain pens, an ancient looking chessboard with rather unusual figures, some books that they weren’t able to read, and several things more. Plenty for which the use eluded Tony; bottles with colorful liquids, medallions, even some books that Tony was sure were about other alien cultures. 

Yesterday, there had been one piece that stood out; a battered book with letters embossed in gold once, now only possible to read when tilted against the light — ‘The Fruits of Yggdrasil - Collected Stories from The Nine Realms’. Surprisingly, it was written in English. Tony assumed it was Loki’s tit for tat for making him read all those fairy-tales back in the beginning.

When they had showed it to Thor and asked about the language, he had gone silent for a minute before taking the book and flipping through it as if the pages could tell him where Loki was. He had searched each page, his eyes flickering with different emotions, but finally he had closed it and carefully pushed it back in Bucky’s hands.

“Allspeak can also be used on books if the author knows how. As the book was meant to be read in all the realms, it was created accordingly.”

When Thor had spoken, it had been as though each word had another meaning beneath it; the thoughts chasing each other through the expressions on his face. It was something Tony didn’t see often on him; Thor used to live in the present more than anyone else he knew, but when he got distracted like this, Loki was usually the cause.

Apparently noticing the same, Bucky had asked, “Is there something special about the book?”

“It’s meant to connect the realms through their stories. You should find one or two of Midgard in there too. It was an attempt to sew them closer together by learning about each other.”

Something had told Tony that he was again hearing the echo of Frigga’s words. Was the book a promise from Loki to not attack Earth again, even if he had ended their relationship?

Tony pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, before pulling himself out of his musings and back to his work. He selected the proposals promising the best time to market, and additionally, one that was pretty daring but could prove disruptive to a large part of the communications industry. It was so interesting, that he might need to keep an eye on that, personally. And on the researcher who had made the suggestion.

Thinking about keeping an eye on that, JARVIS had compiled another list for him to review: all first class therapists. Well, he had first class problems so there might be a fit.

He had already opened his mouth to ask JARVIS for the list as his office door opened and Bucky stuck his head in, half grinning, half disapprovingly glaring. “JARVIS just reminded _me_ to have dinner. I guess that means you are not coming up any time soon?”

“I’m sorry, babe, but today is kicking my ass. I promise I won’t make it a habit to leave you alone, but today it was that or… No, actually there was no ‘or’.”

Bucky walked around the desk and squatted down, putting his hand on Tony’s knees and looking up at him. “You know you can always ask me to come down to the workshop or here when you want company. Because I assume you did not forgo dinner altogether, right?” The question came out appropriately threatening.

“I had sandwiches.” 

Bucky’s eyes said that he knew that it was leftovers from lunch, but that he was gracious enough to let it go for the moment.

“And you don’t need to explain yourself to me or promise me to be home every night by six. I only worried a little after I didn’t see you all day.”

Worrying Bucky was the last thing Tony wanted to do. Time for a distraction.

“I got everything in place to start working on the arm … and the Asset. You just need to say the word.”

Bucky visibly braced himself. His eyes wandered a little to the left of Tony’s head just for a moment before he nodded decisively. “When can they start?”

“Three days.” He would just need to triple their paychecks.

A knock sounded on the door and Tony wondered why his office was suddenly so busy when he had only started to use it again two weeks ago. One could say, two weeks since his life was back on track again. He always had known that his time with Loki had been a fluke. He was never going to stay.

Natasha opened the door wide. “Am I interrupting something?”

“How I wish you were,” Tony answered while gesturing for her to come in. Bucky pushed himself to his feet.

She completely ignored the line, closing the door behind her. She only walked a short distance and stood in the middle of the room. “There is some information, which was brought to my attention. I cannot say how trustworthy the sources are. I haven’t told Steve about this and you will not make me regret that decision.”

She pretty much ignored Bucky and looked straight at Tony. Well, that was an issue to fix at another time.

“I guess it concerns Loki?”

“Not directly. A couple of old Hydra hideouts have gone up in smoke. Completely razed. Without anyone noticing anything going in or out. As if somebody appeared out of thin air, settled some kind of score and disappeared again.”

Bucky asked, “Hydra bases being eradicated?” his voice only betraying his interest in the facts. Tony’s heart was beating a hundred miles per hour already and he could only assume that Bucky was feeling something similar.

“Yes, by a ghost as it seems.” 

“Ghost,” Tony huffed. He felt Bucky’s eyes settling on him. “Were they occupied?”

“Some. Whoever is doing this is very thorough. There is nothing left of any tech, data, or living thing when he is done.” Natasha’s poker face was a kindness. She could have played on their emotions with this and Tony wouldn’t have the barriers to not fall for it. He had enough trouble to not fall apart as it was.

Bucky turned back to Natasha. “What do you expect us to do with this information?”

“Do what you want. You know what he is up to and we have some untouched Hydra bases still on file. You will figure it out.”

Tony could not leave it at that. “Why are you so forthcoming with this, now?”

Natasha shrugged and turned to go. “You three tend to be less of a problem when you are together than when you are apart.” And with that she was gone.

They were silent for a while. Finally Bucky spoke, “You still think he has forgotten about us?”

“I never said he forgot.” And he had only thought to himself that the price for coming back was too high.

“Maybe, he needs a reminder.” Bucky said, sounding as petulant as before when the talk came to Loki. He was still caught between denial and anger. 

“I’ll put surveillance on the Hydra bases on file.” How could he not? Afterall, he just couldn’t let it be, weak as he was.

“I don’t think we will need to find him because he won’t come back to us,” Bucky explained. “I’m just afraid he might run into someone who is prepared for him. Hydra had branches that were dealing in magic.”

Tony wondered if he should ask what else Hydra had been experimenting with, but it had been quite enough for one evening for the both of them. And he still had a few things to do.

“I will be down here for a few more hours. I promise I will come up to sleep, but you probably shouldn’t wait up.” 

Bucky gave him a long estimating stare, obviously not happy. “Alright, but tomorrow, no alarm clock. And, we have breakfast together.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Barnes.” He gave Bucky a small leer.

“It’s worth it.” Bucky grinned back.

When Bucky had left after only a few kisses to say good night, Tony instructed JARVIS to monitor surveillance for Hydra bases that were in occupied areas. He would need to come up with something else for the remote ones. He told JARVIS to remind him of that before the next session at the workshop, and after that, he asked what Steve was doing.

“The Captain is currently reading, sir.”

“Would you please ask him to come down here?”

A moment went by before JARVIS said, “He is on his way.”

While he waited, Tony spent some time looking for something else online. It was just a loose idea, after what Natasha had said. Tony wasn’t even sure what to look for. He scrolled through some international news outlets for unusual disappearances or murders. He should ask JARVIS to set up a proper search. They might have to do it by brute force. Then again he was probably delusional. Loki was making sure that Bucky was safe. Tony could look after himself.

Steve knocked and Tony wondered if he should just install a sliding door for his office. It wasn’t as if JARVIS would let him be surprised by anyone. “Come in.”

“Hey, Tony, working late?”

“Just getting a few things set in motion. The world waits for no one.” Tony really tried to not use too much of his press smile but one that looked more genuine. “JARVIS said you were reading? Something interesting?”

“Tony, I really appreciate your attempt at being polite, but you didn’t ask me up here to learn my literary preferences. What’s going on?” 

It wasn’t a gruff rebuttal. It was even cordial in a no-nonsense way. Tony took it with a smile and this time he even felt it.

“You remember the talk show disaster after you all moved in here?” Tony was glad when Steve’s face didn’t go right to disapproval but went for an exhausted look instead.

“It’s not really something you forget,” he said.

“Yes, I know,” Tony tried to steer clear of heading into the same discussion again. “I really should have asked first. And I did take it easy with the PR since then. Kept you all out of the spotlight.”

“Kept us…?” Steve’s face gave formidable performance of imitating a question mark.

“As far as possible. You try to tame the gossip outlets, I dare you. But I tried,” Tony said.

Steve still looked like he lost the thread somewhere.

Tony had to move forward somehow. Steve needed to hear what he was suggesting before he stormed out. “But we have a chance here. It’s not a media thing directly, but after the fall of SHIELD there have been a lot of questions about the Avengers as an organization and we would be well advised to get a foot in the door at Washington and Senator Alvarez is having a dinner party next weekend…”

“Who does he want to attend?” There was no disapproval on Steve’s face. Tony counted that as a win.

“You and me. And he promised that they are decent people. You won’t need that ‘shaming the powerful for the good of the people’ face.”

“And you think that will give us an in, to do what we need to do and not put us in an awkward position?” Steve was still surprisingly calm.

“Yes,” Tony didn’t say that there would be expected some more from himself. Steve was asking about the Avengers.

“Then it’s a yes.”

Tony bewilderedly asked, “That easy?”

Steve laughed softly and shook his head. “When you went out back then and announced a decision we hadn’t even made, that threw a stick into the gears of something I wouldn’t have even called a team yet. But you recognized that it was wrong and have apparently vowed to do better since then. Even if we all didn’t notice and certainly did not appreciate it.

“I know that we need to glad-hand from time to time and be smart about our media presence. I’m ancient but not stupid. And if you say that’s the way to do it, I trust you,” Steve concluded.

Tony wasn’t sure if he should say anything lest he break the spell. But he was still Tony Stark after all. “Could I get that in writing?”

Steve actually grinned and stood up. “Just let me know when to be ready and what to wear. I promise to bring my USO smile.”

After he had left, Tony had to refocus for a moment. This day was really full of surprises. Hopefully they would keep on being mostly positive ones. He had one last call to make before he could go over Pepper’s acquisition proposals.

“Good evening, senator. I hope I’m not keeping you from your well deserved dinner?”

Senator Alvarez answered with some pleasantries of his own. He was actually surprisingly enjoyable to deal with, but of course he wasn’t helping them just out of the goodness of his heart. They were lucky that he obviously saw the Avengers as a positive force. However, he had also some idea what Tony was after and he had no quarrels to ask for equally priced favors in return.

“I’m happy to say that Captain America is very much looking forward to dinner next Saturday,” Tony put his wares on the table.

The reply sounded genuinely a bit giddy, but Tony understood and if Steve was on his best behavior he might actually make a charming guest.

After the senator had expressed his joy and they had gone over some details, Tony asked for the implicitly held out requital, “Coming back to what you said about the Attorney General. He is having a barbecue for selected members of the public at the end of the month?” 

At least Tony still knew how to play this game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad about everyone who is reading this fic. I hope you have a good time still and see you in a bit for the next installment of 'Where the heck is Loki?'


	31. An Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is still gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to QueenMaeve and brokenEisenglas for beta and support.  
> Thank you to Serinah for last minute help with editing and telling me that everything is going to be fine.

Bucky had managed to coax Tony up for lunch and some extended cuddling after, but only because Bucky wouldn’t see him until bedtime tonight and maybe not even then.

“And there is no one else that can do the meeting and greeting and sucking up to people?” he complained.

Tony removed himself from Bucky’s arms and turned around. The lines around his eyes told Bucky that he was taking it the wrong way. “If you need me to stay, I’ll postpone. None of it is that important.”

Bucky knew that Tony meant _‘as important as you’_ , although he somehow never said something so explicit; he just moved heaven and earth to give Bucky whatever he might need.

“I didn’t mean that you should stop everything you are doing to hold my hand,” Bucky corrected his notion gently, “but you are doing a lot lately and…”

“You are worried. I get it.” The lines on Tony’s face had gone soft now that he wasn't concerned about neglecting Bucky.

He had probably said it too often lately, but for the first time since he came to the tower Bucky saw the full expanse of what Tony did, and it was mind boggling. Not just because it was a foreign world to Bucky – everything was after shaking Hydra’s control, so he was used to that feeling – but also the amount and breadth of things that Tony was handling were not something that should be humanly possible. For this reason, Bucky worried.

He was almost certain that it hadn’t been this much before Loki had left, before they had gotten together, before that first night in the cage. (It had all happened so terribly fast, looking back. They had lived now for six weeks without Loki. It had only been six days of them together. Something had shifted at some point and Tony was somehow not only in the workshop at nearly all hours of the day, but also in his office and out of the tower on meetings several days a week.

Change was good. It was a necessary part of moving forward and that was important. But there was that feeling niggling at the edge of Bucky’s gut that this wasn’t all forward motion.

Trying to put things into perspective, Bucky said, “You get to worry about me and I get to worry about you. That’s the deal. So, does it have to be you who goes to that thing today?”

“Yes, it has to be Tony Stark, live and in color.” The smile on Tony’s face was a mixture of laughter and curious wonderment that Bucky always felt the need to kiss away into certainty. It looked like Tony just couldn’t believe that anyone would care.

With a sigh, he leaned back and pulled Tony’s head down to its resting place on his chest. If he started kissing him now, neither of them would go anywhere today.

 

Bucky made his way to his therapy session half an hour later and the unpleasant feeling in his stomach that just had been a pull twisted into full on knots. 

He didn’t like his therapist. She was nice enough and Tony kept telling him she was the best at what she did, as were the rest of the people Bucky was seeing now every other day. The neurosurgeon and the other guy who was also a neuro-something were simple enough to handle. Get poked, tell them if it hurts, tingles, or numbs anything, and if yes, how much. But the people supposed to be dealing with the Asset were more focused on what Bucky was thinking about it than actually dealing with it. The worst about it all was that he had started dreading those stupid session so much that it actually led to the Asset being more present than ever. Bucky was tired of asking himself if any given decision was his own, if he was slowly losing the grip on everything that he fought so hard to get back.

He shook his head and readied himself to open the door. He had asked for Tony’s help with this and this was what he had been given and now he would go through with it. ( _Comply with it_ a voice in his head suggested. He squashed it down immediately.) He wouldn’t let it slip. If they managed to install the new arm and the deprogramming still wasn’t going anywhere he would talk to Tony, but he needed to at least try. He checked the exit routes one more time and entered the office.

 

The session was over and Bucky felt completely drained. The highlight had been when the therapist asked if there was a possibility to communicate with the Asset. Bucky hadn't been able to say anything in response for minutes. What? Did she want to invite it for coffee? She had sat there with a little inquisitive smile on her face, promising infinite patience, until he had managed a 'no' through clenched teeth. Unphased, she had just nodded and started to talk about something else. Bucky had answered everything curtly when he was able to find actual words. 

Now he was standing in the lift, leaning his head against the cold metal and trying to come up with the will to ask JARVIS to go back to their apartment. When it became too ridiculous, he gave up and said, “54.” And JARVIS obliged without saying a word.

Bucky thought for a moment about sitting down on the couch in the anteroom but he didn’t want to look at the empty cage any longer than absolutely necessary. JARVIS opened the airlock on both sides when Bucky asked and still didn’t say a word. Bucky would have been grateful if he didn’t also have to ask him to close it again when he had settled in the chair. 

Finally, Bucky didn’t have to say anything more. He pushed his head into the backrest, closed his eyes and idly spun around in slow circles. It was quiet here, calm, a soothingly cool wrap for all his senses. He felt like the droning of everything went on for a while longer, his thoughts still chasing each other, bits and pieces of conversations replaying; an echo of everything that had happened today and in the last weeks.

In slow motion, it all died down and Bucky breathed a little easier.

What didn’t leave him was the question of what he was doing here. He had an apartment, an empty one; Loki and Tony both gone where he couldn’t follow. No, not _couldn’t_. He very damn well could, but he wasn’t supposed to. He didn’t want to! Why would he leave? His stupid boyfriends were supposed to be here. Wasn’t that what they had agreed on? To be here, together, and work towards a life together? Bucky knew that most of his anger wasn’t actually directed at them but their absence made them easy targets. 

Tony would be back in a couple of hours and Loki... Well, he was taking his time apparently. In the meantime, Bucky was left to worry about both of them while they were out there and he was in here.

Loki still hadn’t showed up where they might reach him. There had been a few more raids on Hydra cells but all on the other side of the world. Among the presents that kept popping up (a little less often now but still continuously) had been a manila folder. Tony had picked it up, and as he leafed through it, his face had become more and more expressionless. Stepping to his side and looking over his shoulder, it had taken Bucky only seconds to recognize what it was: files on the Winter Soldier Program. There was even a crude technical drawing of the arm. 

“It’s a rewiring that wasn’t anywhere in the official files,” Tony muttered. 

From the file, they had gotten useful information for the experts about programming and arm, which was great, but still Bucky hadn’t been skipping with joy as the experts were. There was nothing wrong with the new approach, but they’d had a good plan before the file showed up. Tony, sensing his uneasiness, had asked if he was worried about any information they had given to the team.

_“It’s not them,” Bucky explained._

_“You are still angry at him,” Tony concluded._

_Bucky startled. Of course he was still angry; Loki hadn’t come back. That was the only thing that would get Bucky to cede being pissed at him. “It’s stupid. What is he trying to accomplish? And for what? A stack of paper?”_

_“He cares about you—” Tony started._

_“If he cared, he would be here now.” They were about to start the same argument again. Tony didn’t believe that Loki would choose being with them above his perceived freedom. As if they hadn’t had a plan before Loki fucked it up. As if being with them was the same as eternal incarceration._

_Bucky added, “I don’t want him to do this for me.”_

_Tony gave him a long look, the cogs in his brain turning relentlessly again. In the end, he sighed, “It isn’t just you.”_

_“What?”_

_“JARVIS, would you please call up the reports.”_

_JARVIS projected two arrangements of layered reports in the middle of the room. They contained shots of web pages, one video stream and apparently even scanned newspapers._

_“What is that?” Bucky asked while skimming the reports._

_“There were two murders, one in Pakistan and one in the UK. No obvious connection except that they both were Afghani nationals.”_

_“Afghanistan?” Bucky asked back, carefully._

_“Yes, I didn’t know what I was looking for at first. It was JARVIS’ idea to use the terms that were most often used in the description of the attacks on the Hydra bases and look for similar occurrences worldwide. There were few, granted. But I recognized these two faces and if you compare the … method, it is recognizable.”_

_“Only two?” Bucky asked. It seemed almost quaint compared to what Loki was doing to the Hydra cells._

_“I had assumed there was no one left.” Tony shrugged._

_But Loki had found them anyway. Bucky shouldn’t feel like something warm settling within him. He felt guilty about it, but they would have gotten away without any consequences at all otherwise. “That still doesn’t give him a pass for disappearing on us,” he ground out._

_Tony smiled humorless, “Yeah, why would it?”_

Bucky shook his head to dislodge the memory and pushed himself out of the chair to fall on the bed. “Is Tony home yet?”

JARVIS answered, “Sir requested that I inform you he probably will be gone until late and that you should not wait up for him.”

Bucky pulled the covers over himself and rolled into a ball. Why did he want to go back to six weeks ago when they were arguing with the team, the Asset was about to fight everyone and Loki was still in his cage? _Do you want him to be in a cage so he can’t get away from you?_ the cruel little voice in the back of his head asked. Bucky thought grimly that it didn’t sound so horrible right now. Especially not when he was in that cage himself. He would take being in a cage with Loki and Tony over the last few weeks for sure.

It wasn’t that his life was empty. Finally being with Tony was all he had wanted. They were training with the team regularly now, and that was good, especially for Tony. For the team too; they were that much stronger together. Overall, the situation had gotten more relaxed. Although Bucky could tell that not all of Tony’s smiles for the team were genuine, but then again, he was pretty sure not all Tony’d given him were either. There was a connection rebuilding at least. They were doing movie nights and team meals nowadays with Tony more often than not. 

The team was kind of naive about the Asset though. After a very bad session the day before, it had been twitchy during training which had ended when it shot down Sam, caught him and used him as a shield against Thor who had been fighting Tony. Natasha and Tony were the only ones who didn’t find it hilarious afterwards. Steve had even commended his inventiveness. There had been no words to tell them how stupid they were and so Bucky had chosen to leave instead.

His therapist had asked if he thought that the Asset had tried to hurt anyone in earnest during training. Did he have to hurt someone before they would take it seriously?

Loki had understood. He had looked through all the confusion and aimless guilt and cut down to the core of it. He had never thought the Asset harmless or docile. He hadn’t seen the Asset for the problem it was either, but then Loki had a very liberal sense of what was dangerous or wrong.

_Loki, where are you?_ Bucky thought for what was probably the millionth time.

 

Bucky noticed that he had fallen asleep when he woke up to Tony spooning him from behind. Tony’s jacket and belt were draped over the chair but he was still wearing his slacks and the dress shirt. 

“Hey, you could have woken me,” Bucky said, stifling a yawn.

“I just wanted to cuddle you for five minutes and then wake you to go up.” Tony looked adorably tousled.

Bucky turned to press his face into Tony’s neck and breath him in. He was just about to suggest to stay in the cage for the day when the Avenger alarm started blaring.

Without hesitation or any sign of sleepiness, Tony jumped out of the bed. “JARVIS, get a suit ready and brief me.”

“It seems that a fight has broken out in a warehouse in Red Hook.” JARVIS calm voice replaced the alarm signal. ‘“Reading suggest the use of magic. The location is under surveillance due to a connection buried deep in the paperwork, leading to a former Hydra officer, but no recent activity until today.”

Tony stopped in his motion, and Bucky was up on his feet in a second. “Is it Loki?”

“One of the magic signatures fits the records we have from the Chitauri invasion.”

Tony looked at Bucky, and he sure knew what he was going to say. “I’m going with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Waits happily for screaming in the comments._


	32. Good To Be Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is time! 
> 
> All the thanks to my awesome betas [brokenEisenglas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenEisenglas/pseuds/brokenEisenglas) and [QueenMaeve](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenMaeve/pseuds/QueenMaeve)

Tony looked at Bucky, already knowing what he was going to say. 

“I’m going with you.”

“There will be cameras in a few minutes.” Tony knew the attempt was futile. At the same time he wished Bucky would stay in the safety of the tower, he completely understood why Bucky wouldn’t.

“I don’t care. Tony, Loki is there and he is making enough noise to get the Avengers alarmed! That is not a plan going right.”

Tony closed his eyes for a second because hearing his worst fears spoken out loud by someone else was a weird thrill, affirming and scary at once. But there was no time to think about this. “Okay, but we leave right now.”

Bucky was already clothed and out of the cage, pulling two guns from behind a panel, set in the wall. “Ready when you are.”

 

Tony and Bucky were first to arrive at the warehouse. The police had created a mile wide perimeter as was standard for incidents with magic. They actually had a protocol for those nowadays, even if all it said was ‘keep civilians out and call the Avengers’. 

Tony had coordinated with Steve on his way there. He had also told him that Bucky was with him and Steve had the sense to not protest.

They flew by the perimeter at an altitude that would make it impossible to recognize Bucky from the ground. The warehouse was easily spotted because of the giant hole in the wall, through which they could see Loki being attacked by a flurry of people in tactical gear. Several were already lying dead on the floor, but Loki was also bleeding from a wound to his head and another one at his shoulder. One of his opponents was wielding something big with a violet shining aura. That must be the other magic user then.

Tony dropped Bucky mid-flight when they entered the building. As soon as Bucky's feet hit the ground, he started running, not bothering to take out the weapons he brought. Tony was glad about the training sessions they had done, because otherwise he would have never let him out of his eyes.

As it was Tony spent a few seconds hovering in place, watching as Loki and Bucky together took down the guy with the violet doohickey of doom. The display of strength and skill gave the rest of their attackers enough pause that there was a stand-off moment, but then Bucky sprung into action again, and Tony had to take care of the other source of noise at the end of the warehouse. 

A group of six guys, clad in black as their colleagues, apparently completely uninterested in helping the rest not get murdered, were loading up a truck with crates, marked in due form as explosives. Who knew Hydra cared about DOT regulations?

“Can’t let anything get in the way of overnight shipping, right?” Tony announced, using the speakers of the suit. He got their attention, but instead of dashing for cover, two moved got in the cab and three on the back of the truck. The last one grabbed something from behind a stack of crates, while the engine of the truck roared to life. Tony only had time to shoot out the tires with small darts before something was directed at him from behind the crates that he, with all his weapon expertise, would call a big-ass-gun.

“JARVIS?” Tony asked, trying to come up with a plan.

“Scans indicate an eighty percent probability of armor integrity failure in case of impact.”

“That’s great, buddy.” Tony made no further attempt to stop the truck from leaving the warehouse on its two intact tires. The police should be able to handle the rest. “But how do we stop it without leveling the whole building?”

Before JARVIS could answer, the gun disappeared from existence. The Hydra goon looked up from behind his crate like a confused groundhog only to be knocked out by a metal fist.

“I think you can come down now, Tony,” Loki said. He was holding the big-ass gun, his wounds apparently gone.

“Remove the fucking glamour and let me take a look at your injuries,” Bucky just said, when Tony landed and opened the face plate. 

“Later,” Loki said, “when we are out of here.”

“We?” Tony asked carefully.

Bucky, ever the optimist, asked, “Are you gonna come back with us to the tower?”

“The most urgent concerns have been addressed; I would think that there is nothing pressing until we have sorted out things at home.”

“At home?” Bucky echoed and Tony was glad that he was not alone in being caught on the completely wrong foot.

Loki looked at them, as if asking himself who had exchanged his lovers for talking baboons. 

“Yes, at home. The tower you were just asking me about?”

Tony felt weights dropping from his shoulders. “We were hoping you were planning to return. But you just took off without a word. Bucky was convinced the presents meant–”

“Presents?” Loki looked confused.

Tony had the feeling that he still was not on the right track. What was he missing? “The books and the knives and the knick-knacks. These were from you right?”

“These knick-knacks are powerful arcane objects and artifacts,” Loki said, speaking through his teeth.

“But we can’t use these.” Tony thought maybe he should appreciate them anyway.

“Right, because they are mine.” Loki sounded horrified. “You just assumed they were for you?”

Bucky started laughing while Tony and Loki turned to look at him incredulously. 

“James, would you care to explain your sudden outburst of happiness over Tony doing who-knows-what with my belongings because he assumed they were presents?”

Bucky looked at Tony. “That is Loki’s way of telling us he’s moving in.”

It took Tony two very long seconds to compute this information. Then, he almost pounced on Loki before remembering that he was still wearing the suit. He pulled him close to give him a kiss instead, but that didn’t stop Loki from complaining. “I have half a mind to not give you your actual presents.”

That was the moment that Steve and the rest of the team chose to emerge from the depths of the warehouse.

“We handed everyone who is still alive over to the police. Only that guy’s missing.” Steve nodded towards the unconscious Hydra goon, before halting in front of Loki, “How did you find this place?”

Loki just pointed to one of the dead bodies lying face down at the floor. “He is connected to James.”

“What?” Bucky seemed as surprised as Tony by that.

“He hurt you.That leaves a connection which I followed since I left. I found him here.”

Tony followed Bucky over to the body, that he turned over with his boot. With the experience of the last weeks, Tony was able to see it on Bucky’s face when some of the Asset made its way to the surface. 

“Handler,” Bucky said.

“He was the last one,” Loki said. “There is no other line of connection with that texture left.”

“Texture?” Sam asked.

“What has been done to James leaves a very specific kind of connection in its wake. It is the same as the one between Barton and me.” He looked at Clint. “I am sorry for that.”

Clint took it with a nod. “Sorry enough that you’ll go back to your cell?”

Bucky was about to cut in, but Tony just put a hand on his arm.

Loki took a moment to answer. “I hope that my work of the last six weeks would warrant some leniency on the restrictions. But I will submit to the Avengers’ judgment. However, I would request to have also people who advocate in my favor to be part of this, namely Tony and James.” After a moment he added, “And Thor, I suppose.”

Steve looked at him and couldn’t hide a slight smile. “We can talk about that.”

-

Back at the tower, Loki suggested that he would wait in the cage while the Avengers discussed the things that had happened. It didn’t need mentioning that they would also discuss what to do with him. Thor had accompanied him and left with the words, “You took your cursed time, brother, but it is good to know you are back.”

And then Loki waited. Or so he had thought.

“Welcome back, Loki.” 

The act of reentering his cage hadn’t been easy, but hearing JARVIS voice made Loki breathe a little easier. “JARVIS, I’m sorry for disappearing without a word.”

“An apology is not necessary. I composed reports for sir regarding your occupation while you were away,” JARVIS answered.

Loki smiled. “Then our agreement regarding Tony’s well-being persists?”

“Captain Rogers preferred to have an autonomous system for the cage after the _incident_. I am in no control over the cage’s mechanics anymore.” JARVIS didn’t sound petulant, not exactly. “But I do not expect that to be a problem.”

Loki raised an eyebrow, sure in the knowledge that JARVIS would be able to see and interpret the gesture.

“As far as I can tell, the magical barrier artifacts are not perfectly aligned anymore, making the cage penetrable to magic.”

Loki had fixed this issue before making the final coup against the Red Hook cell. He was sure that JARVIS would be able to detect it but had hoped that he would accept it as long as Loki adhered to their agreement. “But there has been no attempt to realign them?”

“Apparently the people who now are in charge of your enclosure have either not noticed or decided not to correct it. Either way, it is not my place to change that anymore, as long…”

“As long it is not opposed to Tony’s well being.”

“Indeed.”

Loki grinned at the next available camera. “JARVIS, it is good to be home.”

 

When the door to the antechamber opened, Loki had his hopes who it would be but couldn’t know for sure.

A smile stole on to his face as James entered, closely followed by Tony. James paused directly in front of the cage and glared at Loki. The happiness over his return had not kept for long apparently.

“You better get comfortable. You are going to be staying in there for a while.”

Tony had waited close to the door, watching them, only now coming closer, step by step. “Nothing is decided yet. There will be more discussion, as was to be expected.”

“Was to be expected after someone left without a fucking word.” Bucky did not look away for even a moment.

Ah, there lay the problem. “If this is the price for doing what I did, I’m ready to pay my dues.”

“Oh great, and what about us? Who asked us if we were ready?” James snapped back.

“The situation is not any different than before I left.” It was rote but they needed to get through this discussion to move forward. James needed to work through this somehow. 

James tilted his head back for a moment, putting his hands on his hips. Then he leveled his stare back at Loki, speaking slowly and enunciating every word. “The fuck it is. Before we were saying that they could trust you, and now? How can we say that you won’t disappear the moment you get the chance?”

Loki couldn’t tell them that he now could leave the cage any time he wanted to. They didn’t need that burden.

Tony spoke as calmly as before, his body facing James but his eyes also directed at Loki in the cage. “Loki came back and what he did… not everyone on the team thinks it was the best course of action, but at the end of the day fighting Hydra is something they all can get behind. I think the situation might be actually better than before.”

James turned to glare at Tony. That wasn’t good. James could be angry with Loki, should be probably, but ostracizing Tony from his goodwill too would make everything so much more painful and difficult. Loki needed to get James’ attention back on him.

“Whatever consequences my absence will have, what is done is done now. Even if I’m in this cage again, I’m glad to be back with you two.”

The words had the desired effect.

“With us? We are together on this side and you have a nice front row seat,” James said. “That is not being together.”

Tony seemed set on smoothing the waves. “It’s going to be alright; we probably just need some time to adjust.”

“And what are we going to do meanwhile?” James asked. “Play some Monopoly? Oh wait. There is a glass wall in the way.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about, but whatever you want to do, please go ahead.” If James needed to be angry for a while longer, Loki could play at that.

“Whatever I want?” James seethed back. He grabbed Tony and dipped him, kissing him until they both were panting for air. “Like that? What? Do you think we will wait for you?”

“Oh, I would never be that selfish.” Loki chuckled. “Do go on.”

James seemed to consider for a moment, before picking up Tony, slinging his legs around James’ hips. He pressed Tony with his back against the glass and kissed him again, as close to Loki as he could possibly get. When he broke the kiss, he stared up challengingly. 

Loki just wanted to ask him what he was waiting for, when Tony interrupted, “How about we take this to the couch?”

James looked down the little distance at him as if for a moment he had forgotten that it wasn’t just him and Loki. Something passed behind his eyes that looked an awful lot like guilt before he turned them around.

“Is your back okay?” he asked Tony, carefully laying him out on the couch.

Tony huffed. “Don’t worry. I’m not that old.” His gaze found Loki, and whatever he was doing, Loki was sure it was the right thing for James. He gave a small nod. “But this couch is far superior for anything that’s supposed to last longer than a minute.”

Loki thought that he needed to introduce Tony to a few things that took far longer than that and were absolutely fabulous against a wall. In the same moment James said, “Remind me to show you something another time, sweetheart.”

Loki managed to not laugh but his heart fluttered against his chest. This was why he would always come back.

Meanwhile, Tony had pulled James down atop of him, entangling their limbs and sinking into another kiss. It was perfection and even separated like he was, Loki loved all of it. He knew he was part of it no matter what physically or metaphorically stood between them. 

Slowly, they started to shed clothes, and Tony found a bottle of lube behind the cushions where he had left it the last time. He slicked his palm up and took both their cocks in hand. James had fallen mostly silent, his face pressed into Tony’s shoulder, his hips working against the rhythm of Tony’s movement. Tony’s lips found his ear, and after a few whispered words, he turned his face to look at Loki. 

The look that James gave him was not positive in any way, but beneath the anger and the frustration and the spite was longing. Loki had known what he did when he had left. He knew that he was hurting them, but he also knew they were going to be alright. He hadn’t expected that they would doubt his intention to return to them. However, what was done was done and he would now give them anything they needed to get through whatever stood between them and their future.

Tony kept murmuring into James’ ear whose face twitched as if not ready to let go of his fury just yet. But in between pushing his face into Tony’s neck and turning back to keep his eyes on Loki, it melted away and what was left made Loki’s breath stall. When Tony joined James in looking directly at him while working them both even more eagerly than before, and they were both panting in parallel, so obviously close to their release, Loki remembered why he hadn’t told them that he was leaving. If they had looked at him like this, so open and so full of infatuation, he would have never been able to go.

Loki wanted to tell them that and so much more, but he knew that this was not the time and especially not the right situation. It would only serve to lighten his own burden and not to heal the wounds he had inflicted on their relationship and on them. He would make it up to them in time. They had enough of that now and Loki had everything he needed. 

It wasn’t his place to say anything. He wasn’t in control anymore; wasn’t that what Bucky’s demonstration had meant? Loki knew that his lovers were learning another lesson though, too: it did matter that he was there even behind a thick wall of glass.

As much as the display was tantalizing, Loki’s did not dare to let his attention be anywhere but their faces. He was aroused to the point of discomfort from watching the two of them together, but he would not have thought of complaining.

Finally, James couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore and cried into Tony’s shoulder while coming, seemingly pulling Tony over the edge with him, as he worked them both through their orgasms. James sank down to the side, as if to not put his full weight on Tony. He didn’t look up, but Tony’s eyes found Loki’s again and the smile that followed was fragile but hopeful enough and Loki would concentrate on that because now they could finally begin to build something altogether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuity announcer voice: _Loki is back. And now? Dial in next time to see if he will ever get out of that cage._
> 
> I don't want to promise anything but there is a plan now for all the chapter until the end. 3 out of 5 are in first draft, and when I'm at 5 of 5, I might even try to stick to a posting schedule again.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, and as always, screaming is of course a valid reaction as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates are irregular until the end. I hope you enjoy the ride.


End file.
